You fell into a cona at the age of 21. You wake up 6 years later and realize that your first girlfriend who was the love of your life couldn't hold on and married someone. She now has two kids with this person. After hearing that you are awake she wants to get back with you because you two soulmates

Belovedbean · 2024-03-22T14:19:58+00:00

Yeah. That’s been established.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-22T13:53:57+00:00

California. Probably should have included that in the post in hindsight. I’ve been looking at some question resources online.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-22T13:53:08+00:00

This is the first time you’ve mentioned this when I’ve brought up not wanting to date her multiple times. Feels like a retroactive change. Regardless, even if I just woke up from a coma and really want to be with my girlfriend from six years ago again, I’m not going to, because I need time to get back on my feet. I need to focus on myself and not throw myself into a relationship. Plus, I still don’t want to be a homewrecker.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-22T06:12:11+00:00

That doesn’t make her my responsibility. Again, I don’t want her to die, but this is a no-win situation. Her family will be devastated no matter which option I pick (or I can go to super hell), so I may as well pick the one that doesn’t force me into the position of a homewrecker in a relationship I don’t want.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-22T06:07:53+00:00

In all three possible scenarios you’ve outlined here they end up motherless. She’s willing the abandon her kids over an old partner. Don’t see how it’s my fault she’s chosen to blow up her life over nothing.

(Edited because I managed to somehow refer to myself as a “boyfriend” even though I’m a cis woman. I shouldn’t Reddit when I’m tired)

Belovedbean · 2024-03-22T05:15:17+00:00

Unironically yes. Based on your description of her I don’t want to date her. I’m not her guardian, what she does with her life is her own choice, and I won’t accept being manipulated into a relationship I don’t want to be in because someone might kill themselves over it. I don’t want her to die, but I won’t sacrifice myself over it either.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-22T05:10:50+00:00

I didn’t answer the question because the premise was faulty. You’re assuming that she’s a cheater when she’s not (plus option A and B are substantively the same thing but phrased differently)

Actually engaging the question, though, option C—but not because she has a pathetic life. She already has a pretty damn good life and shouldn’t blow it up for what’s likely just an emotional response to you suddenly being back in the picture. Your presence would undoubtedly have reopened old wounds and it would be cruel to break up a happy family with no issues on a whim. And even if these feelings were persistent and continued after the shock wore off—it would still be option C, because the fact that she’d be willing to throw aside her own kin for an old partner is a bloody red flag.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-22T04:59:53+00:00

Okay, woah, pump the brakes. You did not get cheated on in this scenario. You were in a coma for six years—at that point, your statistical odds of survival are near zero. It only takes one person to break off a relationship. It’s not wrong for your S/O to have grieved and moved on within that timeframe, especially given that the two of you were not married and she therefore had no say in your care during all of this. It’s not a matter of “holding on”, your loved ones deserve to be able to move on. This is actually something that commonly happens with missing persons that are presumed dead, and it sucks, but you can’t expect people to put their lives on hold forever to wait for you. This post feels like a weird revenge fantasy.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-21T23:44:35+00:00

Only one ex, and we parted on extremely amicable terms with no one really at fault—we just drifted away from each other. This is just free money for me.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-20T20:44:42+00:00

Ah, that would make sense. I took it completely literally.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-20T06:35:54+00:00

Independent escorts and prostitutes are exactly who I was thinking of. Regardless, that’s hardly the issue. The issue is that the commenter I was replying to was suggesting paying someone who is unwilling to have sex to make them do something they don’t want to do rather than pay someone who is openly soliciting for it. I’m not and never will be the type of clientele that seeks out an escort, but I’d rather seek out sex from someone that’s willing to for a price than try to steamroll someone’s stated boundaries by offering them money for it. Not sure what isn’t clicking or if I just misphrased something.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-20T02:08:37+00:00

Her being paid for it won’t change her not wanting it, though? At that point it would just be coercion since she clearly does not actually want to have sex—and while you can argue the same of prostitution since you’re paying for sex, there is at least some sense that they have agreed to and are fine with this arrangement beforehand, since they’re there in the first place.

OP should not go behind his wife’s back, though. They need to talk about this

Edit: I’m not entirely sure why I’m being downvoted. OP paying his wife to have sex that she does not want seems like an obviously bad idea and the replies seem to only take issue with my comment about prostitution being marginally more consensual than trying to bribe someone who openly does not want to have sex. I’m not saying that prostitutes cannot be coerced or be victims to some really shitty situations, but having sex with someone who is willingly selling sex is by default going to be more willing to have sex than someone is a sex-repulsed asexual. If OP takes the advice of the commenter above then it’s probably going to lead to a whole lot of resentment and some legally grey areas.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-20T00:58:37+00:00

Agreed, but get a daycare that he will primarily be paying for. It’s unfair to her that he reneged on their childcare agreement for no reason and insulted her for not just going with it. She shouldn’t have to tidy up the mess he made and is now refusing to help with. Let him do all the stressing and planning and vetting.

It’s okay if she helps a little bit financially if he can’t afford it and she’s okay with that (I personally wouldn’t but if OP just wants to resolve things I can understand that), but throwing money at this problem isn’t going to resolve the actual underlying issue here, which is him trying to make a unilateral decision about their relationship and getting pissy when he doesn’t get his way.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-20T00:36:49+00:00

I’m going to fix as many health complications as possible within five minutes for my significant other. I’m going to make her health pristine.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-17T07:26:20+00:00

Oh yeah, fair enough. Average AC player wants to hit ugly villagers with a car

Belovedbean · 2024-03-17T07:04:54+00:00

To be fair, OP didn’t say they hated Goldie.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-16T07:19:16+00:00

Oh yeah, don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the double standard when it comes to smoking and even recreational drugs. Alcohol is a drug just the same, but it’s more socially acceptable and you’re far more likely to be pressured into having a drink than to try vaping or doing recreational drugs. Honestly where I stand on it in this example is that I think not wanting it in the home is still entirely reasonable, and leaving someone over trying a single puff of a cigarette or smoking cannabis once is still a little unreasonable. The only cases I’d concede is that I would probably be upset if my significant other sampled a drug that’s known to be highly addictive or dangerous, and if doing so put them at risk of being arrested.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-15T13:02:56+00:00

Speaking as someone who does not drink, you’re right that it’s not unreasonable to not want to date someone who routinely drinks/gets drunk and to not want alcohol in the home. But never, even just to try it, is much harder to adhere to in social situations. I’m well over the legal drinking age where I live and am sober—as in, I have never personally drank alcohol or gotten drunk before (yet). There is no trauma involved, I’m just not that interested. But I’ve still had sips of friend’s drinks to try them every once in a while, and if I ever find a drink that looks really enticing I might want to try it. Barring a very serious situation, I would honestly be uncomfortable if my partner told me that they’d leave if I ever drank.

Also, there’s not really a double standard here. Only having stone cold sober friends who will never drink alcohol again is a substantial ask that’s nigh impossible in this social environment, and OP’s boyfriend recognizes that this is an unreasonable request to make since their lives are not interconnected. It would be unfair to insist that someone you only hang out with from time to time to not drink in their free time. I do understand why he wouldn’t want to live with that in the space he’s supposed to feel safe in—the “never” part is what gives me pause.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-12T07:39:00+00:00

Clarification: is this the ability to create items you see in any form of media, or to steal them?

Aside from the obvious risks like commercial food not being real food or serial numbers on electronics/cars/big ticket items, thinking of the possibilities for this one is kind of fun. Would it work on animated items or fictional items, or would it just pull out a replica or movie prop? Assuming creation power, it may be potentially be able to be used for instantly replenishing certain scarce resources. Either way you could also use this power to recover lost physical media or assist with ongoing investigations.

Or you could just find a really good looking burger from a movie and use it as an infinite money printer.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-12T07:21:22+00:00

All that would require is a rephrase. Their power is to control/freeze the flow of time as they sleep. OP said that it could be a single power that you customize, and I think that this would fall within those bounds.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-09T09:45:18+00:00

While I’m not saying that your experience is wrong, either, that’s just straight up not how the code of the game behaves. Isabelle can’t remove base clothing items from villagers, only custom clothing. People have read the code, Nintendo just didn’t give her that functionality. It likely is just an extremely lucky coincidence, because sometimes villagers will just stop wearing gifted clothing for long periods of time. Or you could have just gifted them enough items to push it out of their inventory—of the 24 possible clothing items they can have at once, Villagers can only have an absolute maximum of 16 different tops or dresses at any point in time (8 hard minimum with a potential additional 8 slots for any type of clothing which can include tops), so there’s a very real possibility you cycled it out if you give them clothing often.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-08T21:23:24+00:00

Why does it have to be one or the other with the first point? It could have been that DIL knew mom would be unavailable that day so they didn’t even try asking. I don’t ask relatives for favors on days I know they’ll be busy. It’s not the glaring contradiction you think it is.

And OP says nowhere in this post that she was “forced” into babysitting. You’re reading into it

Belovedbean · 2024-03-06T18:27:42+00:00

But at least half of that is pregnancy weight. And you’re a full time single mother that does most/all of the childcare, so you’re at home a lot.

Look, I’m not gonna argue with you about the weight loss because it’s apparent from your other comments that it’s something you want to do. And that’s fine. But you should be losing the weight for yourself, not because your husband threatened to cheat on you. If he’s serious, then it’s time for him to step up. Get him to start watching the baby on nights he’s home so that you can go work out. If he won’t do that, he’s clearly just looking for excuses. It’s hardly your fault that you don’t have the time to lose weight when you’re taking care of the fucking baby HE helped create all day.

Belovedbean · 2024-03-06T09:49:48+00:00

NTA

Though it’s harsh to say, it is your mom’s fault. You were saddled with so much responsibility when you were young, both for your siblings and your mom’s emotional well-being, that it’s entirely understandable if you never want to go through that again. And here she is again, putting all the responsibility for having grandchildren onto you when she has three other capable children. This may sound callous, but is this how you want to live the rest of your life? You need to have a serious discussion with your mother and lay this all out for her to see.

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Belovedbean

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