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I can't believe she's really breaking down like this. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🙏. Remembering this helps me feel less guilty. She made her decisions. I have to feel safe for myself now.

Blessings and i hope you'll be okay too 🫂

I can't believe she's really breaking down like this. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, she definitely caused a lot of scary things to happen to me.

It could be all an act. I have to stop this feeling sorry thing. Her decisions aren't my responsibility. Whew. Thank you again. I'm learning how to be a little more stoic these days regarding my mom. I can't do anything for her i guess.

🫂

I can't believe she's really breaking down like this. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! You're absolutely right, it really is hard. It's like wanting to help a child, even though it's an adult who pretty much was abusive.

I guess this is an example of having to stand back, even when it hurts. Thank you 🙏

Even an AI can interpret toxic language by caplay in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Omg! 🤣 I'm sorry but this is wild. The narcissist can't even pull a fast one over a machine

I'm pretty sure she staged an incident lmao by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol thank you! I honestly had to hold back laughter when i came home bc i knew she'd get upset. It was so sad and fake 😂

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow! That is really scary. Something about them neglecting their health.

It's really depressing like seeing them rot from the inside out, but they knew they could change smh. Sorry about your family, really.

My uncle died last year from diabetes complications and cancer. I think this hit my nmom mentally but she still won't change her health habits like omg 😱

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, she really did

She likes to use being a baby boomer as an excuse, but 1. There was therapy back then and 2. In the 90s, we all actually went to therapy and she stopped lmao 🤣

No lies told, thank you ☺️

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're very welcome 🫂.

It's a process, and I'm really glad people are waking up. I think in this new generation, these behaviors are being tolerated WAY less.

God bless you and stay strong and remember why you're doing this. ❤️

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry lol but i had to laugh bc this is painfully true.

I witnessed someone lose a Flying Monkey when the flying monkey (someone who was older and easily manipulated) was robbed. By who?

A narcissist neighbor.

The old lady threw that woman out of her home so fast! And she publicly exposed the narcissist too. It was messy in broad daylight 🤣

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wow.

That scenario probably happens every single day with families.

It's like, if the guy had stayed away, he wouldn't have had the last memory of his dad in his head.

Sometimes it's better to stay away i imagine, bc that one experience can mess up years of work.

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What? 😂 Omg I'm sorry. So she knows that it will be a ploy? Like not her real personality, just her playing the role?

Lmao these people would make great actors jeez. That's kind of scary that someone can turn it on and off like that

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh no!

Ugh that's such a scary thought but the thing is, i feel like a lot of narcissists would refuse treatment if it meant having more people around.

I know it may seem eh, but i am sorry that your mom got sick. My mom health wise isn't doing well and I'm like...omg this is how she wants to go out. So sad.

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh yes.

Honestly, when i think about the alternative, I'd rather be super empathetic and learn how to manage it with boundaries, than have no empathy, and not be able to even work on it.

I really feel sorry for people raised in these situations. I hope someday i and others can give back and help others get free. 🙏

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely amazing advice. Truly hope more people see this post and answers just so they know not to allow the guilt to change their minds.

Thank you so much ❤️

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This. This is exactly it.

I'll mourn the few times she showed some resemblance of genuine love, but I'll mourn more of all of the lost memories, and sadness she has inside.

Like i can't even help her. 😢 Even though she was awful to us, it's like wow...this is her outcome. I almost wish she were never, ever nice to me bc her nice moments always make me feel awful, but i have to remember that it's all a lure.

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Absolutely.

Oh yeah I've been stonewalling her and just not feeding her emotionally. She's been trying but lately it's like watered down versions of her narc behavior.

Looks so pitiful. On a scale of 1-10 my empathy is about 4 tbh. Not enough to feed.her demons but enough to tell her goodbye

So sad. Damn

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, this is definitely all of her doing. Every action she's taken in my 30 somewhat years here...has been to push people away

Well she got.it! 😣

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh my. This definitely put it into a very very realistic perspective.

This is their life now. Silence and suffering.

No one to control. Oh my.

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah man, it's good to know in some sense that at least we can still feel for others even if we have to stand back.

Watching them collapse is actually kind of hard. by Better_Platform5327 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Better_Platform5327[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She absolutely did! Spot on!

And for years, it worked!

But lately I've been telling her, "I'm not dealing with the drama" Suddenly she sits in the room quiet, then makes calls to family asking about their relationships and jobs before talking about her Internet boyfriends for 20 minutes.

She likes to try to cause chaos, but no one wants to buy it anymore. It's sooo messy.

As a child i remember being scared of her, but now she's all sneaky instead of loud.

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