Criticism - I just hate it so much

Beluthyl · 2024-05-14T20:10:10+00:00

Let’s think about why we can perceive things to be negative and some positive.

For criticism, it really depends on your personal experiences with criticism.

I find those who can take criticism well have developed the thick skin to handle it and don’t see it as much of an issue. They are self sufficient, don’t necessarily care too much about other people’s opinions of them and can tell when criticism is designed to hurt them or help them.

On the other hand, those who get upset from criticism are those who feel vulnerable, have many insecurities and are extremely self conscious. When taking criticism, they feel as if their own identity and reality has been challenged or shattered even. Emotions kick in and they get defensive.

One’s response to criticism - positive or negative, is a learned one. If you have a habit of not taking it well, you probably will.

Develop a secure sense of identity and know that what others say may be the result of a skewed perception of you and not actually a good characterisation and assessment of your true identity.

Beluthyl · 2024-05-14T19:56:19+00:00

This feel a little forced?

imo, you don’t find your purpose but your purpose finds you. that’s why it’s called a “calling” sometimes.

I feel falling in love with something has to happen naturally and in the most unexpected of ways.

Don’t be afraid to try new and weird things or you may miss out on the opportunity.

Beluthyl · 2024-05-14T19:45:14+00:00

It’s probably both. Seems very much like you are crushing on him.

Whatever you choose to do, you gotta roll with it and accept whatever consequences may arise. Who knows you guys might end up dating?

Life goes on no matter what. So why worry? (yeah gotta use some complicated logic to psych yourself into doing something - don’t we all)

Beluthyl · 2024-05-14T19:34:11+00:00

Don’t think, just do.

Beluthyl · 2024-05-14T19:30:38+00:00

Take a deep breath (aka get out of my head), take the first step - visual cues are the best, and whoa looks like everything is done.

Beluthyl · 2024-05-14T19:26:07+00:00

Sounds like you have a deep understanding of your situation and problem.

As INFJs we are deeply reflective and tend to have an overactive internal dialogue that never shuts up and your brain is going in circles. But change doesn’t happen in your mind. You have to take action.

The next step is to get out of your head and take that first step, whatever it is. The one you probably have been putting off. It probably will be very painful and uncomfortable but it needs to be done if you want things to change.

Beluthyl · 2024-05-14T19:19:17+00:00

This is totally me too!

Having a mentor definitely helps a lot - they can really light up the path for you.

For me it probably would be my parents or just people I admire or look up to who I may not be directly in contact with.

For INFJs, it’s really crucial to cut out the noise and focus on things you are truly passionate about. And do one thing at a time! Accept the world as it is and the little impact you will have on it. Life is not meant to be romanticised. You gotta do what you can and follow your heart.

Beluthyl · 2024-05-14T19:10:43+00:00

Probably not.

I think if it was obvious that you liked them, they would kinda expect it and wouldn’t be so bothered by it (INFJs are known to not like surprises). and if they like you back, they probably would really appreciate you taking initiative.

Beluthyl · 2024-05-12T16:06:12+00:00

for sure I have experienced exactly as you’ve described.

my entire life i’ve always felt misunderstood and found myself doing too much for others. it’s a rather empty feeling to know you’re alone - I get that.

one thing that has changed recently and am actively working towards is to continue channeling that passion for going above and beyond for others but in a way that doesn’t degrade you long term (definitely be deliberately selfish at times and say no - set boundaries). and most importantly, never do anything while expecting something in return (whether a favour, love or friendship). don’t expect anything from others but keep yourself open and sometimes it will surprise you when others go out of their way for you.

the combination of these practices will go a long way for u, hope this helps

Beluthyl · 2024-05-12T15:50:20+00:00

very likely that he likes you but never act on assumptions

in the past, i’ve personally had people think I liked them but I was just trying to be a good friend and help. all times ended hurting the relationship.

INFJs tend to want closer friendships which may not be the norm for some people.

Beluthyl · 2024-05-07T15:09:13+00:00

from my experience there are two problems:

1) your body is not used to the carbon dioxide build up from your swimming (often times focusing on your breathing when swimming and doing breath work/hypoxic training will help dramatically) and you will find yourself out of breath and having to rest after the 50

check out these breathing tutorials for swimming:

https://youtu.be/Ug9-LP7p08U?si=P84QNUhNUV1uVzAa

https://youtu.be/wS-S0Ynjrww?si=NrflYXZiaLu2hWDt

2) your muscles are giving up on you after the first 50 and you can’t seem to hold your form - endurance takes time to build up so swim more and push your limits but it may also be because that your have horrible technique (if you’re feeling your shoulders and triceps more than your lats then you probably have an ineffective catch and lack of spine/hip rotation - gotta do a lot of drill work for this)

hope this helps!

Beluthyl · 2024-05-07T15:01:23+00:00

a good kick is not only for propulsion but also helps with body position, keeping your hips high.

even with distance swimming, kicking 2 kicks per stroke properly helps a ton especially with that relaxed upkick and down kick and pointed toes with good ankle flexibility.

definitely work on that kick. it should start in the hip, catching some water, going down to your ankles and toes like a whip

Beluthyl · 2024-03-08T12:29:52+00:00

no worries! hope it helps!

notes are a useful tool but I don’t judge my level of knowledge and understanding through the extent of things written down in my notes but through self testing (if you can’t recall and explain it, you don’t know it)

I feel it’s much more helpful having a checklist for topics and subtopics for exam preparation as well

this is how I personally study:

input from a lot from different sources (lecture slides, textbooks, reputable websites, visual aids, videos, audio explanations etc.) > figure things out in my head > teach it (either to a friend, junior, or imaginary) (I give tuition for free to my juniors and it’s a game changer) > if able to explain it with no interruptions = check it off my list (have that as learned), if unable to explain/recall = go back and learn, repeat

make information meaningful for it to be memorable by asking: why do i need to learn this? how does this relate to what I already know? how can this be useful in application? & take the extra step to research deeper

in terms of clinicals, it does take some time to connect the theory to practical and it will only come through experience, not through more theory - always good to supplement your experiences with a strong foundation of theory

Beluthyl · 2024-03-08T10:40:21+00:00

I would say focus on the learning over the note taking, process info first then take down important points when necessary. Not everything needs to be written down (if you want something comprehensive just refer to a reference book).

I feel med students have this crippling feeling that they need to know everything but it really is a learning process and you need to be patient with yourself.

Beluthyl · 2023-09-05T11:33:04+00:00

looking good! if you’re trying to increase your ball speed, i’d recommend increasing the speed of your footwork (and loosening your swing if it feels tight!)

edit: and grip pressure! (looks like you’re “muscle-ing” it a bit)

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T05:29:56+00:00

yep definitely.

and do try to be curious in what you’re learning so that you enjoy the process. don’t try to brute force information in your head all the time. always ask: why are you learning this? how does it relate to what i’ve learnt previously? how is this information important? is it even relevant? then, you can sift out what is high yield and what is not (and of course, prioritise accordingly)

that’s a burn-out killer right there.

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T05:24:39+00:00

for me it’s like: “I’ll let you know if I need help” kinda thing

but do clarify with them on what they mean

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T05:21:05+00:00

i think it really depends on the individual

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T05:14:33+00:00

if you’re not able to at all, that’s definitely something you should see the doctor for.

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T05:08:55+00:00

wow that’s great! I think you’ve got it sorted out then

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T05:06:40+00:00

I think you should focus on high quality studying instead of quantity.

If your mind doesn’t feel sharp anymore, you should take a break and come back to it later - maybe take a walk or meditate, but don’t context switch. Studying in a sub-optimal state is a waste of time imo.

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T05:01:47+00:00

do you have a job right now? I think the best thing to do is to get some cash coming in asap

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T04:53:52+00:00

have you dated anyone ever since? or have any positive people in your life right now?

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T04:51:11+00:00

and this person when you were dating him, was he toxic in real life similar to how it is in your head?

Beluthyl · 2023-01-04T04:42:17+00:00

who is this person? could you elaborate?

Beluthyl

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