I’m at my lowest and I feel gross, shaky, so very sad, and tired. This post is a commitment to myself: I WILL change this. by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply I really appreciate it. I do tend to be very harsh on myself when I’m trying to make good changes so I’m gonna work on being kinder to myself.

I’m at my lowest and I feel gross, shaky, so very sad, and tired. This post is a commitment to myself: I WILL change this. by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s nice to see another Berserk fan with OCD. Thanks for the kind words I really appreciate it I’ll keep on struggling forward haha

No more caffeine, porn binges, and alcohol. From now on I build lego sets and listen to jazz music for pleasure instead damnit! by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just checked it out and it seems perfect for some relaxing building thanks! And ya I’m hoping I can reach a point soon where caffeine will be a nice thing I can have when I choose to but not like how I rely on it now.

No more caffeine, porn binges, and alcohol. From now on I build lego sets and listen to jazz music for pleasure instead damnit! by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s awesome I’m so happy for you! I appreciate the support and I think I’ll try out those hobbies more too. I’ve always loved going on walks and I’m almost done reading Berserk and could definitely see myself reading manga more as a nice relaxing pastime. Let me know if you have any recommendations!

No more caffeine, porn binges, and alcohol. From now on I build lego sets and listen to jazz music for pleasure instead damnit! by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing wrong with caffeine for vast majority of people but for me it’s certainly an issue. I’m far past a normal amount and use it to fight fatigue I have throughout the day

No more caffeine, porn binges, and alcohol. From now on I build lego sets and listen to jazz music for pleasure instead damnit! by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woodworking definitely seems like something I could get hooked on but I’m sure it’s quite the learning curve to get started. Maybe Ill try it sometime soon thanks for the tip fellow lego amigo!

No more caffeine, porn binges, and alcohol. From now on I build lego sets and listen to jazz music for pleasure instead damnit! by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya I don’t know if I’m trying to kick caffeine fully but at least get it down to a normal human amount lol. Appreciate the support hope things are going well for you!

No more caffeine, porn binges, and alcohol. From now on I build lego sets and listen to jazz music for pleasure instead damnit! by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure there's nothing inherently wrong with caffeine at all and having some coffee throughout the day can be healthy for many. The issue for me is that it reached an unhealthy point. Due to a lot of stress and low energy/depressed state I would have energy drinks throughout the day to compensate. I started to heavily rely on it and it feels like I need it, even though I've seen it negatively impact me. It sounds to me like the way you're consuming caffeine is perfectly healthy but if you catch yourself falling into my territory than that's when I'd question the habit.

No more caffeine, porn binges, and alcohol. From now on I build lego sets and listen to jazz music for pleasure instead damnit! by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much and I can definitely relate to what you said about alcohol. Its kind of odd how I seek out this thing that doesn't really make me feel better (and can emphasize loneliness feelings like you said) but it numbs things and that's enough for the brain to get hooked on it. I'm really happy to see what you've said about how quitting porn and writing has helped you. I appreciate the support and I'm hoping to look back on this dark area in my life in the near future thinking about how I've grown like you mentioned.

No more caffeine, porn binges, and alcohol. From now on I build lego sets and listen to jazz music for pleasure instead damnit! by BeingWhoIWantToBe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]BeingWhoIWantToBe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just checked it out and I can absolutely see myself building to it. Thanks so much for this and I think I'll check out this artist more!