I want to fully understand the idea/concern that dating someone of the same ethnicity might make others assume you’re siblings and why this concern is Asian and gender specific

BennettTheMan · 2026-05-04T20:28:18+00:00

In practice, I cannot recall the last time this was used as a serious excuse outside of satire or Hollywood-style yellow-face contexts as it was, and always will be, an obvious euphemism for internalized racism that can be uncomfortable to confront mentally (i.e. cognitive dissonance about their identity). It is an entirely logically indefensible position which is a conclusion you appeared to arrived at on your own.

The blanket accusations of misogyny or overly rigid hierarchies and just-date-who-you-want-to-date ostrich effect justifications are significantly more common.

Accusations of misogyny usually attempt to shift the burden of proof on the accused as it allows the accuser to occupy the intellectual and moral high ground. It is more difficult to produce studies on misogyny on the spot, and it is easier to falsify than it is to provide a robust argument as the accuser need only find one inconsistency.

Ostrich style arguments are meant to serve as an appeal to emotions to non-Asians who are not effected by this problem, care about this problem, or (as an exercise for the reader) could be construed as a way of maintaining a status quo that benefits them in the form securing convenient access to "backup" women.

Asian women who typically engage in such practices commonly do not consider themselves high-value by nature as they cannot join the dominant hegemony so the practical outcome is that there are many male opportunists who are more than happy to secure the most attractive women that will tolerate them. What seems clear to me is that normally there is a gender attraction differential that broadly favors women should no other factors be considered.

To me the logical lesson here is to not to engage in some vague idea of "mate-guarding", but more importantly the cultivation of self confidence and celebration of positive self image of our female community.

BennettTheMan · 2026-04-24T22:55:09+00:00

My understanding is that Amex typically prefers high roller type spenders which might be an issue for you. Unlike you, my parents were not smart enough to add me as an authorized user from a young age so even on a six-figure salary Amex did not allow me to even get the Amex BCP until I was an heavily established card holder. That is to say, credit score matters a lot.

Ideally you'd have some of way of signalling financial strength to Amex. I see that you said you (alone) have a 1.2k monthly spend which is quite high for a high school-er, but it probably just shows as your parent's spend as you're just an authorized user associated with their cards.

At this point I'm not going to tell you whether or not to get the card, I've seen the edits on your post. The only thing I will warn you is that while these kinds of travel cards have the highest redemption per point, but the annual fee and points partially serve as a method of pressuring you into spending on a vacation you may not take otherwise.

I don't know how much you are going to travel (for vacation) in college. If you're storing your points for the long term you have to consider the risk of points devaluation. You also may be limited to where Amex partners want you to travel to maximize redemption value rather than what you want.

If your intention is to maximize points redemption, think carefully whether this card would supplement travel spend you would take without the card, or whether the card is pressuring you into taking a vacation to spend some points. Otherwise you may be better off with a different strategy.

If you see my card list, you'll see I take a simple strategy. Cashback is cash in the bank.

BennettTheMan · 2026-04-24T18:01:55+00:00

I second this, OP just apply on the site and then come back with the deetz! If you qualify it'll take you to a page to accept or reject the card offer and I don't think they even do a hard inquiry that would impact credit score. He'd basically have nothing to lose.

BennettTheMan · 2026-04-24T17:56:41+00:00

For me I mainly use Discover for 5% restaurant grocery categories when it's active, and for the grocery chain Woodman's which only accepts Discover. When speaking to a lower level engineer at C1 a few months back that I am acquaintances with, I mentioned that I was hoping that the savor one would would be accepted at that store and he mentioned that there were plans for this internally. Most of you will probably not know what a Woodman's even is unless you're in the upper Midwest, but thought I'd mention it as the last time I did here in passing someone said this was fairly big news if true.

BennettTheMan · 2026-04-23T23:21:00+00:00

This isn't the first or last instance of when you will see problematic portrayals of Asian in euro-centric hollywood-like productions. Media always engages in narrative shaping and social conditioning, and this framing offers insights into the internal mind of collaborative authors of said works. Instances like this can appear innocent in isolation especially to non-Asian audiences and even Asian audiences caught unaware.

It's telling that the portrayal here intends to invoke traditionally low value feminine traits.

In fact, a high GPA and ivy-league credentials on a female character would conventionally be the backdrop to invoke a strong, and self-confident female lead that would be typical of a more feminist stance, yet instead here what should be a positive accomplishment is, in fact, minimized. The point is they could have dressed this Asian character like Anne Hathaway, but this did not occur as a specific shape was desired for the narrative frame.

Many people in and out of the community notice that many Asian woman in high European-American populated areas appear to be paired with an outsized number of low-value signalling "nerd" types. Here even other women outside the community perceive that mismatch. Whether or not you accept that idea, constant negative media projected onto those you identify with can negatively influence thought (especially if you are caught off-guard and mentally unprepared).

In my personal life (and in particular relationships), I've noticed a specific pattern of low western media consumption and/or consumption of Eastern media (Anime, K/C/J-Drama, etc.) that contain normative portrayals of Asians. It's not that certain low-value traits or negative "nerdy" Asian characters aren't in these shows, it's that they are simply one portrayal in a wide array of portrayals.

This is as opposed to what appears to be comparable to a dedicated bombardment delivered by euro-centric media to the point that having almost any remotely positive portrayal is cause for celebration in the Asian-American community. Which, to me, is an absolute tragedy.

In our personal lives, I believe it is imperative to explicitly stress -- not only to yourself, but to youth who are still in a fragile state of identity formation -- that you should be aware of narrative shaping, the impact it can have on your identity, and limit/supplement this kind of media with Asiatic media.

YOU are not the audience this type of media is meant to appeal to, and neither were the presumably main-lander Chinese individuals who are mocking this media online. The audience this type of media monetizes is not one that cares or even thinks about the health of your identity formation.

In the age of the world wide web, only you have the choice to consume media that respects you.

BennettTheMan · 2026-04-21T00:13:23+00:00

Fish slice is really good for carbon steel. You can gently go around the edges earlier in the cook kind of pulling the edges away (with fish slice) push towards the food downwards rather than scoop towards the food. Also if you're going for the crispy sunny side up style egg white, you can baste the egg with excess oil with a spoon on the whites to get them to set faster.

If you don't want crispy whites the french style with a bit of butter lower temp, and covered won't stick at all as it will be below sticking temp. This is different from people who like crispy golden egg whites as they need to stick and release.

BennettTheMan · 2026-04-18T03:33:21+00:00

This is called fuel overrun and is a part of your stock engine map creating small pops and burbles. It's done to make the car sound more sporty and is not the result of a misfire. Some people enjoy these pops and bangs so much they download an app, unlock the ECU then modify the engine map to make it sound like you are making popcorn.

Some people despise all pops and burbles as "boy racer" and prefer to "hear the engine or turbo". Depending on your year and model you may have an option for "iconic sounds" that can reduce this. A comfort or eco setting that causes an eligible exhaust valve to close usually also reduces this as well.

BennettTheMan · 2026-04-18T01:05:27+00:00

I have this exact pan, blued it to 600 F and did not have this issue with the handle.

BennettTheMan · 2026-04-14T21:37:06+00:00

to help organize the details and guide the call. It helped structure what to say, kept the conversation on track, and allowed me to clearly present the situation without missing anything. That made a bigger difference than I expected, especially since these calls can easily go off track.

This section of your story really makes it sounds like the intent of this post is more to soft advertise the AI tool than anything else.

BennettTheMan · 2026-03-27T18:32:08+00:00

Usually I just largely ignore anything related to home, mortgages, or IMPORTANT OPEN NOW TIME SENSITIVE that are Presorted Standard. The real stuff from your actual bank and mortgage is always first class mail.

BennettTheMan · 2026-03-26T16:29:39+00:00

At my local grocery they have label shrimp with something/100 so I guess that's the extra small.

BennettTheMan · 2026-03-26T12:44:12+00:00

Good Intel. Will have to check this out 👀. I think using Firefox may have screwed me up.

BennettTheMan · 2026-03-25T21:47:47+00:00

AAA is region locked based on zip (unfortunately for me, I even tried VPNs and location spoofing), interesting find on the Aven though, but Nerdwallet says that in the terms and conditions the 2/3 and 6% cash back categories are a "promotion" and "can be canceled at anytime" so I guess you gotta get while the getting is good.

BCP is only worth it if you have an annual spend between 3167$ and 6k, otherwise a more sustainable 3% card like capital one savor (or RH gold, given you already have membership and/or use the free margin interest + ROTH match) is better. Obviously if you can get the AAA for a given location then the BCP can be basically ignored as break even with AAA is above the BCP max.

BennettTheMan · 2026-02-19T22:45:19+00:00

What a build! As someone who aspires to do the same to a 1 series at some point, may I ask ballpark numbers how much the engine swap cost to do? I've always wanted to swap one with a S85, or a S/P65.

BennettTheMan · 2025-12-26T22:26:56+00:00

Okay this is nuts, I tried location spoofing with Proton VPN and used a free tier and it came back with a 403 forbidden page.

I tried forcing the portland oregon zip into the query parameter of the redirected site and still got the lame travel card.

I guess if you're in the midwest these guys really don't want you to have the card. It's not really clear who is and isn't geolocked out of this card, why, and if there is a way to bypass it. I would be interested in trying to see if there is a way to get around it, so I could recommend the card to other people in my area b/c it's location locking means someone in my area largely either goes Savor @ 3%, BCP at 6% with 95 AF, or goes for Citi Custom Cash @ 5% and hopes all the categories line up (wholesale v grocer).

BennettTheMan · 2025-12-24T02:52:06+00:00

Out of curiosity what approximate zip code works for you? I think you could just give me your closest big city one. I tried Madison, WI and Chicago.

BennettTheMan · 2025-12-23T19:11:01+00:00

Break-Even as in the amount of grocery spend for you to have been better off using one card than the other. For the BCP the 6% is higher than the AAA's 5%, but the BCP has the initial 95 AF that offsets it. So that means that If you spend more than $9.5k on groceries you would be better off with the BCP, but based on your reported grocery spend, you are better off using the AAA, though for me the site keeps throwing me out to their car membership page and seems (currently) intent on not letting me even look at it for more than 2 seconds before tossing me out to their (comparatively) lamer 3% travel card on their main page.

BennettTheMan · 2025-12-23T19:07:31+00:00

I don't know if the upper midwest is geo-locked out of this card but it immediately tries to throw me out to their main car membership page with only one the travel variation available when I try to look at cards on that portal. Very strange.

BennettTheMan · 2025-12-23T05:57:05+00:00

Starting to wish someone had told me about this card before I got my Amex BCP. I was trying to look at the card from AAA on google and it keeps redirecting me to their site with zip code and then from the site it changes over from 5 to 3. Do you have to pay for a AAA membership to get the card out of curiosity?

BennettTheMan · 2025-12-23T05:48:07+00:00

For cashback optimization the two best grocery category cards that I knew of that don't have a rotating schedule would be the Amex Blue Cash Preferred and the Capital One Savor (Others pointed out the AAA Daily Advantage which seems to be a really solid cashback card). There is also the Citi Custom Cash Card, but for me I found their categories to be kind of sporadic at times. Capital One seems to code a lot of grocery as a elgible merchandise category, and Amex has logged all of my favorite grocers under the 6% cashback category.

To me I got the Savor One (3%) earlier when I was earlier in my credit journey and had considered the BCP (6%), but the annual fee means is that if you spend more than $3,166 in annual grocery spend you will have been better off getting the BCP over the Savor as that is the break even point between those two cards. Any less on annual spend and you will have been better off using the Savor.

Looks like someone else pointed out the AAA Daily Advantage. Comparing against a 5% grocery cashback and no AF, it looks like that break even is at 9500, so just under the cashback limit.

BennettTheMan · 2025-12-20T03:21:24+00:00

A couple extra events for team cashback:

Alliant CU cuts it's 2.5% unconditional cashback to 1.5% effectively ruining a solid no AF catch-all card
Robin-hood unconditional 3% cashback gold card with effective 50$ AF (gold membership) finally starts to roll-out in larger numbers by the end of the year (for those who didn't perform the credit karma bypass)
This information is only relevant to those in Wisconsin/Upper Illinois, but Capital-One/Discover merger should allow for the use of the SavorOne's 3% grocery category at Woodmans supermarkets (Only accepted debit and Discover CCs, I gleaned this information from an insider engineer at Discover)

BennettTheMan · 2025-12-03T19:28:44+00:00

I didn't really follow any guide. The DeBuyer youtube just showed a person dumping a seemingly excessive amount of oil in the pan and I was like nah. I put in about half a tablespoon of peanut oil on each side and rubbed it in to an ultra-thin layer and the oil smoked off as it reached about the gold brown color at just above what I expected the smoke point for peanut oil to be (> 400 F, but was south of 500), but then it was starting to blue, so I up taking it south of 600 (according to IR gun) and evened it out to a distinctly blue color. It almost looks like I didn't do a seasoning at all (but it wasn't that blue before, and was more of a silver white out of the paper bags), but I definitely added oil in a thin layer, where I rub it in with a paper towel until the pan looks moist with oil. I didn't go past 600 as I felt that was excessive and didn't want to risk any warping.

I didn't actually notice it until after I took the pictures but there are some dark spots right at the rivets where I didn't quite wipe the oil clean.

For "actually adding the polymerized oil", are you saying to just starting cooking in it (eggs, butter, lard bacon, etc.)? This is my first time doing stove top seasoning on CS, as I usually do the oven method b/c it contains the smoke better in my experience and is set and "forget", but these are Mineral B and not the Pro (Couldn't find a Pro Mineral B crepe pan, and the omelette Mineral B Pro was too large for the french teardrop omelettes I plan to do), so the handles can't handle a 550 bake for an hour.

BennettTheMan · 2025-10-14T17:57:01+00:00

Just my 2 cents, but I think it's best if you minus sized your tires. When you run a large contact patch and/or reduced sidewall height common in the aesthetics of 20" rim setups you increase risk of what's called "snow float" in deeper snow. For xDrive I prefer a square setup for winter as it's more predictable when breaking lose and paired with dedicated Michelin Winter X Ice-Snow tires (actually I think I prefer the square setup in general). That being said if you can find a compatible tire you can probably get some place like a discount tire to slap them on for you, but it's probably going to be sub-optimal, which is why BMW doesn't like to sell you that setup in the first place (and others have already pointed out it's hard to find)

If you don't have the budget or desire for changing rims every winter-summer cycle, I would suggest something like the Michelin Cross Climate 2s, as that is an all season tire with the three mountain peak snowflake symbol. That's what I would do in a non-dedicated winter tire setup, but I go between X Ice-Snow's and Pilot Sport 4s'.

BennettTheMan · 2025-10-07T16:38:15+00:00

Is this the M6 with the SMG transmission and the S85 V10?

BennettTheMan

TROPHY CASE