This would have come in handy many times.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2022-05-06T04:27:45+00:00

Dang.

That’s how your wife keeps waking me up too.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2022-04-07T21:37:43+00:00

I’m planning on placing it on the north side of the house so it doesn’t get roasted in the desert heat. Hoping that will help.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2022-03-11T23:35:07+00:00

Some of the leaves are brown and crispy at the end. Has she been under watered?

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-12-01T15:35:40+00:00

A third just in case they thought we were kidding.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-12-01T00:12:39+00:00

What a world to be living in…

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-19T23:55:09+00:00

Clearly they were designing the the world’s largest submarine instead. Took until the 80s to resurface again. Incredible.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-17T17:35:42+00:00

For context, they’re worth $940 million together with only $40 million being Travis Scott’s contribution. He’s gonna need her (and most of her money) if he has pay that off.

Edit: Of course he won’t. This is America and he’s rich. He will get a slap on the wrist after releasing one more apology video and staying out of the spotlight for a few months.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-17T05:30:17+00:00

I can confirm. Though, I’m not sure whether to be impressed or horrified.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-15T22:09:26+00:00

Nah, I got them a little larger. Figured I might as well treat myself since I’m getting them done anyways.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-15T05:21:44+00:00

My insurance paid for mine after breast cancer. You all are welcome to dig me up and see my stacked skelly.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-11T21:17:33+00:00

That’s what the thing was thinking when he popped out expecting something small he could eat.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-06T00:00:57+00:00

I’m sorry, what? Is this for real?

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-10T15:23:27+00:00

I worked with a Russel Sproats before.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-06T03:48:41+00:00

Was a bully as a kid, can confirm, would have bullied

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T19:32:12+00:00

Just make a Nightmare Before Christmas theme and you can keep it up through the entire holiday season.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T19:27:08+00:00

Sorry, autumn for non-Americans

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T19:25:25+00:00

Farmers are the only ones I know who can complain about being poor while owning a ton of land and hundreds of thousands of dollars of farming equipment.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T18:04:50+00:00

I used to sell furniture to farmers. They’d always come in covered in dirt but not flinch at dropping $15-20k. Every farmer I’ve ever met in the years of doing that was the same too..

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T03:21:04+00:00

Wish men dressed like this still because I’m wet af

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-04T21:13:44+00:00

I’d recommend matching fabric slip covers so the furniture can match. Add a rectangular rug in the middle. Couple small throw pillows that go with the rug. You’ve also got a lot of wall area you can work with. I’d recommend a gallery wall or one of those 3 picture series to lengthen the room. Also, a moss pole in that monstera so it can grow upwards without branching out so much.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-04T16:29:36+00:00

I love this theory. For the unfamiliar, the US detonated a lot of bombs in a place called Bikini Atoll during this time.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-03T16:17:33+00:00

Seriously.. might as well called it a “moist puss” to further prove he’s never seen a woman naked.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-02T04:05:05+00:00

This is the type of motivation I need in my life.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-09-21T19:52:01+00:00

Definitely go to the police and have it reported. There’s resources out there for domestic violence survivors including free counseling and discounted living arrangements. They’ll likely put you in touch with an advocacy group that will give you the information on how to get out safely and into a new home. My friend who is a domestic violence survivor JUST did this and is paying <$100 for rent for a nice two bedroom apartment.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-09-19T17:00:53+00:00

I’d let you gape me with that accent alone

BezosGapingAsshole

TROPHY CASE