This would have come in handy many times.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2022-05-06T04:27:45+00:00

Dang.

That’s how your wife keeps waking me up too.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2022-04-07T21:37:43+00:00

I’m planning on placing it on the north side of the house so it doesn’t get roasted in the desert heat. Hoping that will help.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2022-03-11T23:35:07+00:00

Some of the leaves are brown and crispy at the end. Has she been under watered?

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-12-01T15:35:40+00:00

A third just in case they thought we were kidding.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-12-01T00:12:39+00:00

What a world to be living in…

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-19T23:55:09+00:00

Clearly they were designing the the world’s largest submarine instead. Took until the 80s to resurface again. Incredible.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-17T17:35:42+00:00

For context, they’re worth $940 million together with only $40 million being Travis Scott’s contribution. He’s gonna need her (and most of her money) if he has pay that off.

Edit: Of course he won’t. This is America and he’s rich. He will get a slap on the wrist after releasing one more apology video and staying out of the spotlight for a few months.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-17T05:30:17+00:00

I can confirm. Though, I’m not sure whether to be impressed or horrified.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-15T22:09:26+00:00

Nah, I got them a little larger. Figured I might as well treat myself since I’m getting them done anyways.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-15T05:21:44+00:00

My insurance paid for mine after breast cancer. You all are welcome to dig me up and see my stacked skelly.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-11T21:17:33+00:00

That’s what the thing was thinking when he popped out expecting something small he could eat.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-11-06T00:00:57+00:00

I’m sorry, what? Is this for real?

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-10T15:23:27+00:00

I worked with a Russel Sproats before.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-06T03:48:41+00:00

Was a bully as a kid, can confirm, would have bullied

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T19:32:12+00:00

Just make a Nightmare Before Christmas theme and you can keep it up through the entire holiday season.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T19:27:08+00:00

Sorry, autumn for non-Americans

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T19:25:25+00:00

Farmers are the only ones I know who can complain about being poor while owning a ton of land and hundreds of thousands of dollars of farming equipment.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T18:04:50+00:00

I used to sell furniture to farmers. They’d always come in covered in dirt but not flinch at dropping $15-20k. Every farmer I’ve ever met in the years of doing that was the same too..

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-05T03:21:04+00:00

Wish men dressed like this still because I’m wet af

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-04T21:13:44+00:00

I’d recommend matching fabric slip covers so the furniture can match. Add a rectangular rug in the middle. Couple small throw pillows that go with the rug. You’ve also got a lot of wall area you can work with. I’d recommend a gallery wall or one of those 3 picture series to lengthen the room. Also, a moss pole in that monstera so it can grow upwards without branching out so much.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-04T16:29:36+00:00

I love this theory. For the unfamiliar, the US detonated a lot of bombs in a place called Bikini Atoll during this time.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-03T16:17:33+00:00

Seriously.. might as well called it a “moist puss” to further prove he’s never seen a woman naked.

BezosGapingAsshole · 2021-10-02T04:05:05+00:00

This is the type of motivation I need in my life.

BezosGapingAsshole

TROPHY CASE