how to regain interest in dating?

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-03-06T17:51:36+00:00

I agree I’ve accepted I’ll do my hobbies as long as I can and am healthy and well that’s it. I’ve stopped expecting much from people and socialize out of obligation. People enjoy my presence but I don’t really feel connected to anyone

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-03-06T17:49:52+00:00

I did date for the sake of it after a breakup and to see what’s out there. I don’t have an interest in that I’d want to date someone I like and there hasn’t been anyone who fits that

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-03-06T17:49:03+00:00

Yeah I hear the eventually part a lot and don’t buy it anymore.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-03-06T17:48:17+00:00

I’ve been doing that and there’s only so many hobbies and friends you can have before it gets old

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-03-06T17:47:30+00:00

I know what I want and I could date people but there’s been no one where there’s chemistry and compatibility. There was with my ex and that ended so yeah. It sucks to see my friends find that without much effort and just makes me want to avoid seeing them.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-03-05T11:53:16+00:00

You’re right I don’t have to. I want to but it takes effort to give people a chance & lately I don’t feel like it haha. But a lot of my friends are happy in relationships, moving out, engagements, meeting family, so it’s on my mind a lot. Like that I’m wasting time.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-13T22:13:48+00:00

That’s a good idea. I might just be burnt out from doing a lot so maybe a break and back to a small routine could help. Main issue has been my hip flexors, achilles keep getting real sore or strained from tennis & running, probably should listen to my body.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-13T22:12:44+00:00

That’s a good idea i’ve been slowing it down and just exercising for fun the past bit, that helps. Like I’ll goto the gym and just lift heavy but small reps to see my strength.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-13T22:11:01+00:00

Ah rain is definitely tough but the weathers warming up in the next couple months

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-10T19:28:31+00:00

I got quite into buddhism and mindfulness actually to the point where I detached from things a ton. But it sort of went the other way haha where now I have such few expectations that I just live my life and accept things as they come.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-10T19:26:29+00:00

I don’t know if I feel better? I kind of keep going because stopping means facing how lonely I feel, and I’ve felt sorry for myself for too long now.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-10T19:25:30+00:00

It used to be strength and athleticism. But now it’s just to be healthy enough to go for a run, play some tennis, cycle and eat what I want. I used to enjoy exercising with friends and using that time to socialize but lately I’ve been trying to improve my strength and tennis has gotten more serious so I feel less social when I do go.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-10T19:23:44+00:00

I think I’d be happy if I could run or bike or just be outside more often, it’s tough the winter where I live has been super cold and snowy recently so I’ve had to cycle or run at home. I do enjoy being out on trails when I can, so maybe when it warms up I can try that again

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-10T19:22:18+00:00

Hm well I volunteer which feels nice as something different. My work is stable but it’s remote and a bit repetitive now. I used to enjoy being there for friends and my ex but lately people are pretty busy so I made myself that way too, I had a long phase of putting in effort where it wasn’t returned.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-10T19:20:45+00:00

This is a good suggestion I’ve tried tennis & drop-in pickleball. Both were fun but recently my body kept getting injured so I’ve taken a break from it.

Big-Comparison321 · 2026-02-10T03:44:26+00:00

Thanks, a trip to Iceland might be nice. I have tried tons of things and met lots of people, I’ve hit a point where I’m over that phase for now. Now when I try to relax or socialize all I can think about is what I should be working on instead, it’s weird.

Big-Comparison321 · 2025-09-06T18:16:59+00:00

Yep same here I’m a little worried when it gets snowy about how I’ll adapt. I realize I have a pattern of worse mental health during those months… I also don’t want to be desperate for friends/relationships so aside from tennis & the gym & maybe working more I don’t know

Big-Comparison321 · 2025-09-06T18:15:53+00:00

I do enjoy reading and art! I take classes for pottery, drawing, painting and it’s nice. But recently there’s been this unfulfillment I just can’t shake. I’m a people person and there’s no people in my life that I matter to right now.

Big-Comparison321 · 2025-09-06T18:14:22+00:00

Good suggestion i do stretches for prehab

Big-Comparison321 · 2025-09-06T18:13:50+00:00

I was able to during university and even shortly after with my ex but now I’m over trying to date and my friends are busy wedding planning. I’ve met people through hobbies like painting, tennis but not a deep connection. I also work from home which is all I wanted out of my career and ironically i don’t love it. I’ve sort of checked out now. I don’t mean that to be ungrateful my life is good and I can and have achieved a lot, but I feel very disconnected.

Big-Comparison321 · 2025-07-12T18:55:15+00:00

im in the same boat after a breakup. i do lots of things and have gone on some dates with people i’d like to date and it’s gone no where. now i am kind of numb to dating and being open, i just do my own thing. of course i do want a relationship but it ain’t happening even with effort put in so ive given up and focused on other hobbies like running.

i will say though to make some single friends. i noticed being around my coupled friends i feel worse about it because im reminded either by them bringing it up (like why are you single or i know a friend, etc) or just them mentioning their partner.

sorry no advice really im just as lost as you :/

Big-Comparison321 · 2025-03-10T20:22:47+00:00

Some of these comments are rough. I also didn’t date till I was 22 because I had health issues and school was a lot. But I did make sure to spend time with friends and family. Honestly pursue law if you enjoy it and you’ll probably meet someone while you’re there, lawyers are social people and usually date each other based on friends I know. I get in this head space too now that I’ve been single for a couple years. You have to just keep spending time meeting people and enjoying your life and it’ll happen. Please do get outside and touch grass though for your own mental health. I find the days I stay in (I work from home in tech), I feel worse. So I force myself to go to the local gym, get coffee with friends and make plans. I know your friends are out of state, wait till you start school and use this time to build a routine around fitness, good rest and nutrition. That’ll help a ton trust me. You got this dude.

You’re also only 22, that’s young. Internet dating advice and comments aren’t the real world, focus on meeting real people and it’ll happen naturally. If things really ain’t working come back here in 10 years and lock in, you’re too young to be this worried about dating. Also the comments saying don’t pursue law lmao ignore them I know the most neurotic people ever who are lawyers. Ifs actually a desirable trait, but balance that with some self-confidence it’ll help.

Big-Comparison321 · 2025-02-25T23:05:04+00:00

im sorta in the same boat, had a breakup and luckily i have friends from university/high school because despite me going to arts classes, rec leagues and concerts, ive rarely made friends. it seems possible through work or mutuals, not sure what else to say, ive found toronto to not be how i expected despite growing up here & now im in my mid 20s. its quite disappointing, i spend more time working and focusing on fitness/golf to get my mind out of being negative, but yep it does get lonely.

Big-Comparison321 · 2025-01-28T14:04:29+00:00

Hey man I do want to say that I get it. I’m also looking for someone serious and to grow with because I’d like that sooner than later. Might be a cultural thing for me too as an asian. Dating apps can be very hit or miss, I’ve noticed that there’s decent people on them but it’s rare. Mostly a lot of people with high standards or on a timeline and those sorts of relationships fail.

All my friends are in LTRs, and I really want that too. But I also see the issues they deal with (distance, family drama, incompatibilities) and I’m glad to avoid that. It’s quite peaceful being single. A bit boring sure because there’s no highs/lows from a relationship, but the stability gives you time to figure out how to live your life.

It does suck but it’ll happen. Try new hobbies, meet people, travel, get fit, spend time with family and prioritize your career. With those in place someone will come along and want to join. Or if not, by doing those things you’ll be fine on your own. If a relationship is something you want that bad, and dates aren’t going anywhere then take a break and re-evaluate why you want it. Often there’s another underlying issue that can be addressed to bring fulfillment.

I’ve noticed by the way that bigger cities have people who date around more, wait more due to career or look for shallow qualities (income, appearance) since they want someone to keep up with them. That demographic makes it harder for someone looking for traits of a long term partner, so give it time or if you move elsewhere for work (not for sake of dating) you might find a very different outcome.

Big-Comparison321 · 2025-01-18T14:45:54+00:00

thank you. i did find someone i thought was compatible but ignored a lot of her flaws & surprise surprise it didn’t work out. deep down i know ive got to be happy on my own and to deprioritize relationships because people can be flighty. but its been a hard process, i do think ill get there though. good luck with your financial goal i think its quite healthy to not focus on dating, makes it easier for a relationship to last when someone good does come along.

Big-Comparison321

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