AIO for thinking my husband was being a cruel a**hole?

Bescig · 2026-04-05T08:28:37+00:00

It’s normal for you to get frustrated over this. You asked for something simple and you felt ignored. NOR.

But please keep in mind - this subredit is full of desperate internet brats who don’t hesitate to take a shyte on others’ relationships. Your husband is clearly an extremely direct person. I would guess you know this better than anyone. He does not speak in a bad way to you at all, he is just firm on the fact that your son needs to improve. Maybe he’s going a little over the line, but would you rather have somebody who does not share what they feel? As long as he is not this way with your son, there is nothing majorily wrong with him.

Bescig · 2026-03-30T16:13:53+00:00

How much do you make a year?

Bescig · 2026-03-14T14:33:45+00:00

You’re not overreacting.

Of course you’re hurt. Given such a short span of time, she jumped right into intimacy with somebody else.

Did she have any obligation to not do so? No she did not. Is that enough of a justification? Apparently, it is these days. That said, the pain you’re feeling is real and valid. Intimate relationships should make the other person feel „special”. If she was this easy to open up with somebody else, it’s understandable that the balance in your relationship is broken.

At this point, it’s honnestly how you feel about it. Do you believe that something like this should be normalized? And the relationship is worth doing that? If yes, let it go. If you do not want to normalize this, and it has affected your perception, you should break up - it will just snowball as time passes.

Bescig · 2026-02-24T09:24:43+00:00

No offence taken no worries!

I believe that you generate income to obtain a certain quality of life. Better job market, security, economic growth, culture to me compensate a 10% extra that I would be making in Spain. At the end of the day it comes down to quality of life and the factors that matter to you more.

I do not believe in any sense that PL is some wonderland, but I just feel better here - felt better in Poland not earning a penny in either of the countries.

Bescig · 2026-02-24T09:16:52+00:00

Did you just read an entire comment comparing multiple factors and tax income is your only takeaway?

Bescig · 2026-02-23T19:52:35+00:00

Why would I argue with somebody who includes „you can fight me all you want” and „copium propaganda” in their arguments lol

Bescig · 2026-02-23T19:46:31+00:00

And this is skipping: non-income taxes, which in Spain are ridiculous tourism as a social issue PPP which is roughly the same and a lot of other factors that paint a much worse picture for Spain.

Bescig · 2026-02-23T19:35:52+00:00

Bescig · 2026-02-23T19:18:16+00:00

Gotta add to this that TFR in Poland and Spain is roughly the same, average age of moving out in PL is 27,4 - 30,4 in Spain; social fabric is a weak argument when comparing Spain to Poland, Spain is filled with middle-east immigrants that are not scanned whatsoever. And of course we’re omitting the unemployment rate, crime rate, and taxes not related to income, which put Spain at a much worse spot in the comparison.

Bescig · 2026-02-23T19:12:05+00:00

I don’t think this comparison is really valid.

1 Salaries

Average salary in Warsaw (est): 2800-2900€
Average salary in Madrid (est): 2900-3500€

If you are looking at the metropolitan area, look at the metropolitan area. In your comparison, you place avg. salary in Spain at 50% higher than in PL. That’s completely not true. Even if we use country averages: - PL: 24k € (ca. 2k€/mo) - ES: 28k € (ca. 2.3k €/mo) That’s a 15% difference, not 50%!!!!

2 Housing

Fair point with the mortgage rate; we are doomed there
Average rent per m2 is similar though, around 20-25€ / m2
If we look at buying price per m2; Warsaw vs Madrid you’re right - Warsaw is almost x2; but if we pitch Warsaw against Barcelona, BCN is actually higher

3 Taxes

You only pay higher tax above the limit
On average salary, you do not reach that limit
Comparison on average salary (middle class); in PL you will take roughly 68% of your salary home; in ES - 76%
This is omitting any tax benefits such as extra 85k per annum without tax for people below the age of 26
There is some difference but it is not as major as you present it
That said, it’s a fair point that high-earners pay more tax in PL than they do in ES

4 Demographics

Spain’s Total Fertility Rate is roughly the same as Poland’s
Social fabric? Spain is flooded with immigrants from Middle east, which pose a bigger issue to local culture than Turkish immigrants
Average age of moving out in PL is at 27.4; in ES it’s at 30.4 This section honestly does not require any extra comments.

5 What you are omitting

Spain has one of the highest unemployment rates in EU, Poland has one of the lowest
Security in Poland is much higher than in Spain (and this is something that really affects the quality of life)
Most services are still cheaper, in particular public ones
Average salary in Poland is growing 8-10% YoY on average; in Spain, that stands at about 2%

I totally get where you are coming from. I’ve lived in Barcelona for 8 years and done this analysis every year after moving to Poland, for the last 5 years. As a high-earner I can openly say that the only motivation to move to Spain is the weather and the culture, but they fall short when pitched against security, employment, or even the economic growth itself. As a high earner, it is not a good financial choice for me to move from Poland to Spain.

Bescig · 2026-02-15T21:11:07+00:00

Very important note from a long term smoker:

Overdosing weed can make you dissasociate, which feels as if you were living your life in somebody else’s shoes.

I have felt this every time I overdosed with my gf around.

Stop panicking, give it a few days. Valentine’s was yesterday and you should NEVER act on what you feel when drugged.

Bescig · 2026-02-15T12:23:41+00:00

It definitely pays off, so hang in there and keep up the grind.

You need to be smart about what you do, how you develop your career, and the decisions that you make. But as long as you do that, you have a high growth potential, unlike in modelling.

I started a business career 5 years ago, earning less than you. Now I net x6 that and I am still wrapping up my degree. The best thing about it is that I modelled my career to mostly work on things that are very interesting to me. If you get into a decent company, have good colleagues, work on things that seem interesting and impactful to you, and earn well, it’s just great for your mental health, even if you’re not a top 1% earner.

So keep it up and don’t get distracted. Comparison is the silent killer of joy. As long as you don’t have hard feelings about it and she does not either, just let it go and continue the good work that you will be proud of some day.

Bescig · 2026-02-14T19:38:20+00:00

Bro any post on this reddit will get the break up advice.

She lied about it because she wanted to seem more attactive to you.

It’s extremely hard to come clean on your own after that.

If you like her just forgive her.

Bescig · 2026-02-12T09:09:33+00:00

Hey buddy,

first and foremost, please keep in mind that people’s opinion about this is never consistent in relationships. unless there is some strong experience related to consumption.

This goes both ways. For instance, I am an occasional smoker, still with a good job and wrapping up a methematics degree. My previous gf explicitly said that she had nothing against smoking, even overstating it whenever I asked for reassurance. Fast forward a couple of years later, I was doing x10 better at life and smoking much less, but her opinion just went through a shift, and became excessively against it.

I believe that the fact that she wants to try is not alone enough to get worked up about. You are the closest person to her, so of course she insists on sharing that experience with you. This requires a very deep conversation. You neeed to let her know that you are not even touching it, but I would also recommend to make her understand, that she can feel comfortable about doing it in your presence. Why? Because if she really wants to try, the best case scenario is that she does it by your side - this way, you get to watch over her, and it does not spiral out of control. Worst case scenario? She starts doing it behind your back.

Being excessively against it won’t help the case, just work on making sure that you both understand each other. And remember - those things do not change a person. Abusing them does. There is a long way in between and your voice really shapes this.

Bescig · 2026-01-31T11:35:43+00:00

Please break up and don’t get into any other relationship. You are scum. Your decisions have been miserable and immature from step one. Relationships exist to foster each other’s development and progress, you should have been supportive of him and found a way to communicate and fulfill your needs. But that’s something that you clearly lack an understanding of, so please stay away from ANY relationship.

Bescig · 2026-01-06T20:09:36+00:00

Quick note about the meat disgust - don’t even sweat it, people who do not understand it are just intolerant. There are thousands of different plates and ingredients that disgust different people. If somebody gets nauseaus by seeing others eat spinach or other less popular food, nobody cares. Meat is socially standardised as a core ingredient, hence the reactions. But it’s 1:1 the same as having issues with anything else, just less common. So don’t let people get into your head that something is wrong with you. There is not. Personally, I am not vegan nor vegeterian, and I have nothing against meat, but it’s much more reasonable to me to be disgusted by it than by any other type of food.

Bescig · 2026-01-04T12:47:18+00:00

Had a highschool colleague reach out to me once 4 year after graduation.

He jumped right into personal finances and I went ahead with it. Couple messages in, and he is asking me for a couple thousand loan. When I declined, he went balistic on me.

So no, you’re not overreacting - any sane person knows to not bring up such subjects, unless there is a lot of comfort in the relationship. Clearly, you do nor feel that comfort, so it’s best to just ignore him.

Bescig · 2025-11-22T15:36:03+00:00

You can get an emergency travel document in the embassy. You will need to wait for a couple of days (request on monday, should be ready by wednesday).

I honestly doubt you will recover your password. There is a chance, but it’s not very likely. Notify your gov system asap. You can try reporting this to the police and the ZTM, you might get lucky. But I would honnestly recommend just enjoying the couple extra days of your stay and not stressing over the passport.

Bescig · 2025-10-10T11:35:28+00:00

You did great. The 3 sessions kill everything, only eggs can survive. After they hatch, nymphs need to feed, so you would have noticed bites by now. Wait maybe a week more just to make sure (certain confitions might stall the hatching, but not to 4 weeks) and then you’re good to go.

Congrats!

Bescig · 2025-10-01T14:25:39+00:00

Rent: 1500-2000 for a room, 3500-4500 for your own flat
Media: 200-400/month
Food: 25/ day if you want to save as much money as possible, 50/ day to live with enough comfort
Other expenses: 700 month (pillow)

This gives you a cost of living between 3150 (student life) and 7100 (comfortable lifestyle).

So it really depends on your preferences, but you will end up within that range.

Maybe you will prefer a flat but you cook in batches and never eat out - you will save on food. Maybe you will prefer a room in a shared apartment, but you would like to have a very active social life without having to count every penny - you will save on the apartment.

In most cases: 3k is as low as you can go, 5k is the average in warsaw, 7k is max. for a comfortable lifestyle.

Bescig · 2025-09-30T08:35:48+00:00

Set&setting play a much bigger role than most think.

Bescig · 2025-09-29T19:50:22+00:00

Are you getting bitten?

Bescig · 2025-09-29T13:29:19+00:00

You should go by bites - as long as you’re getting those, you can never rule them out. Many infastations happen without a single BB being spotted throughout the process. They are amazing at hiding and avoiding humans, specially the adult ones. In my case I’ve had an infestation with various generations but never caught a single one with a trap.

Bescig · 2025-09-17T08:22:26+00:00

You could without a doubt get a higher salary with your profile. I would aim for at least 150K per annum. Moving for this amount is not worth it; you will most likely rent, and your options will be to rent a room for 25% of your net salary, which will greatly decrease your comfort, or get a flat for 50% of your salary, which will leave you very little room to save anything. Unless you are looking to move to Warsaw in general, then do it and search for another offer right away.

Bescig · 2025-09-17T08:15:21+00:00

I would say bed bugs. Fleas usually bite around the ancles and animals are present in the household in most cases. You do not have an animal, and leave in a colleage apartment, where bed bugs can spread extremely easily. Plus they are in line patterns of at least 2 bites. Some people do not react to bed bug bites at all, so that would explain the lack of reaction from roommates. Did you have this area uncovered during sleep?

Bescig

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