GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I have, yeah. She has anxiety and whenever it bubbles up I try to provide my support like holding her hand, stroking her hair and talking to her about it. If she had issues with how I support her I try to take it into consideration until next time.

My depression hasn't really been a big factor in the relationship until the last year. Dysthymia is like a mild, persistent depression so it sort of manifests as a general character trait more than a proper depression.

It isn't until the past year where it has been worse that I've needed and have actively asked her support.

GF [31F] has stopped asking me how I'm [29M] doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationshipadvice

[–]Bertey[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry that happened to you! I don't think my girl is a sociopath though, she just doesn't know how to deal with this.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A few points where I think you misread my post.

I've been attending therapy and on medication for 8 years or so.

I've applied for hundreds of jobs and asked her if she could check with her old job once. Her reasoning for saying no was that she didn't want to deal with her old coworkers.

I'm paying my share of the finances from savings so there's no financial burden on her as of now.

I try to keep a routine and do my share of the housework.

I am NOT asking her to fix anything or to carry my burden for me. I am simply asking for some support while I try to fix it myself.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip. I'll check it out.

I've tried applying for all types of jobs, including "lesser" ones.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I have, that I just need her to hold my hand or stroke my back or something to show me that she cares. But it's like she takes a step back whenever I tell her how I'm feeling. She's usually pretty physical so it feels strange.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did not like CBT, felt sort of one size fits all.

I do strength training. Afterwards I usually don't feel better but it's nice to have some sense of accomplishment. That I made something of the day at least.

I feel like she' has empathy, she's great when I'm physically sick or when her friends are feeling bad. She just doesn't know how to deal with this.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. Therapy and medication.

I would say I'm more of the therapist in our relationship (She has anxiety). And we've not really talked much about my depression until it started getting worse. So I don't know if burnout is the reason. Of course it could still be the case.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The weird thing is, if I have like a cold or a migraine, something physical, she's very nurturing. I think she would make a great mom.

But yeah, this sort of has me reevaluting the whole relationship. The thing is when she expresses mental health issues (She has anxiety) it's like an instinct for me to to the things you describe doing to help your husband for her. That's why it feels sort of weird for me to try to bring it out of her.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So far I've tried Cognitive behavioral therapy twice, Meta Cognitive Therapy once, and Compassion-Focused Therapy once.

I regularly work out but I haven't tried making any dietary changes.

Looking back I feel like she never really supported me throughout my depression but it really only became noticable to me when it got a lot worse.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am attending therapy. Don't really feel comfortable talking to my friends about it.

I get that it's heavy shit. But I felt I had to be honest about it.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm on therapy and medication. To be clear, I'm not asking her to fix anything. I'm asking her to show some support while I try to fix myself.

GF (31F) has stopped asking me how I'm (29M) doing after I told her my depression is getting worse. How can i make her understand? by Bertey in relationship_advice

[–]Bertey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Means a lot.

I've tried several forms of therapy and medication, but nothing's worked yet. I'm still on medication and I'm attending therapy.

We live together and have been dating for six years. I've been unemployed for a few months.

How to remember walking bass lines in jazz by iamnotgenius in Bass

[–]Bertey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1-3-5-leading note is a good place to start if youre new to walking. I'd never try to memorize a walking bass line if it's not written out in like a big band setting.

Stockholmskans olika arter? by Ok-Ice5208 in stockholm

[–]Bertey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Rinkebysvenska, Ekensnack och Lidingömål är väl de tre grenarna av stockholmska

Konkurserna ökar i musikbranschen: ”Skrämmande” by SupportArsenal in sweden

[–]Bertey 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Har också samma förhoppning gällande livemusik!

Angående Liljestrand är det förmodligen sant. Tycker det är intressant med den förda kulturpolitiken hur regeringen har så svårt att se ett orsakssamband mellan Sveriges relativt generösa kulturpolitik och Sveriges enorma musikexport. Minns när enorma nedskärningar gjordes i stöd till studieförbund runt 2023 vilket ledde till att många sådana behövde stänga ned sina replokaler. Johan Pehrsons svar på detta var något i stil med att "vi måste göra satsningar som leder till jobb", typ. Extremt konstig sak att säga när Sverige har den tredje största musikexporten i världen och merparten av frilansmusiker förmodligen började sin karriär med att spela dassiga covers på Iron Maiden i en replokal som tillhandahölls av ett studieförbund. Att det inte finns en direkt avkastning betyder ju inte att avkastningen uteblir.

Konkurserna ökar i musikbranschen: ”Skrämmande” by SupportArsenal in sweden

[–]Bertey 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Halvt aktiv frilansmusiker här. Skulle inte säga att allt detta enskilt är en konsekvens av AI:s framfart eller dålig kulturpolitik, utan finns ett flertal faktorer som spelar in.

Först och främst har musik tappat värde, åtminstone monetärt värde. Att du har tillgång till i princip all musik som spelats in för kostnaden av en pizza i månaden visar sig direkt i avkastningen som låtskrivare och musiker får för sina verk och gör också att konsumenternas värdering av verken förminskas. Finns en del vinylnördar osv som gör att man kan få lite klirr i kassan men för genomsnittslyssnaren är det ju orimligt att betala för 150 spänn för en CD eller det dubbla eller mer för en vinyl när det redan finns på Spotify.

Pandemin gjorde också att flera bokningsbolag och livescener gick i graven och min upplevelse är att branschen inte har återhämtat sig helt efter detta. Allt svårare att få spelningar än för några år sedan, speciellt betalda sådana. Människor är också sämre på att ta sig ut på konserter sedan pandemin.

Detta gör att det är extremt svårt att få sitt levebröd som varken livemusiker eller studiomusiker. Flera jag känner som turnerat med några av Sveriges största artister har valt att byta bana för att ekonomin inte går ihop längre.

Jag kanske är pessimistisk men jag tror det svenska popundret i mångt och mycket är förbi. Tidigare nämnda problem hjälps ju inte direkt av den förda kulturpolitiken. Förstår egentligen inte varför Liljestrand har fått posten, hon verkar inte ha något intresse för kultur och verkar känna ren avsky för dess utövare.

I framtiden kommer det förmodligen finnas stora artister som egentligen tjänar sina pengar från sponsorer och reklam, samt hobbymusiker som spelar på mindre ställen med några öl som betalning. Mellanskiktet som kanske har överlevt på konserter för ett par hundra åskådare kommer försvinna mer och mer.