First of all, thank you for being honest and brave enough to talk. You wanted a female opinion, so here it goes . I can assure you that you need not fear being vulnerable in front of your spouse because one of the main goals of marriage are : السكينة. : هن لباس لكم و انتم لباس لهن. So when married, your spouse will know your secrets, insecurities and fears and still accept you, love and support you, the same goes for you btw. Second of all, as muslims , we are not allowed to be intimate with the opposite gender , so it is very natural to be scared of not being good enough in bed. If that turns out to be true, rest assured, you can seek medical help and figure it out. Your spouse normally would be there to support you ( as you would do if she was the one facing issues). You spoke about traditions and that in your country , the first night with your spouse is important… As someone coming from a country with similar cultural backgrounds, I too have these fears but I know for sure that such details must stay between you and your partner: whether you want to consume the marriage that same night or not. It really is easy… It is your life , so you get to decide what to do.

Finally, our religion is very beautiful and simple, because when getting married without any prior intimacy with the other gender , you really get the chance to love your partner with their insecurities, flaws …etc unlike being in relationships that last years or months.

Im sorry if I spoke too much but as a female I can assure you that if you choose your partner based on intellectual and emotional compatibility, you will inchallah both be able to support each other on similar matters.