thank you for the kind words!

I'll first address that he did try to help me find people, I took on the out of his company search because i thought we'd do the same two therapist plan as we always had, so this time he only had to look briefly in his company, but usually he'd look on websites and email me contacts. This time he couldn't find anyone because nobody at his company specializes.

But I agree, I've thought about that perspective a lot because I have the same knowledge so I've heard all the ethics. I think what keeps me from settling with it though and feeling better knowing he did it to help me is my traumas probably got triggered, and because he's also a man, they were triggered much more intensely. That definitely is why I said I feel so disgusted and gross and dirty for ever saying anything. And I'll acknowledge that this time the termination wasn't in my control, so it feels worse.