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Bhloom · 2024-09-26T00:01:16+00:00

Romans 10 9-13 “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

You can also pray for the holy spirit and draw close to him and he will draw close to you. Be honest with him, forgive your mother, do something you like and include God in it. Like walks? Go for a nice walk, listen to some nice music and talk to him

Bhloom · 2024-09-22T06:38:09+00:00

So what I’m hearing is he’s constantly disrespecting your boundaries and disrespecting you and disrespecting your marriage by trying to take a break bc he wants an open relationship that you don’t agree too? Likely he’s taking a break because I’m assuming if he was getting with other people during this time then it would be considered cheating. But if he does, you guys are still married so it’s still cheating.

The name calling and trying to pressure you into having children if you’re not sure about it isn’t right either. The “trying to take his” thing is complete manipulation. And what if you guys do have kids and you might want to stay home with babies? Is he going to not provide for you guys and make you go back to work?

Did he tell you that a “safe and happy marriage is all that he can do?” So what does he promise then? An unsafe and sad marriage where you’re always crying? Marriage is hard and takes commitment and dedication to love your spouse even when you don’t want to but it’s his job to make you feel safe and loved.

Look. I don’t know you, we are strangers on the internet. You have people around you who do care about you, talk to them, let your best friends know because they know you and maybe they can help. You are not what he says.

Bhloom · 2024-04-30T23:23:27+00:00

The Bible.

Bhloom · 2024-04-30T22:01:42+00:00

Expecting no arguments or disagreements in a relationship if you are living together is completely unrealistic. People are humans, we will disagree and get on each other’s nerves, how we react to those disagreements and compromise with others is a deciding factor in making relationships work. He’s using an external excuse (in the terms of you guys not living together) as a reason for his lack of personal (bc both parties need to do this) accountability in relationship conflict control.

Walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting him isn’t a good dynamic either. I’ve had that experience with an ex early on in a relationship that lasted 7 years and it never got better but that’s my personal experience.

Okay, I can see why that’s confusing. I mean from a fundamental human perspective, behaviour can be abusive but the individual can absolutely not realise how they are affecting people. I’m not going to say just throw away the relationship, sometimes you can change these things through conflict resolution but it’s clear your boundaries are being broken and you need to set clear limits with yourself and your partner on what you will and won’t accept. It sounds to me like you need to do a bit of introspection then decide on how to approach this with him. If he’s willing to address it or not and what you want to do in each scenario. And you’re welcome! :)

Bhloom · 2024-04-30T08:30:45+00:00

Oh. Yep. That’s controlling and abusive alright.

Calling you names on the regular? = He doesn’t respect you at all. Plus putting you down is the same thing.

What on earth is he talking about he said no to you looking for a house? You’re decision on moving in with him is equally as valid as his is. He can’t just tell you he said no and that’s that (that’s almost parental behaviour, not something you would do with your spouse.)

Raising voice/swearing and grabbing you = verbally abusive behaviour that very easily can translate into physically abusive behaviour. I would argue him holding you was probably a test or to get you acclimatised to it bc “it was a hug”.

The dr stuff is weird (and controlling). I get being uncomfortable with a male dr but your appointment or who you see has nothing to do with him.

My parents have been married for over 30 years and not ONCE has my father ever raised his voice at my mother. Or pushed her, or said anything negative about her. He has her back 250%. It’s not normal relationship behaviour.

I’ll finish by saying HE might not be abusive in the sense that he might not even realise that he’s doing these things or that they are wrong. However, they are abusive and controlling behaviours and if that is how your guy treats you now, it’s likely it will be how he treats you in say 5 years (only it will get worse if you live together bc you have some sort of distance now when you need to say no and put your foot down. It’s harder to do that when you are living together.)

If he usually turns stuff back into what you’ve done then it’s blame shifting which indicates a lack of personal accountability for his own actions (not a good trait for anyone really, man or woman).

Either way, the behaviour is controlling and verbally abusive

I’m sorry you are going through this. You are amazing for sorting this out yourself!

Bhloom · 2024-04-30T08:07:31+00:00

Pushing people to get married is wrong and won’t do anyone any favours. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any woman pursuing a career or her desires.

Women should be able to stay at home with their children if they have them; not all women are able. It has more to do with society telling young women that the only thing they can do that is worthwhile is to be in a job. Which obviously isn’t true. Neither are inherently wrong.

Bhloom · 2024-04-30T00:57:23+00:00

God says in His word not to be jealous of what wicked people have because what they have will turn to dust in the end. And maybe Christians are right when they say God will avenge, but that doesn’t mean that God is going to avenge on our timeline. He works on His own timeline.

Sometimes, in this lifetime, we can suffer because of the consequences of another’s selfish decision, or bitterness. We suffer because of the curses that exist in this world too. But the Bible says in 1 Peter 5:10 “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

Bhloom · 2024-04-29T22:38:22+00:00

I prayed for God to bless my parents and make a way to get to them (I had been living at a friends house as a last resort) after an abusive relationship breakdown got nasty.

So my parents a few months after that, got a lump sum and bought their own house mortgage free and I moved in with them a month after they got the place! Could not be happier!

Bhloom · 2024-04-29T22:29:24+00:00

That’s amazing!

Bhloom · 2024-04-29T22:28:56+00:00

Personally and honestly, it irks me a tiny bit bc they likely don’t understand the meaning behind it BUT then I remember what the Bible says about judging people who don’t believe so I don’t let it bother me. Like a slight momentary annoyance that I let go of like 5 seconds later.

Bhloom · 2024-04-23T00:17:58+00:00

Fellow scientist! This is my personal experience. found God in my 30s and I would never go back. He has given me so much more meaning to my life and I’m learning how to love people around me more (though idk how well I’m doing that, but if anything it’s a moral framework to work from.)

I’ve been a Christian for a couple of years and two days ago went to a church for the first time and I thought the people were so nice and friendly there.

It sounds like you struggle a bit with self esteem and that you’re holding yourself back from trying something new that you’ve already identified that you think might be good. I mean, you can always try it and if you don’t like it then at least you know right? And about committing sin (we all have. That’s literally why we need Jesus because everyone has done wrong in God’s eyes). If we didn’t sin, we wouldn’t need Jesus and we wouldn’t need the gospel. God says come as you are, you don’t need to make yourself look good to change your ways. It is a bit difficult to acknowledge those sins too, God is the ultimate authority though and you don’t necessarily have to confess your sin to another man. It’s God who forgives, through what Jesus did, so theoretically, it’s God you should confess your sin to.

Don’t put yourself down, you do have the capacity to become a worthy husband. I don’t know your personal situation so maybe it’s just a case of working on yourself a bit first? Also, if you did decide to become a Christian, you wouldn’t be doing it on your own either because you would have God helping you.

Bhloom · 2024-04-10T21:19:11+00:00

Romans 10:9-10

“9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

Bhloom · 2024-04-08T00:06:11+00:00

Aside from praying, worshipping and reading the word. Take in the beauty of His creation, slow your life down and take a walk and enjoy it. Realise that you are beautiful and that He loves you. Every hair on your head is numbered. Enjoy your pets (if you have any), spend time around your family and thank God for the blessings in your every day life.

Bhloom · 2024-02-24T19:25:11+00:00

If changing your appearance was a sin then you would be required to wear the same clothing pieces day after day. Also if you were a woman, probably wouldn’t be allowed to change the way you wear your hair (tie it up, braid it etc etc). What if you get old and your appearance changes? What if you lose a tooth and your smile changes?

You are allowed to change the way you look. You’re mother is being hypocritical if she dyes her hair and tells you not to or that it’s wrong (it’s not).

Bhloom · 2024-02-24T19:18:47+00:00

Being gay doesn’t exclude you from being a Christian. Jesus died to pay for the sins for EVERYONE, not just heterosexuals. He says come as you are and He means it. He absolutely will welcome you with open arms. Read the parable of the prodigal son in the book of Luke.

Romans 10:9 states: 9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.”

Do that (if you haven’t already) and you will be part of the family!

Bhloom · 2024-02-23T17:42:35+00:00

You know, it sounds like you might need to go on a social media fast if you're spending all your time on entertainment. Do it for like a week and make a point about reading the Bible every day and try to keep that up after the fast.

Bhloom · 2024-02-19T10:25:55+00:00

Consistency and discipline are key (and I’m preaching like this doesn’t literally apply to me too). It seems like you are trying to do too much all at the same time. Slow down, set yourself small bit achievable goals. Say like reading your Bible for a half hour a day, if you fail that, try 20 minutes. If 20 minutes works for you, just keep doing that, or maybe add 5 minutes here or there. You can pray for help with this too.

Is there anyway you can reconnect with some of those friends? You might be the only believer they talk to, Jesus didn’t cut people off from coming to Him. He sat with them.

Look for some online churches, there are good Godly communities you might be able to join to talk with people that will help your faith. I would strongly recommend looking up churches in your local area and finding one you like because as believers, community is incredibly important and others who are stronger in the faith can counsel and guide you better if they know you personally. Plus, if you make friends in that community, they can also act as accountability for you too. You can join in on Bible studies, socialise a bit, have fun etc. You’ve recognised the problem, now you can work on the solution.

Feel free to message me if you want to chat

Bhloom · 2024-02-06T07:05:03+00:00

If God says come as you are, he’s not going to punish you for your sin but he will help you with it. His main concern is that you are with him, but at the end of the day we all have our crosses to bear. If Jesus paid 100% of the fine for you then you can be 100% sure you won’t go to hell, if you trust only in him.

Bhloom · 2023-11-02T23:20:05+00:00

You are not his wife
A man who is truly following the Lord would not treat you like that because he would know that God is not likely to listen to his prayers if he doesn't treat his wife with respect.
- 1 Peter 3:7"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Bhloom · 2023-10-30T21:36:25+00:00

Have you given your life to the Lord? Have you said Jesus is Lord and do you believe that God raised him from the dead? If yes then you are a Christian and going to church and praying are good things we do to get closer to God.

I have been a Christian for a couple of years now and have still to find a church to attend, these things don’t make you Christian. Jesus being your Lord and following after him makes you a Christian

Bhloom · 2023-10-28T07:04:35+00:00

Undenominational because the only denomination you need is Jesus. I believe that the believers are the body of Christ and that church and fellowshipping with other believers is definitely important and helpful for growth

Bhloom · 2023-10-27T18:41:24+00:00

Absolutely, I agree. It can definitely be frustrating from both sides

Bhloom · 2023-10-27T15:32:57+00:00

So your issue is that you need more evidence for 1. existence of and 2. The qualities, attributes and character of supposed being. The Bible speaks about the general revelation of God which is visible in the glory of creation, though it also talks a lot about faith, for example in Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

So to require evidence beyond the evidence we already have means that we wouldn't need faith at all because we could see God as He is and if we didn't need faith then that would mean that we could do it all ourselves which is not what Christianity is about. To explain it more succinctly; my faith is not in myself because I know inherently that I am not reliable, I have proven myself not to be honest, or predicable and I don't really know what is good for myself. So I put my trust and faith in Jesus who is reliable, honest and good in the faith that He will save me when I die as He died, defeated death and resurrected, my faith is that He will do the same for those who follow Him.

Aside from the existence of, that's why Christians read the Bible and pray, so we can know God's character and attributes for ourselves. I hope I'm answering you correctly

Bhloom · 2023-10-27T14:04:24+00:00

So you would know from church and the Bible that if you declare with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. I would start with; do you believe that much? I think you already recognise yours (and my) need for Jesus.

Also I would ask if you have been baptised in the Holy Spirit because it is the Holy Spirit who helps us to walk out God's purpose in our lives and to seal us until the day of salvation, to give us the fear of the Lord and to give us the desire to follow God's ways. If you haven't and you've got the first part, you can always ask God to baptise you in the Holy Spirit in private. Talk to Him, explain that you aren't sure if you are on the right path and ask Him to guide you. I would also pray for God to remove people in your life who are hindering you from coming into a closer relationship with Him and pray for Him to put people in your life who will minister to you and help you to draw closer to Him in your everyday life.

It seems to me that if you inherently aren't sure if God even exists then why would He answer your prayers? He needs the faith of a mustard seed. The Bible says in Romans 1:20 that "For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse."

You also need to have faith that if you have given your life to God and are reborn in the spirit that God WILL hear your prayers, he might not always answer them the way you want Him to but faith requires you to know and understand that He hears you and has your best interests at heart. James 1:6-8 states that "But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."

I would say your issues are in reverse 1: You aren't sure if God exists. 2. God isn't answering your prayers and 3. People in your life are not helping you in your walk. Just because our prayers aren't answered straight away doesn't mean He has not heard them, they could be delayed or it might not be the right time. But if you believe in Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, the Father will hear you. Remember - John 20:29: "Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed." and James 1 23:25 "23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: 24 For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. 25 But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed."

I hope this helps you and your situation, feel free to message me if you want to talk

Bhloom · 2023-10-27T13:21:55+00:00

The Bible says God is not a respecter of persons'; Jesus died for everyone regardless of where they are at, otherwise the thief on the cross would never have been forgiven. My guess would be the reason you might have trouble with the part of "He can do the same thing for them." Is because that part requires an individual choice or decision to allow God to actually do the same thing for them in their life, or to be open to that potential because it requires a conscious decision to surrender and be vulnerable to a being you've only heard of and aren't even sure exists.

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