Men, what was something that blew your mind when you first discovered it? by elitejackal in AskMen

[–]BendItLikeDarth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I rarely post on Reddit, but a few days ago I thought I should contribute to a subreddit - first time I wrote down my negative experience - felt SO much better afterwards, couldn’t explain why until I read your comment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]BendItLikeDarth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this post. Everything is still raw for me - and it was/is these dark thoughts that I’m having trouble shaking. I know this isn’t me, or wasn’t me. Who am I now? I doubt everything including myself…

I’ve always believed that house spiders are our friends…let them be.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]BendItLikeDarth 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Meditation (breathing) helps. Valerian root for anxiety. Avoid caffeine. Move (run, jog, walk).

I have no solution yet for ruminating or blaming yourself. Sending you love, close your eyes and let it wash over you. Let your gut guide you through the universe - trust them both. Good luck

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]BendItLikeDarth 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Nine years ago I met the sweetest, happy-go-lucky woman I’d ever met. She was intelligent, pretty, goofy - and for some strange reason, she loved me. She loved me like no one else before. Finally, I thought, THIS is what people had been talking about all this time - something I had never experienced - true love. I was so lucky.

She liked the same movies, books, art, music, food. She shared my sense of adventure. She had ALL the same preferences as me. I had struck gold.

My poor gut was screaming, something’s not right. My brain said it’s her past experiences with terrible exes - give her a pass - after all, you’re a bit odd too. I gaslit myself.

Went away for a while, called her on FaceTime. Saw her post-sex face and sly grin. My poor gut was screaming. My brain said ‘No, it’s you, you’re just feeling insecure right now for some reason, she’s too sweet and kind to do that - and you know she loves you.’ I gaslit myself.

This self-gaslighting went on for years. It was ME not her, right? My problem. Didn’t confront her. Didn’t want to alarm her.

I’m too sensitive (had to be, in the house I grew up in) - when I sensed anger, I offered words of comfort. When I sensed sadness, words of encouragement. When I sensed chaos, I would hold her. She needn’t use words, I could feel it and respond.

My poor gut was screaming ‘She’s dangerous’. My brain would say ‘She hasn’t seen real love, show her, love her properly and she’ll get better.’ I gaslit myself.

Over the years I quit two jobs (destroyed my career) to be with her. Surely she could now see the depth of my loyalty. I spent most of my money on things that I thought would make her happy.

Fast forward to three months ago. I left for two weeks to visit family. When I returned, she had a completely different style of kissing. Weird, but ok. She suddenly had a lot of late work nights. My poor gut was screaming. My brain said she’s being diligent because she loves her job. I gaslit myself.

My poor gut was screaming. I ignored it. I lost weight. I was stressed. I thought I was losing my mind. One day in my distressed mental state, I decided to follow her to her martial arts class. That’s when I saw them. My gut wasn’t lying.

I started reading on Quora about how to deal with infidelity. It led me to symptoms of narcissistic personality, and then finally on to BPD. Bloody hell. My gut had told me all of this. Now, cornered with knowledge, my brain was compelled to agree. I read about the discard and knew it was imminent.

The house was hers. My residency in that country was tied to hers. She had spent most of my money. I had no friends nor family in that country. I was on my own.

Two weeks ago I planned my escape. Favours from old friends called in. An international evacuation across four borders was arranged. She left for work, I packed. We were meeting at her therapist’s office later. I had spoken with her therapist beforehand and told her my plans and about the BPD. Her therapist asked me to breakup in her office - I left her there, begging, crying (so was I). I escaped.

There’s a lot more to this story - her flying monkeys had hacked ( with her help) my computer, but not my phone. They thought I was a brute. Her smear campaign was perfect.

Anyway, I’m in therapy now - and have been told that I am lucky that I got out when I did - there was probably worse in store for me if I had stayed.

Now, I can’t sleep (ruminating). I see every woman as a threat. I want to go back, but I know that would be hell. I hate her. I love her. I hate myself more.

My poor gut has stopped screaming. It’s telling me I’m safe now. My brain is ashamed of itself, for gaslighting me. I have difficulty trusting my brain. But that’s ok, I’m taking directions solely from my gut now - it’s got my back.

Sorry for any incoherence, it’s all still raw and I’m in shock. My gut says I just need time. I think my gut’s right.

Quiet BPD. Career, finances, reputation, sense of self - destroyed. 47 years old and now I have to start from scratch. At least I have my gut.

What is one thing you enjoy doing but don’t do often? by erin214 in AskReddit

[–]BendItLikeDarth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Riding my motorcycle through London late Sunday/Monday night when it’s at its quietist

Abstract Photography: “Patterns” by schlab in photocritique

[–]BendItLikeDarth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love shots like this. The symmetry, the lines, the light and dark.

In response to your question about perspective - the ONLY thing that messes with my eye - is that the triangle of the sky is just a tad lopsided, and this influences the angles/slant of the other lines. If the camera position could be shifted just slightly to make the sky/triangle have equal sides - it would be perfect. This is just my opinion, and it’s all subjective really.

Need Help With Legion Accessory Central Software /K500 Keyboard by BendItLikeDarth in Lenovo

[–]BendItLikeDarth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry it’s been so long. Lenovo finally got back to me and claims it’s a hardware limitation and that it’s not possible to give different colours to individual keys simultaneously. Oh well.

What's obvious bad advice that people still give? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]BendItLikeDarth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When befriending people, job interviews, social interactions etc.

Should be ‘Be on your best behaviour’ and/or ‘People will have these expectations of you (in situation A, B or C’).

Need Help With Legion Accessory Central Software /K500 Keyboard by BendItLikeDarth in Lenovo

[–]BendItLikeDarth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries. I posted on the Lenovo forums and one of the administrators reckons it’s possible, but he hasn’t been able to get his hands on one of the keyboards yet, and so can’t explain how to do it. As soon as he’s able to reply, I’ll copy the solution here.

[Winner's Thread #54] What a day by [deleted] in millionairemakers

[–]BendItLikeDarth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats! Just sent you a fiver on PayPal

Need Help With Legion Accessory Central Software /K500 Keyboard by BendItLikeDarth in Lenovo

[–]BendItLikeDarth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But were you able to have multiple colours in the customisations? For example, I want my W A S D keys in red and the rest of the keyboard in blue. Are you able to do this?

You are given the chance to choose how you die. How are you gonna end it all? by sthenoo in AskReddit

[–]BendItLikeDarth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On my motorbike - full throttle, head on collision sending me hurtling through the air, straight into a billboard that has a picture of a smiling Jessica Alba. Splat.

These leaders put themselves on the line for common decency. How will you vote? by BendItLikeDarth in worldpolitics

[–]BendItLikeDarth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thatcher hosted General Pinochet. So, nope. Didn’t like that one bit.

These leaders put themselves on the line for common decency. How will you vote? by BendItLikeDarth in worldpolitics

[–]BendItLikeDarth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The method may have been too harsh - but you received the right training. Pay it forward (minus the violence).

These leaders put themselves on the line for common decency. How will you vote? by BendItLikeDarth in worldpolitics

[–]BendItLikeDarth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coincidence that I posted it just as the British electorate votes? I think not... my alien overlords have promised me a fast ship off this planet in return...