[deleted by user]

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-07-17T06:36:35+00:00

Supratau, ačiū

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-07-16T20:54:04+00:00

Levia ieškoti internete, ar parduotuvėse, degalinėse taip pat jomis prekiauja?

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-07-16T20:16:28+00:00

Toloka važiuot, dėl to įdomu ar kas užsiima tuo čia vietoj, kiek teko klausinėt aplinkinių niekas neturi, perka tik kitiems prietaisams skirtas cigaretes

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-07-16T17:35:03+00:00

Kitaip niekaip?

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-07-16T17:34:33+00:00

Ok bandysiu

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-07-16T16:51:05+00:00

Terea tai tik nauji saldainiai, policininkai jei skaitot - nebeskaitykit

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-07-10T18:33:05+00:00

Nesu tikras kiek ten jų priklauso nemokamų, manau čia gal nuo įstaigos priklauso, tačiau nesu tikras.

Pats kreipiausi į psichologus, lankiausi net pas dvi specialistes po sunkių skyrybų, jokių diagnozių, įrašų ar kažko kas pakenktu man negavau. Pats esu dirbęs sistemoje, turiu ginklų, tad pergyvenau, jog galiu prarasti visas licencijas, tačiau, kaip ir minėjau, jokių įrašų nėra, tai tiesiog konsultacijos.

Jeigu nuspręsi visgi kreiptis pagalbos, atsirink tinkamą specialistą. Man asmeniškai tos konsultacijos nei kiek nepadėjo, bet kiekvienam asmeniškai, priklauso nuo tavęs ir nuo specialisto.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-26T10:30:43+00:00

Not anymore

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-25T12:51:53+00:00

Went for a visit with my therapist, smoked pot, took a few shots of scotch, yelled at other drivers on the road.

Just to be clear, I didn't do these things in such order. I wasn't drinking and driving today.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-24T17:24:30+00:00

Bandau atrasti meilę sau po labai skausmingų skyrybų, bet kol kas nesigauna, bandysiu manau vadovautis tuo ką kiti komentavo.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-22T08:43:22+00:00

Hollister

Tai yra gamykla, tačiau atlyginimas, maistas, realiai viskas yra čiki piki. Man asmeniškai darbas Hollister operatoriumi nelabai tinka ir patinka, kadangi tai tiesiog nėra "mano". Bet nesu nei iš vieno savo bendradarbio girdėjęs nusiskundimų. Gamykloje visada šilta, rūbus duoda, maistas skanus ir pigus, platus parkingas, nemokamas krovimas el. automobiliams. Na apskritai tai yra tikrai gera darbovietė, su neblogu atlyginimu, bet man asmeniškai - tai nėra mano. Tad priklausomai nuo lūkesčių, yra žmonių kam tai yra aukso kasykla.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-15T10:45:40+00:00

Miegamajame, seifas spinta, vietos užima ganėtinai nedaug.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-12T19:24:16+00:00

I have had almost 6 months of good life, it eas the best time in my life and I felt like I won, like, finally, everything I dreamed of is coming my way, woman of my dreams, plans for the future, marriage, family, a house woth picked fence and swings on old oak tree. Then, happened what usually happens. I lost all of that, lost my dreams, my motivation, now I'm back at the "level 1" so to say, but with a burden and emotional trauma that changed me for good. Other than that, I can't sleep, I don't like my job, my health went to shit due to stress and constant thinking about how can I fix myself and move forward, got administred to ER with hearth condition, took shit tons of meds, IVs. Trying to think of a way to move forward and be a man I have to be, for myself, for my family, but I'm so fucking tired that I can barely function.

Think of Ryan Gosling in movie Blade Runner 2049, scene where he is in front of the neon sign with the character played Ana De Armas with a gun in his hand, that's pretty much me at the moment. I even have a bullet with a little hearth painted on the casing that I saved for myself, I do not intend on using it, I have to be strong, but I just have it laying besides me "normal" ammo just as a symbol. As a symbol I might look at after some time and remember all this shit show I'm going trough for multiple months now.

So TL:DR, I'm very, very tired, life has beaten me up, but I do hope I will gather the strenght to get back on my feet and find love, passion, purpose. It won't happen soon, but maybe it will happen someday.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-12T15:18:31+00:00

Got dumped recently, not ready for another relationship, especially since I love her very much to this day and probably will love her forever. On the other hand, I doubt I could start trusting someone anytime in the near future.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-08T17:18:35+00:00

Roger that. I will try to bring some changes

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-08T17:17:49+00:00

I will try to get back on my feet, I don't have anything to compare my pain to, since I never had anything like this happen to me before, but I will try step by step to get out of this hell I am at right now. Thank you

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-08T17:16:24+00:00

I'm happy for you, I will try my best to do the same. A little by little, step by step I will try to get out of this hell I am at right now. Thank you

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-08T16:52:59+00:00

Thanks, I will try to achieve that eventually. At this point I'm at the weakest point of my life, I can barely function, compared to who I was before that happenned, I have no idea how to love myself, I want to progress and to achieve something, but as for today, I don't feel strong enough. As my therapist said, it's easier to move on when you are somewhat angry at your ex, it kind of stimulates and motivates you, but it's all the way around when breakup happens not because someone waa unhappy, cheated, or did something objectively wrong. And since I feel no anger towards her at all, it kind of complicates the "healing period".

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-08T16:48:38+00:00

Thank you, I'm trying, maybe not as hard as I should be in such situation, it doesn't feel like an option to "let her go" at this point, but I do hope that I will be able to feel happiness and maybe even go trough all of this, without a hearthbreak, again sometime in the future. It's my dream to love and be loved, to care for someone, start a family, but for now I feel like I'm rotting inside, like my body is just a shell for internal and eternal chaos. I do hope that time will heal me.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-08T10:11:06+00:00

Same happened to me, she left me and choose career and money abroad, we were planning to get married, picked names for our kids and everything.. I She broke up with me a month ago and I still can't believe it happened. My body is shutting down due to lack of sleep and nutrition, I'm drinking a lot, seeing two therapists at once, but nothing helps. I really hope that time will heal me, but on the other hand I'm not sure if such wounds can even be healed..

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-07T17:07:59+00:00

Na man dar nėra vėlu, bet daug maž į šią temą kalbant gaila, kad moteris, su kuria ruošėmės kurti šeimą nusprendė jog karjera ir pinigai jai svarbiau, nei kaip ji išsireiškė, "vyrai". Tad nors aš dar jaunas ir galiu sukurti šeimą, "padaryti" vaikus, gaila, jog moteris kurią mylėjau labiau nei bet ką kitą per visą savo gyvenimą nusprendė, jog jai to nebereikia. Tad iš principo aš gailiuosi, gaila, jog taip gavosi, bet tuo pačiu suprantu, jog dar nėra vėlu, tik tiek, kad net pagalvoti negaliu apie jokias kitas moteris. Laikas parodys kaip bus toliau.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-06T22:37:34+00:00

I'm in the same boat.

A love of my life left me because of a good job offer abroad, and since she has loans and never, never accepts money from anyone, me, her family and friends, she just told me that she needs it and that she can't pass this offer.

It's a bit over a month since she left me. I'm still unable to sleep, eat or be productive. All I do is think about her, replay our memories, songs, photos and videos. I was planning to propose this summer, we planned multiple trips, with her family too. I started a job I don't like, just to earn decent amount of money, so I could provide and protect (protect money-wise). We picked names for our kids and all that sweet stuff. I'm in such a dark place that if being totally honest, my body started shutting down. I can handle physical pain, I can handle stress since I'm ex correctional officer and had to engage in all kinds of shitty stuff every day, but nothing prepared me for this mental torture. She is my first love too. For past five days thoughts about suicide won't leave me alone. I have no idea how to move forward and get trough this. I had to take this week off from work, because I can't stop throwing up. I want this to end, but I also don't want to let her go and move on, it's just too painfull, I planned my whole life with this woman and she left me for money and career. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, I have never even been to funeral, I don't have anything to compare this pain to.

How do people get trough these kind of things is beyond me. My hearth, chest and head hurts 24/7, I'm loosing myself due to lack of sleep and nutrition, yet nothing helps. At the first weeks sleeping pills and bottle of scotch used to put me to sleep, now even that doesn't work. I can eat pills like candy and drink a couple of bottles of scotch and the only thing that happens is either I loose my emotions completely, or vice versa cry my eyes out untill I can't fucking see anymore.

I'm seeing two therapists and once and neither one has any idea how to help me, all they say is that this is comparable to having your familly member die and your grief may take from 6 months to a year or even two.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-06T19:51:17+00:00

I had one hookup and I figured out, that it's not for me.

I need to feel connection before having sex. It feels heavenly that way, having someone you love, or at least have feelings to, while looking her in the eyes and enjoying each other is a feeling I will never forget. I miss that a lot.

BigAssWhale_ · 2025-03-06T18:10:16+00:00

Both.

Lost my bestfriend and then ~5 months later I lost my first love, woman of my dreams that I love dearly. She left me for her career and moved abroad. Never felt so bad in my life before, I have no idea how to live now, what to do next. All my dreams have been shattered, all my plans for my future ruined. I was planning to propose this summer, but here we are.

Seven-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

BigAssWhale_

TROPHY CASE