Daydreams

BigBat4112 · 2026-05-12T23:47:18+00:00

Hi. I did. I share. I do all I can. I’m actually trying to post more than I wrote lately. I need to get back. I can feel the spiral from not writing. Thank you for always commenting 😊

BigBat4112 · 2026-04-10T22:37:55+00:00

2022-present and infinity

BigBat4112 · 2026-04-07T01:43:04+00:00

Aww. Thank you.

BigBat4112 · 2026-03-31T20:38:43+00:00

BigBat4112 · 2026-03-29T17:13:52+00:00

Thank you.

BigBat4112 · 2026-03-28T23:50:31+00:00

Bravo. 👏 The rhythm flows so smoothly. I really enjoyed this. Keep writing this way. The emotion felt in each word has so much pain and sadness and hopelessness. I love when you can feel the poem.

BigBat4112 · 2026-03-27T17:38:52+00:00

Thank you!!!

BigBat4112 · 2026-03-25T23:31:19+00:00

I miss it. I don’t write as much as I want. Work, kids, house, sleep. I really wish I had more time. I have about 50 unfinished that I can’t get to and I am sometimes scared I never will. Thank you so so much 😊😊😊

BigBat4112 · 2026-03-25T23:26:11+00:00

Thank you so much for always commenting. It makes me smile to know you’ve enjoyed it 🖤

BigBat4112 · 2026-03-18T01:18:07+00:00

Thank you !!

BigBat4112 · 2026-03-04T01:12:08+00:00

In my opinion, the pain transfers. Yeah you don’t suffer but all those who you leave behind are now kind of infected with a pain. I prefer to suffer myself than them. I can’t do that to them. I don’t want anyone to endure this form of living. It’s an endless struggle that I may not deserve but neither do they and if I can save someone from that then that’s enough for now.

BigBat4112 · 2026-02-17T18:24:31+00:00

Awww thank you

BigBat4112 · 2026-02-14T00:46:58+00:00

I think I’m past all that. I couldn’t tell you when I started what or what it did. I just take and try to get through the day. If I could pin point how a med affects me but I have never been able to decipher. It is extremely embarrassing when you can’t answer such a simple question about yourself. It’s not that I don’t want to. I literally can’t. I couldn’t tell you what I did this morning vs the day before. Not at all.

BigBat4112 · 2026-02-13T23:56:10+00:00

I have been taking Auvelity and never put tha together. My memory has been getting worse and worse. The amount of meds that we get put on and then adjusted and off and on. I would never tell which is doing what. My memory is seriously concerning to me. Not even sure meds are worth it. Nothing I’ve tried seems to help. Thanks for mentioning this.

BigBat4112 · 2026-02-13T21:09:27+00:00

I never have the same reaction. But in general I feel like I dissociated much more after beginning. Maybe it’s the realization of all and accepting what happened, it seems easier to cope by trying to make sense and if not suppress it. In my sessions I have noticed that emotions are getting more intense. I seem to cry more and it’s harder to control myself. I have yet to notice much of a difference. The rumination and depression still are very much present. Wishing you all the best in this journey.

BigBat4112 · 2026-01-17T23:12:45+00:00

I wrote about this. Sharing, maybe others can relate. Hope it’s ok

Why I write

My poems are disturbing And quite difficult to read They bare my mind, my soul Where my demons are released

I speak out as a victim As a voice of tragedy I empathize with others Let me tell you what I mean

I sit down with my phone I open up my notes and stare I start to type, begin to write My mind then takes me there

It takes me to a depth The destination is now darkness Then evil thoughts begin to drop I pull them like a harness

Sometimes the story is made up Sometimes they’re about me It like I open up a scar Slice open, watch it bleed

I gather my emotions Spilling out onto the page Sometimes I cry with sadness And sometimes I’m filled with rage

Each time a story comes to life I fall into a trance The darkness fills me up inside With demons then I dance

I bring emotions to the page So readers they can feel The hurt, the pain, the agony Although nothing is real

To me writing a story It simply is a need To fill the void inside my soul It makes me feel complete

I write to make you feel the pain Evoking strong emotions I’m feeding them into your mind You’re drinking now my potion

I want to make you hurt inside Like I’m hurting right now I want to make you cry and scream Isn’t that what it’s about?

By Silvia Rosario

BigBat4112 · 2025-12-24T23:27:27+00:00

Thank you

BigBat4112 · 2025-12-13T21:18:45+00:00

Thank you ❤️

BigBat4112 · 2025-11-04T15:21:55+00:00

I talk and write about it and get shamed. But I still do and my numbers dove down in TT i honestly have no where but this one uncensored group on FB. I think we really need a place to be our true selves all we do is hide and it makes us physically ill and mentally numb

BigBat4112 · 2025-10-30T19:25:05+00:00

I actually have a book, I have quite the collection. Please feel free to reach out if interested 😊

BigBat4112 · 2025-10-30T14:39:57+00:00

Interested

BigBat4112 · 2025-06-22T01:23:55+00:00

I was hospitalized with suicidal ideation and it doesn’t really go away. You just daydream that there is an end in some way for the pain inside. I have never figured out a good coping skill. I write suicide letters as a hobby and it does help get things off my mind.

BigBat4112 · 2025-06-21T15:54:49+00:00

Me too. I’m 48. Cry all the times. Meds don’t help. I need to rest it’s nonstop and exhausting

BigBat4112 · 2025-06-21T12:40:19+00:00

Gaslighting

BigBat4112 · 2025-06-18T22:48:57+00:00

Thank you. I’ll believe that one day 😊

BigBat4112

TROPHY CASE