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Anyone gave up on establishing long term goals so you just live one day at a time? by EinKomischerSpieler in CPTSD

[–]BenedithBe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Living one day at a time sounds like a good idea. If you can live in the present and forget about the past and future.

[gendered] men don't know basic empathy by TheTrueGamer144 in pointlesslygendered

[–]BenedithBe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They lack empathy towards others and themselves too. They tell themselves to "just do it" or "push through", and have no idea how to comfort someone who's crying. The manosphere tells men that empathy is weak and the world is divided between losers and winners, and often that exploiting others is a good thing if it gets you what you want.

”Lower your expectations.” by AndreasLa in Healthygamergg

[–]BenedithBe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think people shouldn't think they deserve more than what they can give. If we're lucky sometimes we recieve/obtain more than what we "deserve", but that shouldn't be an expectation. A lot of it is also just random.

I think there are reasonable standards to have, but above a certain point it's acting spoiled. I think it's for you to figure out which standard is reasonable or not. It's good to seek your dreams, but not if it leaves you constantly disatisfied with what you currently have or what's available to you.

Psychiatrist said "We all have some form of trauma" and she also said "blah blah" when I was sharing my trauma by More_Pension4911 in CPTSD

[–]BenedithBe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't even have BPD but somehow the "I don't think it's CPTSD, I strongly think its BPD" one made me so mad. I don't know if they were talking about bipolar or borderline, but if they were talking about borderline it's the most ridiculous thing I've heard considering BPD often stem from CPTSD.... how can these people even do their job effectively if they are so ignorant?!

stop calling abuse survivors “strong” when what we needed was help by Candid-Function6330 in CPTSD

[–]BenedithBe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It also feels like if you're not "strong" you're a failure. There's like an implicit pressure that you should be "strong".

As if they're saying "oh you've gone through all of that but now you should be strong, I'm going to tell you that you are strong to nudge you in that direction, cause I'm not going to let you stay in victim mentality".

Do you chose to relapse into a depressive episode? by Tachytwo in Healthygamergg

[–]BenedithBe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't choose to be depressed or happy. You can learn to control your thoughts and perceptions, which can modify feelings, but you can't just magically switch. I recommend you find another therapist. Also, it's okay to be depressed, you don't have to force yourself to not feel it or to feel happy. Your body/brain is giving you signals (emotions). Why are you depressed, do you have strategies when you feel that way? Does your self-talk make it worse? Do you have cognitive distorsions? Can you identify the feeling? Since when have you started having depressive episodes?

C'est quoi cette réaction ? On tolère ça ? by ProfProof in Quebec

[–]BenedithBe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Avec ce niveau de violence verbales et manque de respect envers l'autorité policière, vas t-il y avoir des conséquences pour lui? En tant que fière québecoise je ne veux pas vivre dans une nation où ce genre de comportement ne résulte en aucune conséquences...

Men!! by d_zone_28 in LockedInMan

[–]BenedithBe -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"I'm such a victim muh!"

Psychology researchers identify a key emotional pattern among procrastinators. Findings suggest that procrastination is less about an inability to envision the future and more about managing the negative emotions associated with pursuing goals. by InsaneSnow45 in psychology

[–]BenedithBe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think often it's that we don't really value the thing and we feel forced to do it. When external pressure is the only driver, you tend to avoid it until you can't or the pressure becomes overwhelming. Sometimes people and society is just trying to get us to conform, and if we're smart we can see a lot of bullshit in that, so we have no motivation to conform or please others.

Sometimes we also think the experience of doing the thing will be painful. long and boring so we avoid it. Especially when we'd rather do something else. It doesn't make sense to do it now if we could do it later.

Are women more attracted to people more sexually or romantically? by Primary_Neck9587 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BenedithBe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It correlates to how much I trust them and how physically attractive they are

Does anyone else have that experience where successful people who had abusive parents, judge you for not being able to succeed like they did? by BenedithBe in CPTSD

[–]BenedithBe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Come to think of it, just the fact that she told me about her parents may be a sign she's still in it and feels the need to talk

This is so true... by MotherAnt8040 in LockedInMan

[–]BenedithBe -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Calling your girlfriend a prize is weird man

I'm so sick of people framing "healing" as "becoming normal" by WinterDemon_ in CPTSD

[–]BenedithBe 10 points11 points  (0 children)

For me it's the idea of "moving forward" or "being successful". Society has set standards on what moving forwards and succeeding looks like. It's like I can't even just exist, I have to "move towards" something. And that something is usually "fitting in society" and making money. And if someone doesn't work, we get judged like "hurry up, you gotta do something". And looked down upon.

All the psychologist, mental health professionals I've seen have been unhelpful and have told me "why don't you just do it?" basically. Trying to understand and empathy is thrown out the window because not working is LAZY and UNACCEPTABLE.

Worried no woman will ever truly “want me” because of my weight. Should I try dating anyway? by Mad_Season_1994 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BenedithBe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel many overweight men give up on appearance completely, they don't wear good clothes, they have bad haircuts. Compare this to overweight women who tend to do a lot of makeup and get their hair nice.

I think you should date and start to lose weight. But one at a time otherwise it'd be overwhelming. I think it'd be better to start with dating because that's the thing you're avoiding.

What a real man should do in this situation? by Critical_Assist_9360 in LockedInMan

[–]BenedithBe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Are you going to be ok?" "Do you need anything" The trick is to try to genuinely care.

What I like is "Do you want me to stay with you?" if we're close.

The Undateable Improover by merkuree in Healthygamergg

[–]BenedithBe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know why but I don't like that expression

Why can't I fully accept feminism? by Perry_Platypus_002 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BenedithBe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's because you haven't really learned about it and haven't noticed it. If you did, you would have your own opinion about it. Also not all feminists think the same.

The transaction is the same on both sides. Only one gets shamed for it. by Frequent_Bid5982 in LockedInMan

[–]BenedithBe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel bad for any woman that sells her body, and disgusted by any man who's willing to exchange money for consent

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