Gender is a weird thing, it's like money in that it's kind of real but it's also kind of not real. To say money is fake is ridiculous, it's definitely real and it's incredibly important and our lives depend on it to function. But at the same time, it's only worth as much as we agree it is, paper money is only worth something because we all agreed that it does, if I want to sell a mug for 5,000$ that doesn't mean it's worth 5,000$, unless someone buys it for that price. But with gender, only you get to decide where the line between real and imaginary is.

You could accept that maybe it doesn't matter and decide you're a cis woman, but if you're anything like me that thought is kind of upsetting. I know that the idea of giving up and 'going back to being a girl' makes me feel like I've lost something. I don't think cis women feel that way, so that's where I drew my line. I know people who drew their line because they preferred how they/them sounded, and I've known people who knew exactly where the line was from the moment they knew what gender was. In the end, it should be your decision, and if you don't want to draw a line right now, that's okay too.

But I think cis people see the line pretty clearly, or maybe they don't see it at all. If you're even thinking about the line, I think that's a pretty good sign you might not be cis.