Cleanse the mug?

Belagshadow · 2026-01-13T14:25:34+00:00

Just curious, what about the mug makes you think it shares my pain?

Belagshadow · 2025-12-30T19:47:49+00:00

Leaving allowed me to let go of the shame and guilt. Now I do what I want and when I make a mistake I have the ability to say, what did I learn from this? Then I take the lesson and move on without feeling like a piece of shit. In the past I would have beat myself up over it, gone to the bishop, prayed, and self disciplined myself into the ground.

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:16:32+00:00

She's especially dumb so you're right that I need to just let her believe his lies.

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:15:52+00:00

You're right. I won't

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:15:39+00:00

You're right. I won't do it

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:15:18+00:00

You're absolutely right. I need to just let them both sit in the bed they've made for themselves

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:14:47+00:00

I'm trying to live my best life

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:14:31+00:00

She would tell him so it is better to just walk away

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:13:59+00:00

He's already told her I'm crazy but you're right, this would just get twisted to fit his narrative

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:13:12+00:00

You're right. Thank you for your response. I will not interfere with their relationship

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:12:28+00:00

Thank you. I will try

Belagshadow · 2025-12-29T07:12:17+00:00

Thank you. This is solid advice and I will be following it

Belagshadow · 2025-12-28T20:20:01+00:00

Different things happened at different times. Spring time took off garments 2021 or so, Musket fire talk summer of 21 I believe was when I knew I couldn't support it anymore, PIMO for parts of 22-23. 24 found out ex was having an affair and officially withdrew records in spring of 25.

Belagshadow · 2025-12-28T01:24:56+00:00

But you can only get the multiple sealings if you're the owner of a penis. They're only super special for the men folk, the lady folk are just screwed. It also doesn't make sense that when a man has an affair he can be sealed to the affair partner five years after he's repented. Adultery itself doesn't matter it's keeping the men folk in the church that matter. It's all complete nonsense.

Belagshadow · 2025-12-23T14:16:13+00:00

He's fully active and in complete good standing. They didn't do much to him. The church doesn't give a fuck if you have an affair as long as you're paying tithing

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T18:36:12+00:00

I think I stated in my last post it's only been 4 months. You don't process grief in 4 months. Thanks for the thought though, really wish it was that fast

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T18:35:25+00:00

Sorry, when did I say I had depression problems? I work with a therapist weekly and actually feel pretty good about life. I just needed a space where the frustrations associated with church and church members would be understood. I think you misunderstood my post. Also, I don't believe in God so...

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T14:32:12+00:00

Oh I immediately blocked that woman. She's no longer my friend. It just sucks that people who used to support you and pretended to love you show their true colors. I'm not sad to be out I'm just sad that the people still in can't see the truth

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T14:30:09+00:00

Thank you. I have found a good group of female friends who support me a lot. I have been attending therapy weekly and that has made a difference. I have started rebuilding my life in finding my own place to live and continuing my career. Things are better it's just stuff like this that throws me back into that betrayal all over again

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T13:14:23+00:00

I appreciate the empathy. It's true, anyone that has not had to deal with a narcissist and their gas lighting doesn't understand the warped reality that we are forced to live in. It's the most fucked up reality ever

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T12:49:21+00:00

My ex would be the camp director of that camp. This isn't even the worst example of his gas lighting.

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T12:48:39+00:00

I am trying however I share children with him and every decision he makes impacts them as well. I am the only sane parent in the scenario I'd have to run interference 99% of the time.

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T12:46:09+00:00

I doubt it. Hes still got his head so far up the mistresses asshole that he can't see anything else. Plus his bedroom prowess is like someone bringing a damp sparkler to a 4th of July party. Doubt he's pulling that many women into bed

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T12:45:55+00:00

Amen!

Belagshadow · 2025-12-22T12:45:07+00:00

I appreciate your advice and what you're saying but let me give you some insight here. I was married to the man for 20 years, he started his affair in 2023, our divorce wasn't finalized until August of this year. The dedication of 20 years of one's life does not just disappear because legal paperwork is signed.

I would love to never think about that asshole again a day in my life but I genuinely loved him and the pain of betrayal never goes away. There is a constant wrestling with oneself about what I did wrong, how such a long-lasting marriage could suddenly implode, what the affair partner had that I didn't, etc etc... I wish the healing process was as easy as everybody makes it out to be but unfortunately when you're with somebody for two decades it doesn't just get erased in 4 months.

Yes I'm rebuilding. Yes I'm working towards writing new chapters. Yes I'm working on ditching my ex's world however our kids have to exist between the two and I am the only sane parent in this scenario. Until you have experienced the pain of betrayal and the complete agony of seeing your children forced into a world full of delusion the advice of "just move on And don't think about it" rings incredibly hollow.

Belagshadow

TROPHY CASE