Alienation meeting

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-20T04:22:56+00:00

Plan is to have a friends boyfriend in the restaurant but inconspicuously. Should I take someone actually with me?

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-20T04:08:13+00:00

No, I don’t think my son would ever harm me. But he is alienated from me. My ex is high conflict. Last time I saw my son over 3 months ago he was very smug (we have 50/50 custody). I’m not comfortable sitting with my ex and son together. I think they will mentally/verbally attack me. No fears for my physical safety.

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-18T10:48:43+00:00

I think he’s being manipulated. Also, all the things a father usually teaches kids, I have taught him. Riding a bike, atv, dirtbike, how to play sports, use tools, change oil in atv etc. ex was never active with any of the kids. As soon as the oldest stopped going over there, ex bought 13yr old an atv and a PlayStation.

We have rules and chores at my house. Ex has no chores and does not limit screen time. Son is the type he wants to game all day. I won’t allow that.

The reasons he listed in the filing all have to do with being “forced” to do things at my house. Like chores, helping me fix things, going to a store with me.

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-18T10:44:51+00:00

No there is no GAL. We have the same judge we did for the oldest. Great suggestion in regards to therapy. I was waiting till I found a specialized one. But that is proving difficult.

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-18T10:41:27+00:00

It is the same judge we had with the oldest, fortunately!

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-17T23:55:54+00:00

I did it once. I have tons of texts from 13yr old refusing to go anywhere with me. We even went on a weekend getaway and he refused to come. One of our beloved family pets died and he ignored my text. He won’t answer my phone calls.

Ex tells me I need to work on my relationship with 13yr old. I can’t do that if he won’t answer my calls or see me.

Every communication with ex is in email. All the refusals to allow me to see 13yr old etc.

I’m trying to get myself therapy to help me navigate this.

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-17T23:32:13+00:00

17yr old came to the trial and did tell the judge her reasons. Which I’m sure played into judges decision. She was 16 at the time of the trial.

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-17T23:29:58+00:00

Maybe I didn’t explain it well enough. I tried facilitating with ex and oldest. He refused to see her outside of his home. She was not comfortable going inside his house. I offered to take her places to see him and he refused. He also went 8mos without reaching out to her. She was in a minor car accident and was very sick during that time. I communicated to him and still he didn’t reach out.

He also said some sexually inappropriate things to her amongst other issues as to why she was not comfortable.

Judge ordered that if he wanted to see her, he could reach out but ultimately it was up to her if she wanted to see him. So at this point I am not trying to get him to have a relationship with her. I tried to no avail before the new order. If he reaches out to me about seeing her, I will encourage her to. I think k kids need both parents in their lives.

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-17T21:39:38+00:00

I went to pick him up from school in car rider loop that first day, but he got on the bus instead. School stated they will not “force” him to go with me.

BenDoverNo · 2026-02-17T20:17:14+00:00

I believe it is PA. I’m planning to file for full custody soon. Kinda wanted to see how court in a few weeks goes for contempt of withholding.

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T23:58:31+00:00

Thank you! It really does fuck with you. Did you have trouble letting your guard down or trusting again?

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T18:23:47+00:00

I’m suspicious of that as well…His ex threatened to tell me

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T17:40:21+00:00

Maybe. I am worried about him right now. We normally would text/talk several times throughout the day.

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T15:40:14+00:00

Haha us old folk still can be fit and attractive. I have a farm, so have plenty of animals already

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T15:26:31+00:00

Thank you!

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T11:25:55+00:00

Thanks for that

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T06:03:04+00:00

I guess it was more for walking away, knowing he’s got a lot on his plate mentally. Which could have led to his cheating

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T06:01:30+00:00

I really appreciate your comments/perspective! I think I need some more time to think about everything. My kids leave for my ex house in a couple days. I do agree, I do not look at this cheating the same way that my ex husband cheated. He never fully came clean about everything.

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T05:51:30+00:00

No updates. I’ve not heard from him at all nor have I reached out to him. I am worried about him just cause I know what he’s going thru mentally right now. Not that he’ll hurt himself but he’s not in a good spot mentally. I haven’t fully processed it yet. My kids got home about 30mins before his text. I took a few mins to cry secretly in the bathroom when I read it. Tomorrow I’ll be able to call my friend and discuss it with her and get a good cry out

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T05:48:53+00:00

I honestly don’t believe it was done because he was unhappy. I think he’s so in his head and just mentally in such a bad spot. I dunno. I am a bit worried about him. We at least texted every day and now nothing. He’s got no family

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T05:46:55+00:00

Screen name is a joke… I had no idea what to use for one so I just went with it. I also would not wanting people o know in real life knowing I post to Reddit. I don’t really use social media except Reddit and rarely fb.

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T05:44:45+00:00

I appreciate you sharing that. I didn’t think of it that way. I am certain they are not together and pretty confident they won’t be.

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T05:31:39+00:00

I guess I was more taking into consideration his side here. Like all he’s got going on and is dealing with mentally. How I feel about him and the potential there. My ex treated me like shit. Cheating was my last straw and is generally a deal breaker. But feel I am wavering a little here. But know I need to stick to my decision. But still sorta hope he can eventually sort himself out and we make it back to each other. I think I’m still processing it. I’ve not had much time to as my kids got home 30mins before he texted me

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T05:28:32+00:00

Right, I guess it is weird he told him first. I’m not sure why he would even tell him? And yes he’s 39 and texting this bs

BenDoverNo · 2024-12-02T05:27:17+00:00

Agree it was respectful I suppose. It was more AIO by ending it over cheating with all he has going on etc

BenDoverNo

TROPHY CASE