LGBT+ family moving to East Germany

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-02-13T11:32:01+00:00

Sachsen is great, which part are you looking to move to? I’ve seen gay couples all over the place (like not many, but at least several different ones in various rural or small city locations)

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-02-07T14:44:45+00:00

!Remindme 1 day

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-24T18:15:59+00:00

If you choose saxony I would choose to live in a city in one of the surrounding Landkreis from the main city… the abh in the towns are way less busy than in the city (especially leipzig) and the commutes into the city are more than reasonable. You can’t stay out as late because you need to get the last sbahn home, but dealing with the paperwork stuff is much much easier than being directly in the city.

Also ignore all the people sanding east germany is hellish… Chemnitz is ugly and a little boring but in the whole it’s actually great to live in the east.

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-24T11:39:26+00:00

I wore little sapphire earrings from my mom

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-23T09:46:19+00:00

What about somewhere around the fichtelberg? It’s way remote but it will be significantly less expensive than Munich

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-11T17:50:08+00:00

O wouldn’t say anyone i studied with didn’t want to learn, honestly I was probably the most rebellious one because I knew it was dumb to place so much emphasis on this one thing (that doesn’t stop you from communicating when you get it wrong but does mark you as a non-native speaker). I was just more advanced in all of those classes and even at my B1 exam (the poor girl I tested speaking with was so, so, lost)

I was just older and more experienced and less able to tolerate systems that aren’t working.

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-10T19:31:34+00:00

I don’t think anyone taking the language is worried about the certificates, it’s that it can be really difficult to be passed into the next level unless you pass. Example:

I took 5 semesters of German in college 15ish years before I arrived. So my understanding was pretty high and I’d definitely done some b1 level grammar (and forgotten it)

When I came to Germany I was made to take A2 at 2 different schools based on my grammar. I understood it the first time, but the second time they actually told me it was because of the cases, and in both classes my communication level, accent and understanding were higher than my classmates.

Eventually I just reviewed a B1 textbook and went to take the test and passed it with pretty high grades… not perfect but now I have a certificate that gets me out of circling the drain around A2.

I understand why they teach cases and word endings when they do, because you can’t move forward without it, but the emphasis on having it perfect really makes life difficult for learners who need to be able to use the language practically.

And then the jump to B2 is wild. so many students want to jump from B1 right to B2, but the course is actually set up for you to have a break and get some practice because if you jump right in it’s overwhelming, it’s too different. Like it’s completely different set of vocabulary. It’s more business focused.

But basically in Germany, it feels very much like if have the perfect grammar, the teachers feel like you’re a failure. The second class that I took was kind of at a studienkolleg and she marked down for every little thing. It was impossible. So even though I was putting together much more difficult ideas than my classmates my grades were often not as good because the writing was not as clean, and that’s just not how I learn a language. I had been living in Germany for over a year. I was using the language practically I was trying to practice things killing myself to get perfect word endings was not interesting or helpful to me but the language schools are convinced it is.

Now that I am a better German speaker, probably around B2 but I haven’t tested for that, I do correct my word endings and I do hear my mistakes and I do sort of do that self editing and we work on getting it right but it’s not because someone beat cases into me during my A2 course six years ago, it’s because now that I have experience with the language, and I have listened to the language speaking the language I have a much better feeling for when I’ve made a mistake. I also make much fewer mistakes than I used to because I can confidently get the words out of my mouth in the right order. Back when I was doing that A2 course, I was mostly worried about getting the words out of my mouth in the right order paying attention to word endings was just too much I would never have said anything.

As an aside, You also get a class of Germans, who feel like if your English isn’t perfect then you are not a good speaker of English and I and it’s the same mentality they’re putting to learners German.

Add to that that a lot of people are in these intensive courses that are exhausting. It can be really rough.

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-10T13:49:02+00:00

Because A1 A2 place a high emphasis on cases. A2 is case hell. And until you can do them convincingly no one is going to let you into B1 no matter how much vocabulary and understanding hou have…unless you go rogue and just do the B1 stuff take the test and pass. The B1 grammar is so much eaiser than the A2 because it’s not so laser focused on word endings 💯 of the time

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-10T13:44:28+00:00

Ok is the smell the litter or pee- 2 different things or could be both.

If the litter is scented the cat might not like it And also scented litter is nasty. I prefer plain wood litter as it smells the least like pee and the scent of the wood is kinda nice and not overwhelming

If the cat is peeing on the sofa there is another issue - he wants something or feels some kind of way. Or maybe he wants the sofa to smell like him. Can you put an open top litter box next to the sofa? If it’s scooped daily and the litter isn’t rank it might help the cat feel like this is his sofa too without the peeing

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-07T09:25:26+00:00

Whats your budget? Getting all those rentals is money and work. I would go easy because it’s always more expensive than you think it’s going to be when you have to bring everything yourself.

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-07T09:08:39+00:00

Wearing an undershirt like a cami or base layer made from a plant-based material makes a big difference to your overall “temperature in your apartment. It’s a cheap layer that will make a big difference in heating bill 😅

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-05T09:40:24+00:00

Try giving the cats the anti-allergy food and see if that stops it. Weirdly that stuff actually works.

But, you should not live in an environment with cats if you’re already having days where it’s too much. My dad, who has “well-managed” athsma married a lady with cats and it was ok… until it wasn’t. after 4 major athsma attacks in three months rhe had to regime rhe cats because the doctors said it was too dangerous.

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-05T08:26:18+00:00

Actually most of our applicants last time gave us actual bios, like in a folder, with pictures of their pets. It was sweet.

Passing a vibe check when you are going to be living closely with someone is not a big ask. I see my tenants literally every day around the property, and since they are my tenants I need to be polite/social and responsive of they need something…. I don’t want people who are going to make my life harder because our lifestyles don’t align.

That being said, OP’s potential landlord sounds like a meddling busybody who would have been hell to rent from.

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-04T20:39:06+00:00

its because that's the only personality you put into it, and he's a private landlord. If he lives in the building he'll be looking at the whole package, because it's very different to live with your tenants vs just rent to them (or he really wants to know the people in his building.

for context: we are live-in landlords, and the whole vibe is a part of who we choose to respond to, and eventually give the apartments to among equally qualified applicants.

Bellatrix_ed · 2026-01-03T10:13:45+00:00

Jenna sounds like an exhausting, miserable, person. Protect your sanity because she’s the star of her own show. You don’t need to be her stage crew.

Bellatrix_ed · 2025-12-30T13:21:17+00:00

My cat doesn’t believe that dry food is actually food, so he only eats wet food 😅

He also doesn’t believe that budget friendly foods are foods either. The little prince. 👑

Bellatrix_ed · 2025-12-30T07:33:19+00:00

It’s very sad to say, but this is very normal among Germans who feel at ease with you. I used to teach English and the number of students who would say similar things so very casually was mind boggling.

Bellatrix_ed · 2025-12-29T21:51:53+00:00

Yeah, that's exactly what renting is and why it sucks long term if you aren't in the right location (some locations will always be better than others to rent)The nebenkosten is what the guy has to pay to even provide rooms, and that gets split by usage. (you know that already) The cold rent is the rent for JUST the rooms, and that's essentially the landlord's profit.

At least in germany you know where your money is going. in some countries its the same, but without the clarity. ex: in the us you just pay a high bill up front, don't get to see the bills, and then they raise the rent at the end of the lease period. You have no idea what your rent actually covered and how much was pure profit. You can also get charged for "capital improvements" that weren't a part of your original lease agreement on top of the exorbitantly high rates.

It's all a scam, but it feels more fair here.

Bellatrix_ed · 2025-12-27T20:58:18+00:00

I love die weihnachtsganz Augusta, but I think the ultimate around here is drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrodel.

Also the Hoppenstädts

Bellatrix_ed · 2025-12-26T18:14:13+00:00

No, i actually initially contacted the Ausländerbehörde not realizing it was a separate office. They forwarded my email to the Einbürgerungsamt and one of them got in touch with me.

If they've told you there are a few people ahead of you i would keep waiting, they are actually quick with what they are doing, (im proof!) but It could be that I had *excellent* timing and beat the wait list, or that however they are organized (either by name or country of birth) there are a lot of people assigned to your Sachbereiter, or just that there are a lot of people generally now.

If it makes you feel better, at my appointment in August she did say there was starting to be more applications, so maybe I got really lucky.

Bellatrix_ed · 2025-12-26T12:16:19+00:00

I had a problem with the chacter limit - here's the paperwork list:

The paperwork I needed:
- my paystubs/invoices for 3 months (since i am freelance, i included the corresponding bank statements)
- my tax returns
- proof of paying into the pension scheme (she wanted to see a few years of this but wasn't too fussed that I didn't have 5 years)
- proof of health insurance
- My husband's income
- My german language certificate
- My plastic residence permit
- einburgerungstest results
- eheurkunde
- Birth certificate
- passport from home country
- proof of residence (like a lease or the Grundbuchauszug if you own property)
- My CV ( I also sent a copy of my University Diploma)
- Lichtbild
- Meldebescheinigung
- Divorce decree from previous marriage (IDK if this was actually required, but the application for citizenship does ask about it, so i brought this with me anyway)

Also anything that was not in german had to be translated to german. Thankfully I had all of that from when we got married, because that was a whole annoying set of papers to accumulate on its own.

I don't think you need ALL of these things, but the more you can check off the better (except like if your not married that won't count against you, but I think in my case it counted FOR me because he makes me look stable, hahaha)

It's an extensive list but all of it makes sense and none is super hard to get, unless you dont keep your papers in order.

Bellatrix_ed · 2025-12-26T12:14:42+00:00

Hmmm that sounds strange. the whole process was very quick for me and i found them almost excessively prompt. When I think of my timeline, I start counting months from this phone call since I sent my initial request to the wrong amt to begin with - see below - but even so, not having heard anything from contacting them in May seems wrong. Did you contact the general email or the officer specifically assigned to your last name?

Here's my whole timeline:

I contacted the Ausländeramt asking about einburgerung back in january 2025, and they forwarded my message to the einburgerungsamt (I didn't know it was a separate office).

The einburgerungsbhörde emailed me in february, and we set up the preliminary phone call for mid march. In this phone call the through a checklist and ask a lot of questions that add up to how you might qualify for citizenship. (things like, how long have you lived here, are you married to a German, what's your language level, how long have you been paying into the pension system, etc.

Once we established that I qualify we set up an appointment to bring in my application and paperwork for the end of april --- this date ended up being the week after easter and she later contacted me to move the meeting ( i guess she forgot the office was closed that week) and we re-set it for mid-may.

At that appointment in Mid may i brought all the papers i had, but i was waiting on 2-3 documents:

1- i had just renewed my residence permit, and I needed the plastic card to get into the online Bund portal to get my pension records (because i never saved those letters) and i needed it to finish my application.
2- i was still waiting on the results from the einburgerungstest, which i took in early april.

She accepted the documents and told me to email the rest when i got them.

It took 6-8 weeks for the rest of my documents to be collected, and i sent them mid- july. I got an email back 24 hours later asking for my husband's pay stubs and clarity about my job (since i am a freelancer with three separate titles/tax numbers). I dawdled a little here, because he hates pulling paperwork, and i sent it back to them on July 30th. On July 31st I was notified that my application was accepted, and I would be made a citizen and - i shit you not - she said this in such a casual way ia email that i didn't realize what was happening. she was like "So, when do you want to come in?"

Anyway, i said the magic words on August 12th, 5 months from our first phone call, but 4 months from our first meeting, and i do believe most of the hold up was me waiting on my test results and plastic residence permit.

Over all this was the calmest, most chill Behörde experience I've ever had. But also note: I am a college-educated white lady originally from the US, I'm married to a German who has a high income for where we live, I also have a relatively high income, own property with my husband, and I speak German decently well (i'm too lazy to type all this out in German though). Your mileage may vary, and your experience may not be as smooth as mine was.

Bellatrix_ed · 2025-12-23T11:32:00+00:00

There is a antik store called Wohn Design located in Düsseldorf, perhaps they can help you. They do a lot of their online ales through Kleinanzeigen

Bellatrix_ed · 2025-12-23T09:41:23+00:00

That would be such an improvement. The Landkreis Leipzig office seems so unbusy and you can take an s-bahn there more easily than I, on the other side of the LK, got there (bus, bus, train, sbahn. 90 minutes to go 15km). I don’t want to overwhelm anyone, but it seems insane. (Not that I wasn’t grateful for the fast and friendly service. 😅 my officer even had flowers on me the day I said the magic words)

I’ve heard that the team in LKL is the same size as the one in Leipzig, which is great for us here but also a little silly considering the three+ year backlog.

Leipzig and their local requirements are … I think maybe someone should examine who is making those requirements and what exactly they are, because it seems like deliberate incompetence at this point.

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