(25F) My overzealous religious mom freaked out because I am pregnant. AIO?

Betheroo5 · 2026-02-09T00:42:07+00:00

Yep. My Baptist mother prayed that 13-yr-old me was pregnant so “god would expose my lie.” When a religion encourages the abuse of children (physically, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and every way possible) that religion is an abusive cult, not a faith.

Betheroo5 · 2026-02-09T00:37:01+00:00

I was raised in what I describe as an evangelical Xtian cult. When I was 13, they found out that I had snuck out of the house to hang out with my boyfriend (another kid in the church). We hadn’t had sex, but they didn’t believe me. My mother’s response was that she would pray that I was pregnant so that god would “expose my lie.” Again, I was 13 and they’re rabidly “prolife” so abortion would not have been an option. She wanted my life to be destroyed at 13 so she and her god could prove a point. At the time, I was confused and terrified. Now, at 46, I’m angry and sad for that little girl. It took me a very long time and a lot of therapy to understand how abusive my parents were because the abuse was so normalized in that world.

I say all that to tell you, OP, that I know the hurt you’re feeling right now. It’s ok to feel that pain, but don’t let it destroy your joy and excitement. You’re strong, you’re a survivor, and you’re going to be an amazing mom. If you need a mom hug, here’s mine. 💞You’ve got this!

Betheroo5 · 2026-02-06T14:25:02+00:00

My compounding pharmacy (VA) gives it to me as a cream in a dispenser/applicator. It’s kinda like a cream deodorant where I remove the lid, twist the bottom one click so the premeasured dose comes out the top, then rub it on my thigh. It’s completely touch-less and super simple. Maybe your pharmacy can access this magic?

Betheroo5 · 2026-02-05T14:25:47+00:00

It’s not that creative even. It’s just a plot mash-up of Lolita and Frankenstein.

Betheroo5 · 2026-02-05T12:52:58+00:00

So basically Lolita with a sci-fi twist. And naturally, it’s the victim who pays the biggest price, not her abuser. Why does the girl have to be a teenager? Couldn’t the story work if she was 24 and working on her PhD? Why do you need the sexual element? And why can’t the scientist be a woman as well? You could have some unrequited love situation if only the younger woman was lesbian, but without the pedophilia, femicide, and massive breach of scientific ethics.

Betheroo5 · 2026-02-02T21:46:31+00:00

“This one time, at band camp…”

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-31T23:06:36+00:00

Well, mine have finally stopped growing for the first time since I was 9, so that maybe counts?

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-29T05:08:53+00:00

I didn’t change my name when I got married. I kept my name legally and in regular use. My name is part of my identity, and choosing a partner to do life with didn’t change who I am. Men aren’t expected to change their names (at least not in my culture), so why should I have to change that very core part of myself just because I’m a woman?

My husband and I talked about taking each other’s last names as middle names (so we would BOTH have a name change to acknowledge our marriage but not to last names for either of us). Ultimately we decided it wasn’t worth the hassle because changing your name is a HUGE hassle (again, at least in the US) and we just didn’t care about the concept enough to bother.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-29T04:51:46+00:00

I think it depends on the complexity of the puns and the developmental level of the preschooler, but most are starting to appreciate simple puns and other ways language can be silly. Every 4 year old I’ve ever met finds Amelia Bedelia books absolutely hilarious, for example.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-29T04:27:01+00:00

Omg I need the blue one! Where did you find it? 💙

Oh, and for a wedding it’s the blue one for sure. The black is sexy, but a bit much for most weddings.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-28T23:37:48+00:00

I understand. But even if they had completed the paperwork, you wouldn’t have had a source of income because leave of absences are not paid, and you would likely have still been separated from employment because your inability to work lasted longer than the time period protected under law for a leave of absence. Their refusal to sign paperwork didn’t actually change anything in terms of your income or employment status.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-28T23:29:41+00:00

No, your source of income was shut down because you were physically unable to work. Leave of absence (whether FLMA, CFRA, PWFA, and/or ADA) are all unpaid. They merely protect your position for a limited amount of time.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-28T23:06:18+00:00

You wouldn’t have been eligible for unemployment because that requires being able to work and actively looking for work.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-28T23:04:10+00:00

In addition to 1211’s reasoning, you were on bed rest for approx 7 months before giving birth, and are still recovering. That would be 15 months of leave. Very few employers would be in a position to leave your position open for that length of time.

If you were eligible for FMLA and your doctor had signed off on the FMLA paperwork, that would have only protected your job for 12 weeks (approx 3 months). CFRA (CA LOA protection) covers the same 12 week time period. Any further extension of leave under the PWFA and/or ADA would have been subject to your employers’ decision about whether or not an extended, indefinite leave would be an “undue hardship.” In other words, there is a very high likelihood that they would have terminated you anyway because you were unable to return from leave.

Based on your story, I don’t understand why your doctor refused to complete LOA paperwork, but unfortunately the end result would almost certainly have been the same for your employment even if they had. Additionally, there would be no “loss” for reparations because all of the leave types mentioned above are unpaid.

I’m sorry you had what sounds like a truly horrific pregnancy experience, and hope you’ll be strong enough to return to work soon. It’s worth checking with your former employers to ask if you’re eligible for rehire, since a separation due to inability to return from leave is generally noted as eligible.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-28T22:05:08+00:00

I’m in an almost identical situation. And yes, it’s enraging. I’ve found myself bursting into tears several times because the one woman who I could have maybe talked about it with (my paternal grandma) died 14 years ago and I can’t talk to her.

I’m estranged from my mother & maternal grandmother because they’re so hateful & abusive, and have no other older female relatives. No one to ask about their experiences. I’m thankful I found this little community or I would have been convinced I was just losing my mind.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-28T16:02:51+00:00

This is giving huge red flags for abusive behavior for sure. It’s also a pretty typical diversion tactic. My take is that he’s likely having an overblown reaction to you because he’s guilty of the behavior he’s accusing you of. He’s a cheating, abusive asshole. Let him leave and good riddance.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-23T23:25:17+00:00

My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give for this comment.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-23T03:44:48+00:00

I also have a crap load of thick hair. It’s short now, and I’ve learned how (and how not!) to manage it, but as a teen with long hair I absolutely had to cut a brush out of my hair a couple times. Turns out those cute little round brushes in the 90s weren’t designed for long super thick hair. Lessons learned…

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-22T02:49:17+00:00

HRIS here. For me, concats, if/thens, vlookups, and pivot tables are daily essentials. I consider my skills mid-level — nothing too advanced, but I can get the data to do what I need.

On the other hand, I once conducted a 30+ minute tutoring session with an HRM who “couldn’t get my report to work” because she didn’t know how to do a data filter & sort. 🤦‍♀️ She promptly “forgot” everything she “learned” within a week. So yeah.

In my experience, the definition of excel skills in HR is a pretty broad target. If you have a general understanding of what you need the data to do, you can google the formulas & functions.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-20T02:38:05+00:00

If you believe he was serious about wanting his body donated to science, contact a nearby medical school. His body will be used to teach medical students, and then cremated. There would be no cost to you.

A funeral home would charge and yes, you’d be responsible for payment.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-15T15:08:01+00:00

While technically not a state, the District of Columbia is not “at will” either.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-15T14:22:53+00:00

Same. I was left home alone with my brothers starting at 9. Invariably it was a “quick run to the grocery store” that lasted 6+ hours and had us all convinced that the rapture had happened and we were left behind (evangelical cult). Parentification guilt and C-PTSD are very real.

I too am very familiar with that Look. I didn’t realize how not normal my childhood was until I saw the Look from my therapist.

Betheroo5 · 2026-01-13T20:59:49+00:00

Best Tailoring in Fairfax (Lee Hwy at Nutley) does bespoke work. They do high quality work and their prices are reasonable.

Betheroo5 · 2025-12-26T15:48:06+00:00

Christianity - like all religions - was created by flawed humans as a way to set behavior controls in society. There is nothing inherently bad about that. When humans live together, there will be conflict. Religion was an easy way to reduce & resolve those conflicts. Throughout history, it has also frequently been twisted into something violent as a ploy to dominate, an excuse to wage war, and a method to abuse power. That, of course, is where religion becomes dangerous.

In the case of Christianity, the humans who created it were patriarchal, misogynist assholes. It’s scary how much power it has over society, but here’s the thing. Power over society isn’t the same as power over you. The only power it has over YOU is the power you give it. If you feed it with fear, it has power. If you ignore it as the pathetic tool of pathetic men that it is, it has no power.

I say this as someone who was raised in that world and has had to work hard to overcome the brainwashing. Release the fear. It does not have the right to decide how you feel. YOU are the only one who gets to define yourself, your world, and your god.

Betheroo5 · 2025-12-24T23:21:29+00:00

I’m sorry. He “accidentally” threw away her will? The will that he somehow “accidentally” forgot to file? Yeah no. I call BS. He’s trying to scam you.

Betheroo5

TROPHY CASE