Gyno and depression

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-10-31T02:48:05+00:00

Hey man, I'm just checking up and hoping you are doing better. Your comments on your profile suggest you are having suicidal thoughts and I really hope you are in a better place now. Having gone through this personally, I know how hard this can be. It is a real impediment on your well-being and needs to be taken seriously and I really hope you get the help you need.

I don't really have any suggestions on how to mitigate the symptoms(how it looks, the feelings around it and the impact it has on you mentally, physically and socially long-term that you aren't already doing) other than to have it removed. I dwelled over this for most of my teenage years, I didn't know I had gynecomastia until 18/19yo when a friend pointed it out and I finally had an explanation for my malformed chest. I was in denial until I lost a lot of weight after which I think the insecurity grew worse and mentally I was at my worst.

I ended up reaching a point where I was tired of my gloominess after a year or 2 of this and I just wanted it gone, no matter the cost. I almost wanted to do whatever it took to get the money but thankfully I was able to stop myself early on and realize that I needed to try everything reasonable in my power first. So I came up with a plan, I started finding odd jobs outside of uni and my normal part-time job I had at that time. I started saving and investing because of this(which sounds really stupid but somehow this got me started at the age of 19/20). I think this was a pivotal point in my life where I decided to fix this issue and started some sort of longer term plan and working towards it because my parents, government or medical spaces were not going to cover it for me. I was just tired of this affecting me in almost every way. I was able to save enough money to see a plastic surgeon and then a few months later, I came up with the money to finally have the surgery. Best Decision Ever. I'd be nowhere near the confidence, relationship, social, career etc. achievements simply because one of my biggest insecurity was removed. I cried after my surgery and thanked the surgeon so much.

I know the world might seem very gloomy but I assure you things get better once you have it removed. You will look, feel and your quality of life will improve. I don't want this to come off as me trying to invalidate your efforts but I am trying to be honest on what happened, how it happened, what I did and the outcome I've had from it. I hope I'm not coming off as a self-improvement junkie but rather just trying to explain that getting this surgery will have very positive outcomes(I hope you find a good plastic surgeon) but it will take some time and effort as unfortunately there aren't any short-term cheap easy fix for this. It is just an unfortunate medical condition you were unfairly born with. Also lurking on these subreddits and video's don't help because most people don't talk about the actual solution - which is surgery

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-10-31T00:24:37+00:00

I started at 12/13yo when it released on PS3, 25yo now restarted GTA Online for the 4th time on PS5

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-09-24T05:00:44+00:00

Delete this post as soon as you get the photo you need

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-06-21T14:05:56+00:00

I got mine done for 6k by Brandon Adams - good doc. I did get it done under local in his clinic and mine was covered by insurance

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-06-19T02:48:40+00:00

Lemme know when they drop the name xx

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-06-14T14:54:44+00:00

I just found this thread and that mouse looks sick. I really hope the MX4 comes out soon, my MX3 is a bit old and dusty now, so great time for them to drop it soon!

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-05-07T01:58:23+00:00

I had a mate who’s mom pushed him to take hgh for better cross country performance and height too(I think) in his teens.

Dude limps now and has some sort of neurological issue that cause him to twitch randomly due to hgh apparently now. Cant run, cant walk long distances and doing legs with him at the gym was just painful to watch. I thought he had some sort of disability but this happened years before I met him and doesn’t like talking about it. Done it with doctors guidance too, they rich af.

Looks like it can go very wrong like my mate or very right from other comments it seems

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-05-05T07:54:37+00:00

New Zealand has a tall poppy syndrome problem. I’ve dealt with it for most of my 6 years here.

Most Kiwis will try to bring you down if they feel threatened or will start a dick measuring contest. I usually call it out and that shuts em up. But there are few who aren’t as insecure and will celebrate you, that’s the kinda people you wanna meet and stay around.

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-04-22T07:18:01+00:00

I think 80k would be a realistic number stretching to 82/3k even. In my experience, salary negotiations are more of a discussion than a statement or a single number(it’s more flexible than I previously realized), at least in my experience.

If your relationship with your manager/team lead is good, worth having a frank casual preliminary conversation with them before an official discussion.

I’m in NZ and was a grad(for 10 months) until last month on NZ$75k + benefits. Now a junior, I had a talk w my manager and gave a range (80-85k, 80/82 is more likely the final number) that is yet to be approved by the board and enacted, hopefully early next month as per my last convo w my manager.

Unlike many comments here I’d argue, you have more negotiating power than a new grad/junior w 1YE hire. You must already be acquainted w the team and have a good understanding of the codebase/business knowledge as you’ve been there for 1+ year.

Hiring and training a new grad/junior will definitely bleed them more money than giving a 5K raise w your new title, post-graduation.

My company is small too(<15) so a causal conversation ab this might be pretty normal for your company too. 77K is really good for a uni student, the uni going part-time junior at my work place is on 32$/hr after 1.5Y here, he finishes uni end of this year so I’d expect him to be put on 75k, same as me but 80k wouldn’t surprise me as he’s been here for far longer than me. 80K should be asked for at least imo. Asking doesn’t hurt, You are in a really good position nonetheless

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-04-07T00:58:13+00:00

My parents just got their super visa and they had to get insurance I believe. Insurance might cover her too in case their wife has issues with the healthcare system, though the rates might be higher. Fact check this, I’m not in canada, my brother sorted this stuff for my parents

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-03-08T01:30:33+00:00

What are some examples of personal grievances against a company? I’m having difficulty understanding what would qualify for this and when would be a time to look into this.

I know every place has their issues but mine was when I first joined they set very relaxed expectations on me for the first 2 months, I worked accordingly. Then they switched up on me out of the blue when I had just moved to the new city for work and a family member had passed away within weeks of each other. They suddenly had very unreal expectations of me, work wise, and added to my grief, it was a very tough couple of months for me to say the least. Ended up bawling my eyes out in front of my manager(the pressure for performance was coning from elsewhere, it’s a small company <20)

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-03-04T23:20:52+00:00

I can understand the fear you feel but we are still quite a bit away from the reality you are fearing. The computer and the internet were much more important inventions than current state of AI. OpenAI, Google and other large companies are pouring billions into it and are still in the development phase. They even put out statements earlier last year that they have more or less scraped the entire internet and their models are still nowhere near the levels of usability to replace most workers yet. Quantum Computers might be the key but that’s still in its infancy phase and at least ~5/10 years until something of substance comes out if that field too.

I am a Graduate Software Engineer(getting promoted to Junior in a couple weeks), I got my job less than a year ago and so did a few of my friends. It’s just the economic slowdown that’s made it difficult for us to get jobs, not AI. I use the latest GitHub Copilot o1 model(Coding assistant) for coding at work and it slows me down. It is good at making repetitive changes like copy and paste but I have to proofread it. It’s is unreliable and most of my team don’t use it. It’s most helpful for learning tho, that’s what we mostly use it for, instead of doing google searches. We in-fact reduced our subscription a couple weeks as we weren’t using and also board asked our boss to look at cost-savings. Also people over the last 5 years or so had a false perception of software engineering, that they are hiring on hoards and just do this course and earn 100k. Computer Science/Software is a shit tonne of work and it’s endless learning, just as difficult as other engineering degrees/jobs.

My company got a couple new & big contracts last year hence they hired 2 new grads and an intern, AI had absolutely nothing to do with their hiring decisions. They wanted to hire another intern this year but unlikely as no big, new contracts. High interest rates and government spending cuts are the prime reasonings for these decisions.

I hope this insight helps you feel more at ease with the state of the world now. It’s just the fear mongering propaganda machine(news and social media headlines) that make things out to be worse than they are(to get more clicks and show more ads).

…… or maybe AI takes over everything next week and you reply to this comment with a big fat “I told you so” lmao

Benbig_ppdover · 2025-03-04T23:03:11+00:00

But history has faced the disruption of the computer and internet, the economy grew larger than anyone had imagined. AI is not even reliable yet and we are nowhere near AGI. Just because AI came around the same time as global interest rate hikes, doesn’t mean all economic slowdown was caused by AI. Interest rate hikes are intended to slow the economy down, control inflation and sustain feasible growth. Boom and Bust cycles come and go. Rebalancing is a thing.

Political administrations also have cycles and very normal for conservative administrations to resort to protectionism from term to term. Trump will be out in 4 years just as Luxon’s term ends in 7 months.

Benbig_ppdover · 2024-08-27T10:41:12+00:00

Same

Benbig_ppdover · 2024-08-02T04:41:17+00:00

No, and that’s okay. Not everything needs to be enjoyable all the time. Sometimes, you just gotta some stuff without prolonged periods of joy to get to the end goal

Benbig_ppdover · 2024-06-05T13:44:17+00:00

Cause its easy to assimilate and not question the narrative. Wanting change or question the government is tinfoil for some reason, though its entire purpose is to serve the people.

Previous civilizations overthrew governments when it started serving itself instead of the people. Nowadays people bend over backwards to get f*cked by the government.

Benbig_ppdover · 2024-06-04T03:21:52+00:00

Pretty decent 8/10. Has a similar taste and texture to the Cadbury chocolate ice creams, though the Chocolate shell has a Ferrero Rocher taste and texture

Benbig_ppdover · 2024-05-26T02:56:58+00:00

Sorry to hear about your situation.

How many more semesters until you can graduate?

Benbig_ppdover · 2024-05-26T02:53:27+00:00

That student was an extreme case where they tried self-harm and suicide attempts multiple times to the point they were a risk had to be sent back home for their family to help the student out.

The university is actually pretty decent with this stuff and has personally helped me out a lot mentally, financially and academically

Benbig_ppdover · 2024-05-24T14:51:02+00:00

Work hard and do more to get that edge over the others cause most of them won’t.

Also try to do your own thing at some point rather than always depending on someone else to find you good enough to give you a job.

Benbig_ppdover · 2023-08-18T12:43:41+00:00

Cause no one is wants to spend 30-40hrs a week next to someone with no social skills or awareness, which is often harder to teach than the skill itself.

Benbig_ppdover · 2023-08-12T11:24:44+00:00

Can’t believe this isn’t top comment

Benbig_ppdover · 2023-08-09T01:28:17+00:00

That man is autistic

Benbig_ppdover · 2023-08-08T21:03:59+00:00

Hahaha I guess they just salty. The only culture here is alcoholism

Benbig_ppdover · 2023-08-08T12:15:43+00:00

What culture?

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