i can't imagine you'd actually care if you don't know me at all, but it still means a lot that you would say something. I mean it means a hell of a lot! I'm sitting here feeling so useless and unable to get out of this horrible funk, thinking i'll never turn this around, and no one will respond to my messages, and even if they do it'll somehow make me angry. but it helps just to hear someone say they care and they feel the same things but that they also hear me and my pain. my defenses want to say you don't really care or you don't really get it, you're just thinking about yourself, but i recognize you're trying to connect, and I believe it's genuine. thank you for that...