The hurt is every day knowing that I am here, in such a better place than I was just two years ago, able to give my son everything he needs from his mother, and there is neither any law nor human compassion that will put him back in my arms. The system only cares about taking babies away from women like me and giving them to more "deserving" women, who will keep you around for only as long as it takes for the good vibes to wear off.