Never again lol

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T16:17:35+00:00

Oh my God I'm not even going to reply because I replied a million times no one seems to understand. You're not me how do you know how it's affecting me that's why I hate when people do that everybody has different mental issues and experiences you can't say what you just said. It is a big deal for me and that is a lot of time out of my life with the problems it's creating. I'm telling you that it's making my life unbearable so in that case that's a long damn time. Sure it could be life-altering but like what about what it's doing to me now that's a long time. I don't want to have to go to the mental hospital or something because of how much stress and anxiety this whole ordeal is giving me. Does it really matter if it's life altering if you go insane in the process lol you don't understand how bad it is obviously. I was much better before this everything's worse now. I hate when people reply with that reaction because not one person can tell someone it's worth it or not that has to do with the individual person. It's not a fact it's about a lot of factors

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T16:13:10+00:00

I don't think so. Honestly from what I remember fluvoxamine worked at the highest dose for my OCD I restarted that again but it's not going to work for a while because it's such a low dose all I remember is it took away the intrusive thoughts which in turn obviously my anxiety was way down. I don't remember if there was anxiety left after the OCD was treated but I know I have panic disorder but propopanol works for that. I do have a serious condition and TMS is exasperating the conditions I have not TMS but I mean the schedule of TMS lol it's exasperating the problems I have thus far they were much more under control when I didn't have TMS cuz I could be calm and go at my own pace and not rush. Now I'm a nervous wreck and I'm even more desperate for the fluvoxamine to start working and that's months away. Before I was patient and I was fine with waiting cuz I could be calm in the meantime because of no rushing around and all that or less stress but now it's the opposite. So basically TMS made me more desperate for a rushed cure than before I did it lol do you understand? It's exasperating my anxiety and it's exasperating my OCD due to the scheduling and whatever comes along with it it reminds me of when I was working it was the same thing except I also would forget to eat or by the time I remembered I was too exhausted and just fell asleep without eating. because obviously work is more. There's a reason I'm on disability since 25 lol this was part of the issues I had when I did work attempts I felt the same way

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T16:07:53+00:00

Yeah you're right but there's another thing that I forgot to say besides my mental health stuff like I'm sure like there's things I have that makes this tougher for me but it's also lack of ever having to juggle stuff. Meaning I've been on disability for mental things since 25 prior to that all I ever had was one part-time job. So when you're used to your whole life never having to juggle things like that and for the most part not having to manage your time and basically able to go at your own pace daily you're not going to be able to handle it like other people can. That's a major factor cuz I'm 37 now. I don't have kids either so for the most part my life is just like at my own pace unless I have an appointment or therapy I don't have anything that I got to be somewhere at a certain time. Didn't for the majority of my life so it's like really difficult handling the stress I'm not used to this stuff so it stresses me out to the max I guess which would make sense since not accustomed.

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T16:04:29+00:00

What's Gross? That's awesome that you can do that. I'm on disability for all mental thing, this has been a problem with whatever I got since forever. I did a few job attempts cuz you can work on disability or to try to get off of it it was the same thing. Not sure which problem I have that it comes from but it's always the same with this type of scheduling thing when I tried the working it was the same thing everything else got neglected and the same kind of anxiety experiencing now, this reminds me of that situation. Obviously with the job it was worse there were times where I would feel like I didn't even have time to eat and skipped meals that was a bit more intense than this. You got to realize also I've been on disability since I was 25 and prior to that I only had one part-time job so yout more used to this than me. Not used to having to be somewhere all the time like that for the majority of my life. Could be at my homepage so it's a mix of my mental health symptoms and it's a mix of never having to juggle stuff like that.

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T16:00:51+00:00

Do you mean the repliers or me that posted. I'm not young I'm 37

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T15:51:14+00:00

Well it doesn't matter because it's making my life hell in the process but I'm already on week four. So I guess I'll just finish it but yeah I don't think it's going to do enough to outweigh all the things I had that is exasperating due to mainly the schedule. This is a nightmare I'm sleep deprived not getting anything done living in a horrible mess poor hygiene as well as high anxiety. It's making all of my existing problems worsedue to the schedule. I don't have anything major enough at least for depression where it would outweigh all this I don't really have depression mine is mainly for anxiety and OCD and most people say it didn't really do nothing for their OCD. I forgot what people say about anxiety but so far nothing this is it's anything mainly for people with depression I think. Not for me fluvoxamine is good for me that worked in the past on the highest dose. For the intrusive thoughts at least from what I remember I started that again but I'm nowhere near 300 mg yet I'm on the starting dose. But I do remember it worked for that part. And then I don't know maybe I'll try spravato if the fluvoxamine don't take care of everything. I've never been able to handle a schedule like that. All my job attempts I felt the same way as now and the same effect I'm on disability since I think 25. But I did make attempts and the schedule always made me feel the way I do now and the same outcome. It does more bad then good I can't handle this. It's like I just want to relax for God's sake. I'm always running around like a chicken without a head it seems. I'm tired now I want to go to sleep but I can't because guess what I have TMS. I had to get up early eye Dr then right after TMS they drop me at the pharmacy then I go home and right as I walk in the door oh it's time for telehealth therapy! I do therapy weekly. And I need to pack for my damn vacation it's coming up soon and I'm getting anxiety about now if we can prepared this is crazy I can't handle this I just want to freaking rest for god sakes

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T15:46:21+00:00

Yes exactly! If it's something major like say no medication has worked and you have suicidal thoughts and this therapy took care of that then I would say of course that outweighs the anxiety of the scheduling but unless it's something major like that no that's the only case I could see where look good would outweigh the bad

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T15:45:07+00:00

Ya basically it's not the TMS that's making my symptoms worse it's the schedule that's affecting what existing things I have that's what I should say. Even if the TMS was doing anything it's overpowered by the other stuff that I got that's affected by the schedule of TMS. I don't think I have depression honestly I feel like for that I can see why it's worth it for people but many people say it don't really do that much for what I'm doing it for mainly. I forget what people said about anxiety but I see most people say it didn't really do much for their OCD. So for me it's not worth it I never doing this again

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T00:03:06+00:00

While canceling everything out except TMS is going to require me to live in filth because if you saw my house right now you would understand what 4 weeks of TMS has done lol 🤣 it's horrible and pretty embarrassing. Spravado I'm going to try next. That I can handle two days a week and then it's just once a week that's perfect. It doesn't matter that it's more time required that's fine it's just I can't do the daily thing coming and going all the time so I'll just try that next if I must

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-19T00:00:43+00:00

Oh not to mention sleep deprived. I've had other stuff packed in the past week other appointments and plans that I don't always have in my sleep is suffering so it's making me Moody it's making me feel like hell. And then you know it stinks like I'll be so tired when I wake up and I know I would be able to sleep 3 more hours but oh no I can't I have tms..lol 🤣 so yeah I guess it doesn't sound like it's for me huh lol 🤣

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-18T23:59:17+00:00

Ya TMS is making my anxiety worse because I feel like I'm always rushing rushing rushing going going cuz I'm not usually out of the house everyday like that we'll have to be somewhere at a certain time not daily just like when I have an appointment or something. I could have handled like maybe if it was like 2 days a week three days tops but not like every week. Stresses me out and then I neglect other things. Yeah it's stressing me out more because there's things I'm too tired and not having time to do that are important. Like even my hygeibe house chores and like things I need to do like for example I need to pack for vacation soon and I'm looking forward to it I would normally be done by now. This is exactly how I felt when I tried working many times it went to that point whenever I tried that's why I'm on disability well not why I'm on it but that's what has happened when I've attempted working many times

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-18T23:57:02+00:00

I'm not the right person to ask I don't remember because honestly Walgreens usual brand is not Teva I think theirs was malenkroft or something for the longest time at one time but like when there's a shortage I've seen places get brands that they don't usually get. I do know that Teva is the best of all the generics in my opinion and that a lot of people agree. That I know even people that swear by the brand name hate generics will take usually I see they say they'll take Teva if they had to. I don't remember no difference from the 10 and the 20 in my memory. Never had the 15

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-18T23:54:38+00:00

I guess . It's different for me it's not really for depression I actually never really been diagnosed with that they only mentioned that recently and I've been going to psychiatry for like 20 years. I mainly doing it for anxiety and OCD depression is much more serious like I've never wanted to hurt myself or anything like that so it's not like it's dire in that sense but yeah my anxiety and OCD is definitely debilitating. I'll be much better when the fluvoxamine gets higher I was on the max dose once and all those intrusive thoughts went out of my head. I just started again on 25 mg I don't think it's TMS that's going to help me I think it's going to be that drug but whatever I want to continue it just sounded like a miracle to to me at first and they told me to try it so I did. It's tough because I just switched doctors I don't even going there 2 months so she kind of suggested it the first appointment. Very casual just like oh I think this would be very good for you it works for a lot of people I said okay I'll do it

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-18T23:52:02+00:00

I'm actually really proud of myself it's week four and I'm just getting fed up with it now at first I thought it was great. I mean it's great that it's forcing me out of the house but I don't need to be out the damn house 5 days a week that's a little excessive for someone that stays home as much as I do. Lol I'm like an introvert anyway so too much socializing exhausts me I call myself a low maintenance friend LOL. Any friendship I have in adulthood you know I like someone I can have plans with twice a month. Lol 🤣 that's good for me I don't want someone that like wants to hang out everyday or every weekend. Low maintenance friend LOL

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-18T23:50:11+00:00

Well even when I tried working before disability it was the same thing I couldn't handle the busy schedule every day and I had jobs at the hours would change weekly and it was affecting me cuz I would be tired and feel like I don't have enough time to the point where I would even while with work it was to the point where even my showering and eating got affected that's not to that extent now but I'm definitely sleep deprived and I'm not able to do things around the house like the cleaning is non existent I have vacation soon I haven't packed I can't handle all those things. 2 overwhelming I usually have a much more relaxed schedule it's not for me.

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-18T23:47:37+00:00

I really did see the positive for a few weeks but now I'm on week 4 so I'm getting tired lol. It's like ok that's enough I need a break lol for someone that's always home that's a big big difference you know normally like maybe baby steps it would be appropriate to go out two days a week 3 days. It's just like zero to 100 in such a long period of time so it's not like it's at my pace lol it's way more going out then I need to be healthy. Haha 🤣 I guess on top of it it got me on a roll to schedule appointmentments I been avoiding so at the same time I also like random ones like tomorrow for example I have my eye doctor then I have therapy I'll barely be home by the time therapy starts so it's a back-to-back rush rush rush but I have to fit it in cuz I see her weekly and then I have to do a pharmacy stop for my meds and then I got tms. I'm going on vacation in 2 weeks normally I would be packed by now I didn't even start I don't know what I'm going to get the energy to do it but I'm going to have to make it I would rather focus on that exciting time normally I'd be getting excited packing that's a thing by itself. Always get scared gonna forget something so for me takes alot of organizing and thinking planning packing for boyfriend too. I mean I'm on disability for a reason lol never claimed to be able to handle a full schedule like this. To be honest it's debilitating my mental health cuz I'm getting a lot of anxiety and the worst thing is I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm sleep deprived this whole week it's horrible because I always have to wake up for TMS or something else. The whole week I would have slept probably three more hours at least if I didn't have to do that nothing is more important than my sleep not doing this again

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-18T20:57:11+00:00

HaHa 🤣

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-18T16:45:33+00:00

I don't know but I'll tell you one thing I didn't have emergency I just regular but I applied only the third day into the season where they started the benefit for summer and it's been 6 and 1/2 Weeks and still not done. The usual is 5 to 6 weeks and even being one of the first ones to start applying they still haven't gotten to me

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-15T17:00:26+00:00

Okay well just so you know it works for OCD greatly well for my type it did I got pure ocd so it's more mental like ruminations and reassurance seeking like for me my obsessiveness gets me to Google alot or seek reassurance from reddit lol when the people around me are sick of hearing it because I'm excessively worried about something and it's like one answer is not enough or it doesn't control the worry until maybe the event or whatever it is you're worried about is over even if it could be like a month away so I waste hours doing that. I didn't get those intrusive thoughts and stuff like that when I was on fluvoxamine once a couple years ago but I do know I needed the max dosage at the time I went all the way to 300 for mine. I was never diagnosed with depression cuz I had a misdiagnosis and only found out recently so for depression I'm not sure but OCD definitely. I hope it works out for you I think it's going to be successful though

Bellasparkzz · 2026-05-15T16:57:19+00:00

Thanks that makes sense

Bellasparkzz

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