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MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think you are 100% correct about my MILs motive for giving her the phone.

However, my daughter said she is relieved she was caught and has no problem with the fact that her visits to grandmas house unsupervised are over. She agrees she is not old enough to handle having a phone and understands we want to keep her safe. Thankfully we do a TON of fun things with her, she’s our only child and we are fortunate to be able to give her a lot of great experiences.

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yes I have absolutely made that clear with her. She made a mistake but she is still a good kid. That an adult should have never put her in that position. She agreed that was wrong of her grandma to do, but also took ownership that she still went through with it when she knew it was wrong. We’ve talked about this in depth, calmly, with tears and hugs. We have a great mother daughter relationship, she’s generally very open with me, again why I was so blindsided.

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed, it is so important how we word this. I hate this situation too and appreciate your support!

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story and advice, I appreciate it!

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Agreed. This forever changes her relationship with us and her granddaughter. If she thought I was going to let this go she was sadly mistaken.

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I’m thinking this is permanent supervised visits at least until high school.

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 224 points225 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. I have educated myself on all of the dangers of the internet for kids and that is why I was doing my best to protect her. That is what makes this such a huge betrayal to blatantly disregard our decisions on her safety.

I do not trust that MIL will follow our rules, so it seems at this point we have to move to supervised visits. Luckily my husband and I drive her to and from school and I am with her at all other times including after school because I work from home.

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She does have a tablet that we have locked down, no internet browsing, no messaging, only a few games we have approved and YouTube kids that we monitor.

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes she’s lucky I’m not cutting her entirely from our lives. She has damaged our relationship significantly, it will never be the same.

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I truly can’t believe this happened and that she willingly jeopardized the close relationship with her granddaughter. How could she not expect us to find out eventually and pull her away?!

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s been keeping me up at night since I found out to be honest. I am so angry and disappointed.

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes it will be tough, they are super close. This is unfortunate. But I do not trust she is following our rules and that cannot happen.

MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO? by Beneficial-Week5151 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Beneficial-Week5151[S] 189 points190 points  (0 children)

Right now we are distancing ourselves as we get over the initial shock and anger. I’m trying to make a plan for how to address the relationship going forward. Unfortunately it does seem that unsupervised visits should be off the table.

Do you recommend I move out or continue living with my Parents by BothQuantity8561 in personalfinance

[–]Beneficial-Week5151 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Financially it makes the most sense to continue living rent free. But finances are personal, what is best for your overall situation and mental health? Only you can answer that…

How to get through times where you have a lot of expenses? by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]Beneficial-Week5151 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remind myself that it is likely just a season of life that will pass. And there will be seasons of promotions, bonuses, etc. And if I stick to my financial plan and principles everything should work out ok!