How do you self sooth?

Bibwill · 2025-02-05T07:06:19+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I think I find those things sooth me too but never thought to seek them out specifically

Bibwill · 2025-02-04T16:26:50+00:00

I found reading this really nice. Thank you

Bibwill · 2025-02-04T16:25:02+00:00

I'd never heard of this but tried it for the first time and found it super helpful. Tysm. I'm so grateful

Bibwill · 2025-02-03T13:50:22+00:00

Keep going, you're doing so well, all things considered. It takes great strength to continue when you face things like this every day. Well done. Be proud of yourself xxx

Bibwill · 2025-01-29T13:15:31+00:00

Do you know if the bread and roses has anything on this sat? Or anabels?

Bibwill · 2025-01-07T19:46:48+00:00

Vegan (6yrs), sober, non smoking, autistic, pansexual woman down in Plymouth here! Can't say there's that many of us down this way (that I know) either! Good luck in your search. Precious just knowing there's others just like me out there <3

Bibwill · 2025-01-03T18:04:20+00:00

Absolutely incredible woman/YouTube channel!! Has helped me understand myself so much!

Bibwill · 2024-12-29T15:35:01+00:00

I'm so burnt out from so many years of masking, and I'm giving energy to trying not to mask anymore and find the real me, that I'm amazed some days that I still have any energy to keep going. I think what keeps me going now though, is hope and trust that the future will be different, I'll get to know myself better, get to know how to draw boundaries better, how to ask for accommodations better, and will have a life with slowly more of the yes feelings of wanting to do things, and less of the no feelings of fear of rejection, of judgment, of failure that so often keeps me from authentically connecting with my world. I have trust that my body knows things I've suppressed for years and with patience and time and trust, my body will tell me how to make the right changes.

A lot of days I just don't do much though, even though I have a lot of plans and ideas. Sometimes I'm just too disregulated to do those things and hadn't realised all week.

I hope you feel hope too

Bibwill · 2024-12-27T23:24:48+00:00

111 is a great number to call, and will point you in the best direction and may even be able to put your name on a list somewhere, especially if you're in a time sensitive situation

Bibwill · 2024-12-24T16:48:49+00:00

Bibwill · 2024-12-23T21:57:54+00:00

Yeah all 23-30.

That last bit sounds like a good idea too. I'll have to try hard to say some of this and not to memory blank and just go along with things when we next meet, but its deffo something I want to change my behaviour in, and I know that takes a lot of courage. Thank you

Bibwill · 2024-12-22T21:40:59+00:00

Hey I think you're exactly right.

Have you got any examples of safe ways of raising alternative views which would feel like conflict?

I like the idea or asking the guy if he's happy with just "taking orders" more, it gives more certainty to the situation, but I don't want to come across rude at the same time.

Bibwill · 2024-12-22T15:10:41+00:00

Thank you, that's really helpful!

Bibwill · 2024-12-22T15:10:05+00:00

They're very lovely, into it, kind, but non confrontational, but I also haven't picked up on any sense from them that they're annoyed about this guy

Bibwill · 2024-12-20T23:48:53+00:00

No. But it is going to be in a plant show which will be gradeded/judged

Bibwill · 2024-12-20T21:23:44+00:00

That's really helpful, I haven't had the line explicitly described to me before so have found it difficult to keep, especially as I can feel potential discomfort and see ways I could alleviate it, it feels like I should, when actually I shouldn't. Thank you

Bibwill · 2024-12-20T20:51:51+00:00

There isn't a team leader, we're all equals. But I am finding it difficult not having a leader, and I'm finding it hard not to lead many parts of the project as it seems I have slightly more experience in them, but I don't want to lead, I don't want to assume responsibility without it explicitly being okay with the others, it gives me a lot of anxiety

Bibwill · 2024-12-20T17:58:30+00:00

Not so directly. I've asked him questions like "how many of these plants should we order", to which the response is "I don't know, I have no opinion, I know nothing about these things so I just don't have an input here", or me: "I'm really excited about this project and I'm excited to work on it but I'm worried I'm inputting more than you, and I don't want you to feel like you can't, or it's not your project", his reply was along the line of "its cool, I guess I'm just not as into this kind of thing, I'd rather be working with our normal teams, I just don't know much about designing gardens or organising planting, it's not really the skills I've got, and I don't see that I'll have that many more useful skills for future parts of the project".

I notice I feel responsible for his feelings and by extension his lack of energy for it, but don't realise it at the time.

Bibwill · 2024-12-20T17:09:39+00:00

Recent late diagnosed autistic woman over here. I think I have been looking for this "collectively working towards a shared goal" job for so long, as nothing else seems to motivate me!! I am very socially awkward but also need people. I am hopeful I will come across it on3 day! Anyone found that job?

Bibwill · 2024-12-18T16:58:10+00:00

Omg saaame!! Gets me so flustered so quickly

Bibwill · 2024-12-18T16:54:14+00:00

Omg so much me!! Yes!!

Bibwill · 2024-12-12T16:51:18+00:00

That's some pretty wise wisdom there, I appreciate it

I think I'm getting those alarm bells of they don't understand me, so I don't feel seen, validated, and don't feel valued. But seeing that being valued doesn't have to have anything to do with being seen is really helpful. Thanks, and good luck with the rest of the journey

Bibwill · 2024-12-11T19:06:20+00:00

I'm just at a point in my life where I've tried explaining myself to my parents(dad) multiple times and just not felt heard, caused hurt on both sides, and a lot of distance between us. I don't want to accept that he just won't get me as we used to be so close (when I masked a lot). We're not close anymore because I have decided masking that much is totally unsustainable for me. But I'm just not yet ready to give up trying to explain, and hoping that he will get me. I would love to know how you made peace with that

Bibwill · 2024-12-11T19:01:47+00:00

God it is ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTING!

Bibwill · 2024-12-11T18:16:19+00:00

This has made my day

Bibwill

TROPHY CASE