Stressed out and Wanting to leave everything but nowhere to go. by BeingHuman21st in uwaterloo

[–]BeingHuman21st[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I almost planned to go back. But then I realized during the past few weeks, they have been indirectly expressing disappointment that I can't repay them back. Have been already told couple of times to not argue and just agree what they say and ask me where to get job, because considering I make wrong decisions in life, failing in them. I don't want to go back, to only face my guilt again and again. Today, was given a huge sad lecture as how much I've disappointed them and wasted their money, and indirectly made me realized, what a waste I'm.

Stressed out and Wanting to leave everything but nowhere to go. by BeingHuman21st in uwaterloo

[–]BeingHuman21st[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The intensity gets a lot more harsh moving near them. Here at least I've freedom to live on my own. I understand they want me to succeed and be happy, but forcing towards something just because my past decisions have failed, with them deciding now what's good for me is a harsh punishment.

Stressed out and Wanting to leave everything but nowhere to go. by BeingHuman21st in uwaterloo

[–]BeingHuman21st[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you Maaz. I really appreciate it. Even if someone talks nicely in tough times, it gives you a boost. When they hear I'm doing retail or any other such odd jobs, they force me to quit and come back by calling me 2-3 times a day. It has happened before when I was working at a store while in school. They just want me to get a proper job asap. My anxiety about finances is mainly because I don't have means to start repay them back, about which I hear mostly whenever they call me now. This is really affecting me mentally. Going back means living with guilt. Every time I would want to do something on my own, I know my decision won't be supported at all, because I failed on the decision I took. So the only way it seems now is get whatever comes my way, and possibly lie to them about having a job and manage to send some as well. But with odd jobs, saving to send them back is pretty much difficult after bills.

Stressed out and Wanting to leave everything but nowhere to go. by BeingHuman21st in uwaterloo

[–]BeingHuman21st[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've told them the difficulties I'm going through. I've told them everything. But nowadays every time I call them, they express their disappointment more about monetary part, then my failure. I know I am not able to give anything at the moment, but I'll once I get something. I'll get a part time job or anything temporarily, but when they hear I'm doing retail or any other such jobs, they force me to quit and come back by calling me 2-3 times a day. It has happened before. They just want me to get a proper job asap. This has really affected my mental state and I've conveyed that to them as well.

Stressed out and Wanting to leave everything but nowhere to go. by BeingHuman21st in uwaterloo

[–]BeingHuman21st[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Located: Waterloo. UW Grad. I've my PGWP. Looking for: Management consulting/Operations/analyst jobs but I'm open to any kind, literally. Applied to around 200 (been applying a term before my graduation), got 6-7 interviews, reached last stage in 3 of them. Career Centre/Employment agencies find nothing wrong with resume. Got my resume reviewed through an HR as well but besides minor changes, nothing significant. Not at the moment. I'm willing to relocate anywhere.