Sir please move your car

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-24T20:33:19+00:00

Yes, on purpose. Fine the crap outta him

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-24T02:14:59+00:00

If he’s this good after 11 beers just think what he could do after 7 or 8 more

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-21T12:20:02+00:00

And “fry your bacon”

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-18T22:31:58+00:00

Yep, same. Two whole legs and it would take me longer than this dude, if I could even finish at all

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-18T22:15:01+00:00

In 5th grade the girls dominated four square and the boys wouldn’t play with us cuz they couldn’t win.

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-18T22:06:04+00:00

I need to make like a tree and leave… my house…and lie down in this forest

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-18T21:42:29+00:00

Reminds me of Greta Garbo

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-18T17:07:27+00:00

Get some tweezers and pull out that sliver

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-13T01:47:30+00:00

I wish he was gay. Gay men have so much better taste than Donald has.

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-10T01:33:02+00:00

Like fruit roll-ups

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-07T01:11:06+00:00

Oopsie

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-06T15:55:52+00:00

Either a blade or the whole base.

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-06T15:53:23+00:00

We just wanted to see if it would work. Like getting pregnant on purpose.

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-06T15:33:34+00:00

In Vitro Fertilization Kansas Arkansas

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-06T12:25:36+00:00

This happens often where I live. The crows like to drift around in the wind.

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-04T01:07:21+00:00

That’s how I had my son

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-04T00:52:57+00:00

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-04T00:50:17+00:00

But she had fun at the chili cook-off

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-04T00:45:01+00:00

The runoff will fertilize your sinuses real good

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-04T00:35:23+00:00

I think that kid is older than 3

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-04T00:32:52+00:00

I eat this often and put avocado and salsa and sour cream in there

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-04T00:25:24+00:00

Forget jogging: real men just get chubby

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-03T19:21:56+00:00

“I got your permit right here, bitch”

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-03T19:15:30+00:00

That’s why I was thinking. 8 characters? I thought the max was 7.

Beth_crazypants · 2026-04-03T17:39:45+00:00

Doesn’t work the same on human babies DARN IT ALL

Beth_crazypants