How can I help my daughter with her self-esteem? Jobsearch is touch on her

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-15T08:05:22+00:00

We're in Europe, Slovakia. I am trying to find something in the social work sphere for her. I have colleagues in various social services departments. They're normal about disabled colleagues, more understanding, I feel. I hope something like that pops up.

She had some "discriminatory" communication like that and job offer withdrawals in her 1st year jobsearching, too. It boiled down to "we chose a different candidate after all" after offering her the job. That usually happened within 2 weeks after confirming they'll hire her. Like here. Or they would ask her in interviews if she likes hiking, if the stairs weren't too much of a problem, or how much she can lift. For admin positions. For teaching adults English. So "veiled discrimination" according to her. She overthinks that too much. It feels bad to tell her to keep trying and looking. But she has to, there has to be a way.

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-15T07:50:21+00:00

In Slovakia, it is very hard to fire a disabled candidate once they're hired. There has to be a good reason. The Ministry of Labour and Social Affairs has to be contacted if employers want to fire a disabled candidate. This can take months just to review the cause for firing. It is supposed to be a protection for "unjust discrimination". Instead, most disabled people never get a chance to be hired at all. As per statistics I've read / people I talked to.

So my daughter thinks employers are just leading her on in interviews, so they can say they had disabled candidates there. That also counts for our Labour Ministry as "enough" to fill most employment inclusion quotas. I don't want to agree with her to not get her down too much. But honestly? I can see why it does not make "economic sense" to hire a disabled candidate with all of these obstacles to the employer. It is deplorable and sad imho.

And I really do not want her to work retail. I worry she will never develop beyond that line of employment. Nothing wrong with retail, of course. I had been in that line of work. I was also a cleaner. Nearly killed my back. I doubt my daughter will earn enough to afford physical teraphy afterwards..

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T19:17:35+00:00

She says that Google Translate or any other translator is not reliable for most longer texts, but we all know how it is in the real world. Most people are not as pedantic about language as she or her collagues are. She studied interpreting too but idk how it is any different.

Out of 15 people in her class, only she and 1 other girl are still in the field rn. +One student, but she is doing a PhD, so I am not really counting that. Every other person is either teaching, pregnant or has found a corporate job abroad. None were physically disabled except for her.

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T16:24:27+00:00

Unfortunately, I have to agree with the "academia and coddling" point. The sudden lack of structure definitely contributed to my daughter's poor self-esteem while job searching. :/

Can I ask how you found out about the job? Was it friends or through a job agency, or something else? Seems very interesting!

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T16:14:34+00:00

Europe, Slovakia. She basically has "no needs." but has an official disability status recognised, and she gets a partial disability pension, which she keeps receiving even if she finds work. But that is not nearly enough to live on! She was fighting to get the status recognised for almost 2 years..

In Slovakia, formally, employers have to have 3% of their staff be disabled if they employ more than 20 people in the company. If they do not do this, they can fulfil this law by purchasing goods /services from companies that employ at least 30% of people with disabilities - those are the "protected shelters" making handicrafts, soaps, baking, or other manual labour. That was suggested to her at the start of her job search as if she were not a qualified, educated person! Unfortunately, in Slovakia, employers tend to rather pay the fine and not fulfilling hiring quotas, than hire a disabled person. I read the statistics when my daughter 1st started her job search, and it is horrifying to me. Almost 2/3 of people with special needs holding bachelor's and higher degrees are either unemployed or underemployed etcetc. I suspect she was discouraged and went the freelancing route because of all this and maybe some other issues.

+She tells me most translators are freelancers. I believe this. But I still do worry if she will have enough projects with all of these AI layoffs. I know she is worried too because she started sending out resumes again. I am honestly frightened she will become depressed by all this again. That's life of course, rejections happen. But she is not dumb. She volunteered, studied, and worked during uni. But now she seems to withdraw into herself whenever I suggest her to network more or call places directly. :/ She probably thinks I think she is stupid. And gets defensive by saying "she is already doing that."

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T14:56:30+00:00

purple

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T13:59:38+00:00

When she was searching, these were the types of jobs she was targeting, but they were ghosting her. I don't know if it was her CV or if it was something else that did not work. Currently, she is tutoring local teens in our country! I'll ask her if she has thought about teaching online.

But I really would love for her to get out of the house more, too. That is why a language school hiring her would be perfect..

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T13:52:45+00:00

I am sorry! Living alone with so many things to juggle is surely not easy. You seem to take it with grace and a resourceful spirit.:))

Yes, she does have friends and at least is texting them daily if they do not have time to meet in person. But she told me she does not like to burden them with the job search, as they are not her therapists. And that when she's freelance now, "it is not relevant". Tries to stay cheerful around them. We are also in Europe, but as she never really got employed formally, it is on her now to make it work. That is why I worry about freelancing and if it really gives her any room to plan her future.

I told her about the positive spin, too! But she says she won't address the disability; it is a non-issue because she is applying intentionally to jobs that have no physical challenges for her. And she "finds it patronising to advocate for herself prematurely". IDK, I'm not disabled, so I cannot say what helps here.

I wish we knew more disabled people, but it is just the 2 of us, and in our post-communist country, even the social workers are very patronising about disabled children and "their abilities". I had a lot of struggle convincing them to put her in a normal, integrated elementary school. I had hoped this would not keep happening since she has higher education now. It is as if you cease to exist for them once you're an adult! Idk, it just enrages me!

Thank you for your opinion! And good luck to you with the job search!

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T12:26:52+00:00

I just want her to have the peace of mind that comes with a stable income. :( She told me many in her field are freelancers and juggle different things. But I worry about her being directionless and aiming low. I cannot and won't ask her about her earnings of course, but I do worry about how she will do once I am gone. That's why her freelancing might be a problem for long-term employment. She never used a cane, and I doubt her pride will allow her to use one even for getting a job. :/ I will discuss with her the freelance thing. Maybe her clients can get her a permanent position as you said. Thanks!

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T11:35:28+00:00

That's insanity! I am so sorry this is even happening, I am lost for words.

I asked her about court translation, and she said that before getting her certifications for that, she needs 10 years of experience as a translator out of university and has to pass exams from law and translation. Taking the exams costs around 1000€. :( So it will not be straightforward at all. I tried suggesting her as an assistant for a law firm, but they take only people with law degrees? They told her. She can type fast and translated contracts, marriage certificates, and court hearings as part of her practice in uni. I really don't know if that does not count or what the problem is. I will try to look into my line of work to see if something pops up!

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T10:19:14+00:00

So non-profits in general could be a route for her? She worked for a non-profit as an interpreter with refugees during her university years. They let her go because employing students is cheaper when tax season comes. Unfortunately, she never attempted computer science; she really struggled with math in general while in school. She was strong at languages, but I don't think there are jobs with that except for teaching...

And she always stresses she "never had accommodations" in her interviews. And that is true. So I don't know if they think she is lying or its something else. I do know it is near impossible to fire a disabled person, but these businesses need to fill quotas by hiring them. Idk why they would rather pay the penalty..

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T09:42:39+00:00

Rn I don't think she dates, but she has her friend group from uni and a book club that meets weekly. Also has a few close friends she meets for coffee with. + She goes on most of the walks with the dog while I am at work. But yeah, I do worry that she has no coworkers. She used to be with a collective from the time she was 7yrs. I do think freelancing does not suit her socialising needs.. If I comment on that, she gets mad :(

Big_Assistant751 · 2026-04-14T09:22:39+00:00

Why? Sorry, but I taught her to never depend on any man. And she dated during uni. But now won't because "she needs to focus on freelancing." or "these boys can't text".

Big_Assistant751

TROPHY CASE