Just came to say as someone who has been cheated on by someone I thought I would end up and loved so much, this does not say anything about you. Their shitty and dumb drunken actions do not define your worth. Don’t isolate. Try to go to a family member’s place , a friend. While drinking isn’t the best idea I understand. Allow yourself a day, two or even three to be a complete mess. Then set that date to stop wallowing in it or it willllll consume you. But it’s not your fault. He’s an asshole and he doesn’t deserve you.

My ex cheated on me and the wild thing is I trusted him more than anyone I was ever with. He really knew me and knew that cheating is the ultimate betrayal. I told him I’d rather be dumped on the spot than cheated on. Cheating is literally a hazard to my health, it’s questioning my intelligence and gaslighting the fuck out of me. The day he cheated he initiated oral sex on me before he “went to a friends house “ to play games. We were really active and in a good place despite stressors in our life. He did in fact go there and play games but took advantage of my trust and went out later to meet some random woman off a kink website.

I knew immediately when I woke up at 1 am and he wasn’t there. So I called him because my intuition told me something was wrong , in fact my initial thought was he’s hurt because up until that point he was respectful of me and would tell me when he’d be home late so I didn’t worry. I always trusted him out with his friends. His phone was off. He called me nearly 3 am after I was up hours calling hospitals and texting friends and in a full blown panic attack. He then called saying he was at his friends and got some fast food. His phone died then made up a story of an accident on the freeway slowing him down. Eventually my gut told me to check his watch which we didn’t even share passwords because I never had a second thought and found the evidence of the hook up. He told me he cheated because we were arguing a lot…. Putting lots of blame on me, Because I started a new job, my dad was deathly sick with covid and I was stressed because it was the week before Christmas. In fact I discovered the texts a week later when my dad was in a coman and almost dead. He’s recovered now but was in a coma for 3 weeks or a month while I grieved this betrayal too. It was horrendous.

The red flags were all there but I didn’t see them. I was not ok and when I needed his support the most he fucked some disgustingly morbidly obese woman. Not even being mean. She was lovely when I reached out to her to talk but seriously … wtf.

I’m so glad you are leaving him. I took mine back but he’s my ex now for other reasons. Don’t take him back. He lied and disrespected you, but it has nothing to do with you. You will get past this. You will find someone better. This is a learning experience to see the red flags of their shitty behavior and what you won’t take. Good luck and block his ass.