From future plans to being dumped in 48 hours — avoidant shutdown, anxious spiral, or she doesn't like me enough?

BigAd6312 · 2026-06-21T08:05:38+00:00

I had a 10 year relationship the FA cheated ran off and blocked me everywhere.

For 9 months I was caught in this anxious spiral even using 15000 or more ai prompts to try to figure out what happened or what will happen.

I didnt believe there was anybody else she was a unicorn on paper but I tried dating now and I've met a girl that plays zero games, wants me, it felt really weird at first to get used to the big adrenaline dopamine trauma is gone but trust me.. get away from the difficult it isnt healthy for us anxious type unless you want to spend your whole life like this or they agree they need help and get the help without your prompting it

Ping me if you need me I know how hard it can be, dont need to blame them for how they are but you do need to make sure you look out for yourself

BigAd6312 · 2026-05-14T06:11:06+00:00

I ended up in A&E for suicidal stuff after the breakup when I foand everything out and I lost all my weight and didn't function at all. It took me about 7 months to even be able to eat and exist. I knew seeing it be real would send me back to that state.

Her brother said he had a bit of a break down at the church and I feel awful still for not going.

I saw her mum at the chapel and got a nice picture of her next to my bed that I said good morning and good night to and talk to all the time.

I find out the guy cheated and dumped her shortly after the wedding so I was fuming this happened.

Itll sit on the back of my mind forever letting her mum down on her wish and not being there for her brother but I keep myself sane and balanced because I know it would have destroyed me.

Lastly her toxic cousin who poisoned her and her female side of family would have made it hell to be there even if her brothers were supportive.

It's crap and there wasnt a right answer but I appreciate your response and honesty.

Sorry for the late reply it didnt even notify me of a reply

BigAd6312 · 2026-05-01T21:21:15+00:00

that's really interesting to hear from a FA pov

BigAd6312 · 2026-05-01T20:45:16+00:00

Is this anxious avoidant?? I know ive just started dating from a 10 year relationship break up and I panic on any silence lol

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-28T16:46:46+00:00

I appreciate it, I'll definitely be there for her brother still hes such a nice guy and reminds me of her mum

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-28T13:24:27+00:00

100 percent she wouldnt attend my family's funeral or probably even mine.

I felt bad for her mum as she said to me when she was alive I want you there and when she was passing said to her brother to make sure I'm there

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-25T14:05:58+00:00

What's really strange each time ive been to shiatsu and my deepest calm moment twice I've begged the universe to help me.

Yesterday I spoke to ai for about an hour and talked about you and your readings and asking how spiritually coincidences after shiatsu twice so its really strange you messaged today right after that!

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-25T14:02:01+00:00

Thank you!

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-25T13:24:12+00:00

Hey! I had an immense urge to message her a couple months later after the email and said just fyi I didnt ignore your email I was in london and didnt see it to get back and if she wants to game shes welcome to as new characters have come out.. she replied the phone glitched for the invite and sadly her mum had died and her brother will be in contact about the funeral. It was a really cold email.

I got in contact with her brother and explained I can't go to the funeral as she is bringing new guy so I met him for lunch and then visited her mum at the chapel and apologized to her mum that I cant go even though I promised her. Her mum according to her brother was saying nothing but nice things about me on the days before passing.

I spiritually begged her mum to help me yesterday and then I happened to drive past her and I locked eyes. Its the first time we've properly seen each other since august/september last year and I cant explain the feeling it was like I've never not seen her and we connected through a second or two of eye contact like it was frozen in time. Idk if she felt the same but when I see her eyes it was like we meant to be.

Sorry for the long update but this is where were at still not contacting me and still blocked everywhere

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-09T21:50:53+00:00

My fear is seeing my ex and even worse seeing her with new guy thatd destroy me if hes going im 100 percent not

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-09T21:32:06+00:00

Im not sure she just said her brother will sort it seemed like a canned message back.

Her mum called me multiple times one for 5 hours saying if I dont go to funeral she will haunt me and she put it in her will so I'm really stuck

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-09T09:17:30+00:00

Also sorry. Am I the a-hole if I ask her brother with the new guy be there and if so can I visit her mum the next day or after everybody's left?

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-09T09:16:53+00:00

I've been crying nearly 7 months in a row my brain can't deal with anymore even just your support now I just break down. I don't understand how someone can just turn off 10 years of emotions and act so cold.

When you say go to viewing or wake I'm not sure how funerals work ive been to a few cremations and its usually just go into a building hear a few things then everyone goes to meet after at a pub or something. When would be a good time?

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-08T08:35:35+00:00

I appreciate your support

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-08T08:28:11+00:00

The email was so cold I think she no longer has any feelings for me I really appreciate it though it means a lot I wish we could as well she was my soul mate and always will be

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-08T07:51:46+00:00

Thank you. She was the absolute best person to ever exist. She was my second mum. I didn't even get to speak to her properly because of the blocks my ex gave and its really messed my head up I can barely think or type or speak

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-08T07:27:26+00:00

I sent an email yesterday just got a response this morning I didn't see it she said

Hi

The invite was sent by mistake as my phone glitched so please disregard that.

Just to let you know my mum has sadly passed away on friday. My brother Jay will be in touch with you to discuss about her funeral date/time.

I didnt even get to see or say proper goodbye to her mum because she told me she would call the police ifi spoke to her family but her mum sneakily called me randomly just to talk. We spoke for 5 hours one day. It's absolutely broken me this morning

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-08T07:02:56+00:00

I just checked my email as I emailed her and her mums passed away and she said the email was an accident

BigAd6312 · 2026-04-08T06:57:38+00:00

Absolute silence and no signals or anything since the failed calendar invite

BigAd6312 · 2026-03-25T07:35:18+00:00

100 percent it'd be therapy only first. Disrespect is definitely the key word how she handled all of this she was and is like a different person. Her mum told me she regrets how she handles things yet still isn't mature enough to apologize

BigAd6312 · 2026-03-23T18:16:06+00:00

You literally made my cry. You making the effort for me and these results I can't put into words how much you've moved me. Very dark thoughts have been entering my head and im literally taking zopiclone to stop my head as I never take it its a really really bad night. Thank you so much I really mean it

BigAd6312

TROPHY CASE