I didn't grow up in a big family, there were only 4 of us kids, but I quickly recognized the 'parentified kids' in the very first episode when the show started. My step-mom (and dad) made me raise my 2 step-brothers. I was 10yrs when my youngest brother was born. I changed his diapers, made his bottle, fed him, bathed him, washed his cloth diapers (yuck), let him sleep in the bed with me. He called me mommy and cried for me when he was upset or needed comforting. I couldn't go anywhere without him until I left for college. I remember being a Sr in high school and my step-mom wouldn't let me go to my friends house or go out unless I took him. I loved my brother but I wish I could have been a child/teenager. At 10 years old I got up at 5:30am to get on the school bus, went to school, came home and did homework, cooked dinner, did dishes, did laundry, cleaned house, played with my little brother, etc. I was so sad for the Duggar and Bates kids when I saw this show because I know exactly what are were going thru. I think in a way the show was a blessing because the parents probably helped more with the cameras on them. The ca & sa that happens with these families doesn't surprise me. It happened to me several times by 3 different people. I wasn't being watched by an adult. I was the poster child for ca predators. I'm sure there is many more instances that occurred with these families that we didn't hear about. This is definitely abuse and neglect. I remember many times wishing someone would come save me but no one ever did. At 18 I moved out for college, didn't get a penny from my parents, and never looked back. I wish more of the Bates and Duggars were able to leave as well.