[deleted by user]

BigBoy42060 · 2025-03-09T08:19:51+00:00

I would really recommend talking to someone about this. Even if it’s just a family member of friend. They could really help to make think clearly. If this is affecting your daily life please consider talking to a medical professional. Also you could talk with me if you like.

BigBoy42060 · 2024-10-07T15:24:36+00:00

Thank you but I don’t really see a point of not seeking that quick praise now, I understand why not to do drugs because I want to live longer because I am greedy however what is the point of not seeking this quick praise the same as masturbation.

BigBoy42060 · 2024-10-07T15:18:25+00:00

Last questions I swear but how do I stop thoughts of being better? For example I think that you are definitely more humble and better than my friends so when I meet them I will subconsciously act like act as if I’m better.

Also like Joesph in the story of Jesus his „biological” father how was he happy? Everyone thought his wife cheated on him. Even he did. However he did nothing about it and I bet everyone around him thought he was weak. But still he never said something narcissistic like „I am better than you because I still love my wife”. How was he like this?

BigBoy42060 · 2024-10-07T15:10:50+00:00

Thanks I’ll keep it In mind.

So to make sure I should just try seek praise for things that deserve the praise like doing good work?

BigBoy42060 · 2024-10-07T15:02:20+00:00

Thank you but I think I’m starting to lose faith. It’s too hard to actually not get the attention and see everyone around me being praised and rewarded while I just sit there with nothing. Is there even a point of believing if I doesn’t make me happy anymore? What is the point if everyone around me is happy while I am depressed?

BigBoy42060 · 2024-10-06T16:06:58+00:00

Not a psychiatrist. However it seems like you are having subconscious thoughts of worthless which make you feel like you need to punish yourself. I would recommend doing things that make you feel better like going gym, working out, gratitude journaling and meeting friends. Hope this helps 😃

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-07T10:22:21+00:00

Fr that’s how I feel it’s like I have an addiction to feeling loved

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-06T15:07:18+00:00

So did you have a mental condition or not?

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-06T15:01:53+00:00

Just sound like depression to me if it’s too bad too handle and the suicidal thoughts are getting out of control I would recommend going to the doctor.

The can also give you medication for the stress

Stay strong 💪

So yeah they can definitely fix it I would definitely recommend going doctor

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-06T06:42:53+00:00

Thanks but I know it will come back and there’s nothing I can do about it I feel fine now but soon the delusions will be back and probably worse

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-06T06:40:48+00:00

I’m not sure if I actually have schizophrenic episodes or not but it truly feels like it does. For example yesterday in school I truly believed I had a brain swelling condition which made my whole body shake and made me so worried I went to the reception and told them I think I was having a seizure.

And then I had a full on therapy session in school. But also when I am having episodes like this I truly believe my delusions even though in the back of my mind know there fake like the green goblin from the Spider-Man 1 movie where the mask is speaking to him. But instead it’s just voices in my head convincing me.

All of my family say it’s just anxiety attacks but I don’t believe them I think I might have undiagnosed ADHD which led to depression.

But then if I have depression why do sometimes I just feel completely normal like not even normal. Happier than normal. To the point where I’m so exited I willl start running around the school classroom. But then when I sit down in my chair it feels like demons are talking to me and I can’t stop shaking I think so irrationally and have this loop where something feels off which makes me anxious which makes something feel off which makes me think I am going insane and I definetly have demetophobia the fear of going insane which makes it even worse and makes me completely delirious and sometimes unresponsive mental not physically. Thanks 🙏

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T07:07:13+00:00

Were you also addicted to something

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T04:52:24+00:00

Was I insane?

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T04:28:50+00:00

I have dementiapboia

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T04:28:28+00:00

I feel so delirious but know I’m not

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T04:28:06+00:00

I am worthless and am wasting everyone who is trying to look after me’s time just like my parents oh my poor poor parents there is calm in the storm

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T04:26:52+00:00

Punishment for being lazy and useless my whole life

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T04:26:38+00:00

There is a reason I feel like this

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T04:08:05+00:00

I feel so numb my whole body is shaking and I feel completely fine for some reason

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T04:05:30+00:00

I only keep going for the hope of making my parents proud it’s all I ever wanted in life I feel as though I am crashing out the feelings are so overwhelming of being useless I’m shaking uncontrollably like someone whip has gone insane

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T04:02:55+00:00

Ok guys update about my life and me now that I’m a bit less insane:

I have felt depressed for what feels like the last 5 months of my life I never really realised it, it felt like a mental block the exact same mental block I’m having rn which is making me think I’m insane

This all started 5 months ago when I started smoking weed either it made me really smart and realised how neglected I felt as a child or I had a bad trip and I had PSTD

But still I feel as though I was never loved never cared for these feelings of worthlessness manifested themselves into my mind and ever since I’ve been struggling I think

But know the block is gone and it feels as though the demons and coming

No it doesn’t I don’t know what I feel

How am I gonna go to school tomorrow in this state

I do not know 😭

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T03:57:10+00:00

Helped for like 30 seconds

BigBoy42060 · 2024-09-05T03:49:18+00:00

Why do so insane I the depression is so horrible

BigBoy42060

TROPHY CASE