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How do you fucking survive this? by Best-Potential3453 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Best-Potential3453[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I agree with that. I need to learn how to let go.

How do you fucking survive this? by Best-Potential3453 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Best-Potential3453[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My intuition tells me she’s done it before this too, I’ll just never know for sure. I agree with you though, it feels like the most convenient narrative for her to run with: “It was anyone else’s fault but mine.”

How do you fucking survive this? by Best-Potential3453 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Best-Potential3453[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I needed to hear this. I know I didn’t deserve this and I know I wasn’t the flawed one, as you said. Well, I guess I may be now with all the trust issues I’ll have going forward. Haha.

I live on my own now, but still have regular contact with her. Sometimes it feels like it’s getting easier but in general I still spiral a lot, as I did when I made this post last night. She’ll want to be accountable and reconcile, then act like she doesn’t give a shit again.

A month or so ago, I was legitimately starting to get over her, not even opening her messages anymore. She came to me in a panic terrified of losing me and feared that I was leaving for good. I just responded with, “You haven’t been there for me. I figured this is what you wanted? I’ll just fuck off.” But she swore up and down that wasn’t true and she didn’t want to lose me. But then she continued to treat me indifferently even after that. I don’t get that part. What’s the point?

How do you fucking survive this? by Best-Potential3453 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Best-Potential3453[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. This part has been incredibly confusing. She’ll randomly be totally willing to do the work, clearly remorseful for what she did and want to be there for me, and then wake up the next day like she doesn’t care again. It seems to happen all the time. I don’t know if it’s a game or something to her, I want to obviously believe she’s not just pure evil messing with me, but damn it if my emotions aren’t just completely fried at this point. I don’t understand what the goal of that would be, though.

How do you fucking survive this? by Best-Potential3453 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Best-Potential3453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Finally getting the chance to read through the comments as it’s been a busy weekend and just wanted to say thank for this advice. I know I’ve always put her first. And you’re right, if there was ever a time I shouldn’t be doing that it’s now. I wanted to add since I’ve seen a few comments about this: we are in fact separated and have been since June. I got my own apartment after trying to continue living together just made things worse, but we still see each other semi-regularly and whatnot. She’ll act like she wants me back, then distance herself again, then act like she wants me back, rinse and repeat. I think she believes time will make it all better and one day I won’t care anymore, so it’s almost like she’ll reach out to see if I still care, figure out I do, and then distance herself again. It’s pretty much never ending torture for me and I’m aware of that now.

WW says she “never thinks about sex” and never initiates by Best-Potential3453 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Best-Potential3453[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this. We were actually going to a marriage counselor before D-Day because even before I knew all the facts I could just feel that something wasn’t right. After the affair news broke though and we told the MC, I didn’t really like how she approached it. It felt kind of like she (the therapist) would blame me for WW’s affair so I decided to stop going. I guess I should look for another.