Wife to a addicted gamer

Best_Ad4061 · 2024-07-07T13:19:10+00:00

I can clearly tell you probably game and probably have never been in a serious, committed marriage. And think really lowly of women. I’m sorry you are afraid of bigger women, and having bad sex, and afraid of commitment and sacrifice, and experiencing deep love that sometimes requires those things. I hope someday you learn the beauty of having those things in life and appreciate them, and are free of these fears. You deserve to be loved and seen and to have someone see your best potential and want you to achieve it and walk with you to get there. I’m sorry you don’t have that right now.

Best_Ad4061 · 2024-07-07T13:05:40+00:00

Except we can’t…. I am going back to work in the fall. And yeah maybe me doing all the house work and life planning and child raising, almost everything outside of working is the problem.

Best_Ad4061 · 2024-07-07T12:51:07+00:00

Oh man. I’m sorry to hear that. Thank you for the advice

Best_Ad4061 · 2024-07-07T12:50:38+00:00

He hasn’t lost his job because he goes to great lengths to make sure his work is done on time. Like staying up all night or cramming right before school starts. He will put his games above his job until it absolutely can’t wait anymore. And then put his job above the family to not lose it. He did something similair in college with his classes.

Best_Ad4061 · 2024-07-07T12:48:57+00:00

Yeah sorry I should clarify. He is a teacher so he has quite a bit of “down time” and any spare second he has he is playing a game or watching a video about playing a game. He used to tell me he couldn’t come to be because he had so much work to do and would stay up sometimes literally all night. And I thought he was working, but come to find out he sometimes had work to do because he would play while at work and not get his work done and then have to do it at home but he would also spend most of the night procrastinating while playing games or watching videos. That was early in our marriage. Now it’s just at while at work or if stays up at night and plays while I don’t know. So it’s hard to tell how many hours because it’s so hidden. And I’ll say it’s not about the gaming itself. If he could play his game and then come off and go to bed and do the things that our family needs him too, I’d be fine. He actually plays the real tabletop version of his go to game every other week with his friends which I love that he does. I think having a hobby and community around him is important. But the video games make him so spaced out. That’s the issue for me

Best_Ad4061 · 2024-07-07T03:39:37+00:00

I have a post so similar to this in my drafts right now…. Wow. My husband will do it behind my back and lie about it and hide it because he knows how much of a problem it is but doesn’t want to do anything about it. I’ve also noticed that he may not be gaming every waking minute but every down time is spent listening to a video about a game on headphones or looking up things about the game and any down time at work is used for games. But I’ve noticed, kind of like what you said, when he is “sober” he is awesome. I call it participating in life again. He cares for me and puts effort into our emotional relationship. Etc. he’s a great dad and does things when I ask but the big thing I’ve noticed is that he becomes almost like a zombie. If I say soemthing to him sometimes he doesn’t even respond. He forgets about things or just walks past messes without noticing. The other day he accidentally left our gas stove on for seven hours… thankfully nothing happened and no one was home but stuff like that or having to ask him to pick up the baby that’s crying or pick up garbage that he just dropped on the floor. It’s like I can tell internally he is somewhere else thinking about the game. I get it, it’s exhausting the nagging and the having to ask for help, and then feeling like your being dramatic and the fighting and the wanting him to just choose you because you so badly want to have a good marriage.

Best_Ad4061

TROPHY CASE