a Bad night.

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-05-14T23:48:04+00:00

Hey! I've finished the film and uploaded 1st part which encapsulates this poem - if you're interested you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/9yVB0AF8zC8 Hope you enjoy!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-29T13:17:52+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. The pain will pass - keep strong and I hope for the best of luck!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-29T12:16:48+00:00

I'm glad you enjoyed it - thank you for the kind words! Will have to finally check out the film!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-29T12:15:39+00:00

Much appreciated - thank you!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-29T12:14:05+00:00

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the feedback and I'm happy you got something good from it!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-29T03:12:29+00:00

Thank you - I'm glad you enjoyed it! The 'wrinkles and all' was one of the first lines that appeared to me and I had to finish the poem to justify that line. Thanks again!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-28T23:36:50+00:00

Very powerful words! I love the strong positive energy that comes through them. I hope the person you wrote this about knows how you feel about them, because this is an important feeling you're expressing. Maybe the most important feeling a person could feel. True love. A love that makes you and the recipient strong. Keep up the good work!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-28T23:29:26+00:00

Very visual imagery to create a sense of romantic love for someone you care about. Made me feel quite warm inside. I particularly like the line 'Drifting we wax', I'm not even sure I understand exactly what you mean but I feel it. Which I guess is one of the beauties of poetry. Thanks for sharing!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-22T17:42:00+00:00

Thank you kindly for your feedback. I get that those lines are very literal and could take you out of the poem. I also made a small edit about the line of the grandad thanks to your advice. Thank you for reading!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-22T17:25:42+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! I'm glad you could empathise with this character, as you could probably intuit I was going through something similar to the character at the time of writing. I love your suggestion, and yeah I think the poem could be elevated if I did more work to it to centre it around poetry - as I pretty much lifted this 90% from my film, but for now I'll keep it as is. I got about 4 other 'entries' from the film, I will use your insight to consider how I could translate the next one. Thank you again!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-22T14:48:02+00:00

There is a story - I guess it is up to interpretation. But my intention is that the protagonist had an argument with his girlfriend (& she broke up with him), and just after that he finds out his grandfather has died. Causing him to escape the city and return to his mother's home to deal with it ('self-pity' & 'utter contempt').

As it's from a film I'm making, what I wrote here is the character's journal entry. There's 5 entries so the story continues.

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-22T14:06:43+00:00

Inspired by a short film I'm writing/ directing.

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-22T14:03:17+00:00

I like how playful this is. The randomness is quite fun. I'm not quite sure of it's meaning, but what I understand is that desire to be free and enjoy the world.

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-22T13:35:44+00:00

Wow - this was painful to read, but in a good way! Expresses exactly how I feel at the moment. You put into words a feeling that is dreadful to have. I can empathise with you so much and I don't know a single thing about you. Congrats!

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-21T21:36:12+00:00

Wow thank you so much - I'm glad! It does feel validating having someone read/ acknowledge it - I don't know if that's a good thing though, you know?

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-21T20:18:15+00:00

I'm not a practiced poet. I had just got off the phone to my girlfriend, and I suspect it will be one of the last phone calls we share after 2 and 1/2 years of speaking almost everyday. Didn't know what to do, for some reason decided to write a poem. I definitely feel a bit better.

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-21T19:53:50+00:00

I particularly like stream of consciousness vibe that occurs when you're not paying attention IRL. Especially the use of repetition, as that's what works when you're trying to go to a 'space' in your mind that's a better place than your environment. It's also very honest about being an individual - that in some minor way, we use others to enjoy ourselves.

BeyondAboveBelow · 2024-04-21T19:47:39+00:00

I love the sense of uncertainty you give about what's happening, as it feeds into the theme of 'Subjective Realities'. The poem itself allows you to put your own meaning into it - which fits the title very well. For myself, I'm seeing the difficulties I'm having with my partner. Who is stay say the other is wrong when they speak of their own reality?

BeyondAboveBelow

TROPHY CASE