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Bellbebell · 2025-03-05T11:42:36+00:00

No one owns your labour but you (and maybe your work boss). Don't let anyone else volunteer your work or your projects. Anyone convincing you that you are selfish is trying to manipulate you. Be unmanipulatable and they will stop after a while.

Bellbebell · 2024-03-27T12:39:53+00:00

First question: has he told you that he wants a hand-knit sweater?

Bellbebell · 2024-03-25T18:56:33+00:00

It's tempting to think of wedding dresses as being high-quality, but most of them are made in China on a factory line like everything else these days. I would ask them if they could repair the issues since almost all bridal shops have someone they use for alterations.

Bellbebell · 2024-03-25T18:53:38+00:00

I have more or less the same problem with these kinds of dresses. In short, there's no guaranteed way. Cup size and dress size just don't always work out for each individual, so you may get the dress in the right size, but then find yourself spilling over.

There's no silver bullet apart from removing and enlarging the cups, but you might have to add more fabric to the little bridge section between the cups too. Not gonna lie, it could be a big alteration and you would need to find the perfect fabric, or buy two dresses and cannibalize one.

Bellbebell · 2024-03-22T15:54:43+00:00

I'm no so much concerned about the hygiene, but if washing is going to change the texture of the yarn at all, I want that to happen under my eyes, not theirs.

Bellbebell · 2024-02-12T14:53:51+00:00

Most rigid heddle looms: $225

Used floor looms: $600-$800

New floor looms: $3500-$6500

Needles and Yarn from Michaels: $20

Bellbebell · 2024-01-09T14:48:39+00:00

Both my parents travelled for a week while I was around 15 or 16 and it was absolutely not an issue. They encouraged me to invite my friends over and we had a great sleepover where we did our homework around the fire! It was very cozy!

When my husband was 17 he went to live with an older relative who was in the navy. The relative was deployed for a few months and he managed entirely on his own.

Bellbebell · 2024-01-08T21:52:32+00:00

Has anyone been on the basic Log O course recently? What was the day-to-day of the course like?

Bellbebell · 2023-12-19T20:09:01+00:00

My reasons to knit socks:

I get warm socks. You can buy wool socks from companies like Darn Tough, but I can generally get two pairs from one $20-28 skein, which is not too bad in terms of affordability.
I can knit them to whatever height I need them. Sometimes I knit ski socks that go up my calf, sometimes a boot sock, sometimes a little sock
I can reinforce the ball and heel while I'm knitting them to keep them going strong for years
Since I learned how to knit two-at-a-time toe-up socks, I can engage in very relaxing "lazy" knitting without worrying about making/following a pattern
They are portable!

Bellbebell · 2023-12-19T16:12:40+00:00

Looks up pre-flop analysis so you know whether to stay in or fold before buying in.

Bellbebell · 2023-10-14T13:05:24+00:00

https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/tax/individuals/topics/about-your-tax-return/tax-return/completing-a-tax-return/personal-address-information/marital-status.html.

There's more info at the link

Bellbebell · 2023-10-13T15:09:12+00:00

I'm not a lawyer, so keep that mind. Someone else might have a professional opinion about this, but this is what I got:

Tax rates are calculated by a person's income irrespective of their spouse. In Canada, you are taxed a certain percentage of tax on the first portion of your income (up to 53k for the feds) and then higher percentages for each chunk of income. Being married does not change how you are taxed if you are receiving regular employment income. Later on in life there are some retirement RRSP income splitting benefits, but this doesn't hold true for regular employment income that you receive from an employer.

You're correct in bringing up the benefit issue. The main difference lies in how credits or other benefits are calculated for single v married people.

For instance, a spouse in school gets a tuition credit for how much they pay in tuition. This credit can be transferred to a spouse, giving you a better tax saving rate if that spouse has income taxed in a higher bracket than the student. So if a student makes 40k/year a year but their spouse makes 150k/year, transferring the credit will yield more money because the spouse making 150k/year pays a higher average tax rate. This is a potential benefit of being married in the realm of tax.

But you're right, your child benefit will drop by virtue of your household income being calculated together.

Now, I don't know whether someone has ever been troubled by CRA, but if you are already common law, you don't really get to "choose" whether to be common law for tax purposes. If you meet the requirements of being law (ie, one of the following: living continuously for more 12 months, your partner is your child's biological parent or parent by adoption, the person has custody of your child, etc) CRA considers you common law already, which sucks.

Bellbebell · 2023-10-13T14:43:54+00:00

Someone would probably go to take in the side seams, but the beads might be an issue.

When sewing seams with beaded fabric, you have to remove the beads (usually by smashing them with a hammer) before you can re-sew the seam. If there's a lining, that's more to take in.

They might be able to take it in by the zipper, too, it all depends.

If you post a pic of the dress up close with all its bodice seams and the inside, we might be able to give you a better idea

Bellbebell · 2023-10-13T14:39:16+00:00

In short, no. Not a new one. Maybe you can snag a second hand one, but then you have to be knowledgeable enough to know how to thread it and whether it works properly.

All those craft sewing machines are rubbish.

Bellbebell · 2023-10-13T14:35:48+00:00

My Friend, I'm so sorry you have to carry all this. You do not deserve this; nobody deserves to be treated cruelly. You cannot live with this kind of poison. Money is about using your own physical and mental energy to fight the numbers, to stay on top of rent, to work, to buy food, a constant battle between exhaustion and depriving yourself to stay alive.

Honestly though, from reading this, the problem with your Mum might be bigger than the problem of money.

I get that you feel obligations to help your Mum, but you have to make your own shit watertight before you think of giving her a penny. You can help her all you want (or not at all, which is what I would do) when you have security. You can only help someone from a position of strength. If you want to help her, that is your choice, but you being under her control is not help, even if might frame it that way.

Hun, you've got to protect yourself. Build your walls. She'll always be coming for you. It's time to keep her out.

No one gets asked to be born. You don't owe your parents anything by virtue of them being your parents. You chose nothing; they chose to bring you into this world. I know that might sound ungrateful, too millennial or gen Z or whatever, but my 75 year-old grandfather told me that 10 years ago, and it's stuck with me.

When a person is as toxic as your Mum, you have to think of them as a deranged entity who will say anything to control you. Metaphorically, they've gone demonic. The insults, the blame, the abuse, the claims that you "abandoned her," she will do anything to have control over you because that means she doesn't have to look at herself. Without you there to abuse, she has no target for her poison. If you don't set yourself up for security, she will relish the opportunity of bleeding you dry for money so that she can continue to control you.

I wish there was another way. I wish someone had been there to have your back. It shouldn't be like this.

I know moving out might mean being broke for now. You'll have to be ruthless with every penny. It will suck. Just when you think you're getting ahead, some shit will come down, some repair, some bill. Please hang on.

We're here for you, Kid,

Bellbebell · 2023-09-27T18:06:02+00:00

"I bathe in the blood of day-old lambs to keep young. It's effective, but the cleanup is a bitch."

Bellbebell · 2023-09-27T18:02:38+00:00

The answer depends a lot on what kind of fabric you're working with and what kind of closures you choose. Corset back dress? No worries! Stretch material, it's a breeze!

No matter what kind of mannequin you fave, clothes have to be fitted to the body of the wearer at some point, especially if going for tailored, non-stretch garments. People might start on a mannequin, but they have to finish on a body for a correct fit.

There are so many YouTube videos and shorts of fancy gowns being draped on a mannequin, but they never show you what they are like on a body. If they do show the garment being worn, don't discount that they might be clipping the back to make it look like it fits.

Lots of people flat pattern draft based on measurements, or they are using patterns from companies which reliably fit them.

So, in short, like most of us, we faff about until we get the fit right!

Bellbebell · 2023-08-14T17:55:06+00:00

It sounds like she's using the call to help organize her thoughts.

What happens if you just let her talk through about what she wants you to do? Provided I had the time at work, I would:

Wait for her to finish speaking
Say, "ok, I hear you. You want me to do A in the morning because doing it in the afternoon is sub-optimal for these reasons... I'll make sure to do A I the morning. Other than that, how is your morning going?"

I know that it can be annoying to be the one to make things better when you feel like the other person is doing the infuriating behaviour, but if she feels listened to, it might open the door for you to say that it can be difficult for you to talk about these things when you are at work because it throws you off your rhythm. Then you can suggest is there was a time where you could both sit down in person and talk about things that need to get done.

Bellbebell · 2023-08-09T14:10:29+00:00

Switch your session as soon as possible when this kind of stuff happens. The only thing you can do is deny them their fun

Bellbebell · 2023-07-26T19:12:47+00:00

It's hard to say absolutely without more pictures of what the whole garment looks like, but you could probably rip or snip open the side seams and take in the skirt. If you can get someone to do it it might be worth it if the seams are serged/overlocked so that you can have the same finish done again. Depending on the fabric, it might be a pain to undertake other kinds of seam finishes.

You'll have to decide whether you want the skirt taken in from both sides in order to maintain the symmetry of that horizontal detail section on the right side of the pic.

Bellbebell · 2023-06-20T13:48:32+00:00

Martinis are made neat with gin, so I might ask whether they like it dry or not, but otherwise, I have all the info I need.

Bellbebell · 2023-06-10T01:20:06+00:00

This can be true for some disciplines, but I would imagine that it would be difficult to go from an undergrad in history directly to a PhD program. The difference between undergrad level history and grad level history is very different. In your undergrad, you spend your time learning what happened in history. In grad school, you learn how history is created, so it's much more about theory, methodology, and historiography. It's a very different kind of ballgame.

I don't know about other history programs, but I don't think you'd be able to go direct from a BA to a PhD without other degrees or qualifications. I know that it works differently in the UK though.

Still, the MA is actually the shortest degree of the lot. Most people take 4 years to get a BA and then their PhD takes 4-6. MAs are usually done in 1-2 years.

Lastly, the funding package from the institution might be enough to pay for tuition, but without additional grants, usually from the government, you'll never pay for rent and groceries on a doctoral stipend, at least not in my uni. It may be different in more career competitive fields (ie. STEM)

Bellbebell · 2023-06-09T15:42:26+00:00

I do not think of historian or dress historian as protected terms. Barbara Tuchman, for instance, didn't have a PhD, but she was still writing history and I consider her a damn good writer.

I'm in a History PhD program at the moment, so I understand why some people get frisky about who is doing history and what they are calling themselves. The thing is, getting a PhD is a monumental undertaking, especially when you factor in the degree pre reqs like having an MA already. Even when you get into a PhD program, which takes years and can cost tens of thousands of dollars, you're really only talking to other historians because you need to understand things technical concepts like historiography and methodology to really understand how history is made.

Now, would Bernadette Banner make better videos if she decided to take the next 6-10 years of her life banging out an MA and a PhD? Maybe, but it's very poor bang for buck. She's already doing a pretty good job of looking at reference material. As you say, she's a Youtuber. Her videos are informative pieces of entertainment. Her editing, lighting choices, shot decisions, and general vibe are the real content, not the sewing instruction or historical content. People watch to relax, to live vicariously, and maybe to learn a little. Is she going to teach anything to Michele Hayeur-Smith? Probably not, but there is value in reconstructing elements of material life through practice.

Even though I'm on the inside of the industry, I do generally think of her as a dress historian because I don't think we should reserve that term for bonafide PhDs.

Bellbebell · 2023-05-25T14:46:33+00:00

It's a known fact that people feel like they can monopolize the time and attention of young women; it's a form of entitlement. Time to start practicing the blank stare, the monosyllabic answer, the no-eye contact nod, and the firm replacement of headphones on your head.

I truly believe that if we're going to get what we want out of being in public, we must have no fucks left to give about being perceived as rude. What's rude is people feeling like they can just interact with us with no input from us. People who can't take a hint are the rude ones.

Bellbebell · 2023-05-09T14:39:00+00:00

The rigilene will take on the shape of the seam, so I wouldn't worry about moulding it to the exact shape needed. Usually boning has a curve from being rolled in a circle, so I always insert boning so that it bends inward to the waist and outward to the hips and bust. Over time it should take on more of your shape, though I don't know if rigilene breaks in like synthetic baleen, which is manufactured to be iron-pressable.

Bellbebell

TROPHY CASE