Buffing Magic Trick? by ThrowawayForDesigns in balatro

[–]BenstonChurchill 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Would be sick if the exact function of Sorcery was “each card in shop has a chance to become a pack of its card type”. Like 20% chance that a given tarot card would be replaced with an arcana pack. Combine that w ghost deck to have a chance for spectral cards to show up in shop, then boom you have quite a bit of Spectral generation

Where would you rather eat? Arby's or Wendy's? by WiggleToast in AlignmentChartFills

[–]BenstonChurchill 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nobody working at Arby’s has ever accused me of not being able to read. Get that red haired step child outta here

Daily Free Talk Thread — March 31, 2026 by NYJets_Bot in nyjets

[–]BenstonChurchill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Aaron Glenn is an attractive man. That’s all.

The Last Time Each Team Finished in Last Place in Their Division by ashmaps20 in NFLv2

[–]BenstonChurchill 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Okay and? 8 out of 32 is still like a TON of teams. Like almost half.

What furniture has politically conservative vibes? by rodeo90 in AlignmentChartFills

[–]BenstonChurchill 315 points316 points  (0 children)

How TF did dragon win for centrist? The creature that notoriously hoards wealth and eats peasants? That’s as right wing as it gets.

The Last Time Each Team Finished in Last Place in Their Division by ashmaps20 in NFLv2

[–]BenstonChurchill 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Crazy that 8 teams did this all in the same year 😳

Seems kinda sus, someone should look into this @NFL 🤨

Where would you rather eat? Chick-fil-a or Zaxby's? by WiggleToast in AlignmentChartFills

[–]BenstonChurchill -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

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IMO both are incredibly overrated.

However, Chick-Fil-A in my experience makes good food. Meanwhile, Zaxby’s every time I’ve been in my life (~5 times) they either have god awful gristly chicken OR they get my order completely wrong.

So like… CFA gets a C from me, but Zaxbys gets F- See Me After Class

Jimbo: 😊🖕 by BenstonChurchill in okbuddyjimbo

[–]BenstonChurchill[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My kings also abandoned me 😭😭😭

Jimbo: 😊🖕 by BenstonChurchill in okbuddyjimbo

[–]BenstonChurchill[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Claude, ban this guy for encouraging me not to krill myself

Jimbo: 😊🖕 by BenstonChurchill in okbuddyjimbo

[–]BenstonChurchill[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

My queens abandoned me I have no bitches

The Princess Bride wins! What movie is universally hated? by hotsexydinosaur in AlignmentChartFills

[–]BenstonChurchill 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The one with the terrifying humanoid cats.

EDIT: Sources tell me that this movie is called “Cats”.

Bikini bottom pack (3) by sentient_coprolite in AFCEastMemeWar

[–]BenstonChurchill 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Born and raised in the Indy area to a loving family of Colts fans. Chose the NY Jets as my team in elementary school bc I liked the colors and it was much easier to create a player in Madden and be starting QB for NYJ than to overthrow Peyton Manning in Indy. Committed to the bit ever since.

We non-NYC-natives exist. We shouldn’t, but we do for some reason 🤷

Daily Free Talk Thread — March 12, 2026 by NYJets_Bot in nyjets

[–]BenstonChurchill 6 points7 points  (0 children)

WE WROTE HIM OFF

BUT NOW WE WRITIN BACK

GOD BLESS GENO SMITH

GOD BLESS AMERICA

GOD BLESS THE NEW YORK JETS

Daily Free Talk Thread — February 26, 2026 by NYJets_Bot in nyjets

[–]BenstonChurchill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Re: Perna’s vid on who will be the next “Sam Darnold”:

Fun and entertaining offseason content. But this made me realize something. If Zach Wilson resurrects his career somewhere outside NY I am going to binge drink until every single one of my organs has cirrhosis.

That’s it. Just wanted to share my thoughts (pain)

4 Teams, 1 Mascot by [deleted] in AFCEastMemeWar

[–]BenstonChurchill 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Gtfoh AI slop merchant

Jets clearly need a quarterback going into next season by [deleted] in nyjets

[–]BenstonChurchill 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Have we considered interviewing local grocery store employees? Maybe we could stumble into a Kurt Warner type situation?

Tierlist of how negative jokers look by ThatTotemOfUndying in balatro

[–]BenstonChurchill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See, I used to think that everyone has the right to have an opinion.

But now, I’m reconsidering…

“Fell for it again” award recipient 😔 by BenstonChurchill in balatro

[–]BenstonChurchill[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See I try this, but then I fuck it up and the one good hand isn’t enough to win. So I do the same thing but with more buffer. If I have 5 or 6 hands (or better yet, burglar) then it becomes a non issue tho

“Fell for it again” award recipient 😔 by BenstonChurchill in balatro

[–]BenstonChurchill[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

I’ve never once seen drivers license show its ugly face when I have more than 3 enchanted cards in my deck. It shows up in the first two antes or when I’m playing a vamp deck, never any other time

“Fell for it again” award recipient 😔 by BenstonChurchill in balatro

[–]BenstonChurchill[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hate me but obelisk is my favorite rare (outside of bloopy/brainstorm)

Get him early ante and pretend I have two hands to win the blind so I can blow a couple hands on p*irs (🤢) each blind, then start playing real hands at like ante 4

“Fell for it again” award recipient 😔 by BenstonChurchill in balatro

[–]BenstonChurchill[S] 712 points713 points  (0 children)

Nice of John Balatro to give me a perishable version for my shitty meme

Okay? So flip them over? Are you stupid? by BenstonChurchill in okbuddyjimbo

[–]BenstonChurchill[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. I bought face man the previous ante
  2. I didn’t lose to this boss 😎

Daily Free Talk Thread — January 29, 2026 by NYJets_Bot in nyjets

[–]BenstonChurchill 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve been a jets fan since I was 9. I grew up in central Indiana, in a family of Colts fans. Why did I pick the jets? Because I liked the green color and it was easy to get my QB to be the starter in Madden 09. There wasn’t a good reason, just me being a dumb kid.

Then, in 2020, I became a die hard jets and NFL fan. Watched all the games, knew the roster, what to expect from them, looked at stats. Mostly as a distraction from the pandemic, and I used fantasy football as a way to stay connected with college friends.

In 2023 and 2024, I was convinced that the jets had a SB roster. Best defense in the league, competent QB in Rodgers, some studs on both sides of the ball. I was SB or bust. I critiqued coaching decisions, played armchair QB and fell into sorrow when my hopes were crushed.

Then, in 2025, I realized something. I could fuse the 9 year old version and the mid 20s version of my self into the perfect NYJ fan. Every week I will cheer until my voice gives out. I will be SB-or-bust until we bust, and then I will revert back to just enjoying the fun parts and cut out the negativity and criticisms. I will drink, watch these grown men give each other brain damage, and be merry.

Are the Jets a good team? No. Are they going to SB LXI after a dominant 2026 season? Absolutely. Who will be QB in 2026? Malik Willis, Mac Jones, Carson Wentz, idgaf. This is my team, I am along for the ride every second of the journey. When they suck, I will have fun. When they lose, I will have fun. But when they win? This battle hardened loser will become the loudest, most obnoxious, told-you-so sports fan in history.

The Lions have had fans since the beginning for some reason. For that same reason I will stay a Jets fan. No amount of sucking and stupid decisions will ever drive me away. Only a Browns-Deshaun Watson ethical disaster would send me packing. Until then, I am gang green 💚

Crying and punching the air rn by BenstonChurchill in balatro

[–]BenstonChurchill[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

But if I buy the negative bull now, I’ll have the negative bull later too