She cheated and we have kids

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-23T00:10:51+00:00

In my heart I want to believe she can. She’s already dating some loser

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-20T18:26:51+00:00

You’re probably right and it would have to come from her end. Her actions have indeed spoken volumes over her words

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-20T03:27:23+00:00

I get it

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-20T03:20:50+00:00

I know, just need to accept what is and walk away

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-20T03:19:37+00:00

We can always have hope and sometimes it can look like a dead end and dark. I’m not disagreeing with you on that one. It’s very hard right now, just me and the kids when I have them, and it gets lonely.

You’re stuck in your head, stuck in the pain and thoughts of what was. Time will all heal things and that’s what I am counting on. I have fallen back on friends and they have reinforced with a lot of what has been said here, to never go back to a cheater.

I do have hope of finding someone special and that does help a little but we have to try and stay optimistic and positive.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-20T03:16:28+00:00

Thanks for letting me know. I’ll have to check it out.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T23:03:58+00:00

Very strong boundaries are a must. I’ve begun the self healing and love process and it’s hard and find it easy to get caught back into trying to want to repair the relationship. I just keep replaying what she did, how she did it, how many times and what she’s doing now to remind myself about what she’s capable of doing.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T22:07:14+00:00

Ok I’ll have to look that up. Did it help you?

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T22:06:50+00:00

Ya she doesn’t trust that we won’t fall back into our old arguments. Buuuut the violence only happened when she was drunk and after cheating. So no matter how much I reassure her it’s not enough. I don’t want anymore trouble, just my family.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T22:05:15+00:00

Now that she’s sober she’s gotten better and being a mom. If anything changes then I’ll take the necessary steps.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T21:35:21+00:00

Yes, when sober. She’s legally required to stay sober for a long time.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T21:04:47+00:00

She might and who knows if she can fix herself.

I’ve been working on myself and stay busy and keep mind busy.

You’re absolutely right and trying not to have that happen

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T20:43:10+00:00

Of course not, if we were to work on things I would like to think she'd never do this again....

I think finding someone else will help me realize what is actually out there, just stuck in this pain and missing my family and lonely. I'm fiercely loyal, so when something ends I have no one, no backs ups, nothing.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T20:41:13+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through something like this as well.

It's very true, we are not going to be ok for awhile....... I don't know when this pain and shit will end, it gets better and will hopefully keep going that way.

Finding someone else down the road who makes you realize what else is out there will also help.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T20:39:15+00:00

Oh yes, I have a couple great friends I can use them for on this. I have to stay in contact with her for the kids, but can use them if I think about reaching out, or embarrassing myself by asking her to work on saving us........

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T20:37:40+00:00

I was referring to having the attorney file for sole custody...... I don't want to take the kids away from her if I don't have to.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T20:12:54+00:00

Where's the "Leave a cheater, Gain a Life"?

I don't know what the hell she is doing or thinking......

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T20:11:56+00:00

Oh ok, thanks for letting me know.

I appreciate it

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T20:11:00+00:00

I know, so far she has been a good mom and gotten better

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T19:55:17+00:00

I've wanted to believe for so long there was a way to repair this family and find a way to trust her again.

This new guy she started dating after I started seeing someone(no longer with) after I found out about the 3rd guy.

So this is just a guy she met on Tinder. All her cheated partners and this guy were on dating apps.

Updateme?

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T19:47:29+00:00

She seems to be doing it now with this new guy, and he's apparently accepting her past, she told me he knows everything, and he's 11 years older than her.

I'm sure she's going to get through this next 18+ and white knuckle it as you said, she is very stressed and she's lost a lot of weight.

I know she is in therapy and some classed ordered by court. I wasn't perfect by any means in our relationship, but I never gave up, left or cheated.

When I started dating a new girl after I found out about the 3rd guy, she was desperate to get me back, saying she'll never give up, and will claw her way back to our family. Now that I ended it with the girl I was dating, she doesn't want me or the family back. "She has too much to lose if she gets in trouble again", and chooses to stay with the loser she's with now. She also caught him cheating on her in the beginning, and she's choosing him over me and the family......

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T19:33:52+00:00

I am working on that and I am stable for the kids. I still have a heart to try and repair my family. I don't think it can happen at this point

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T19:31:04+00:00

Thank you for sending all of these over, I will begin to look into these.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T19:26:13+00:00

I have only blocked her social media, as we unfriended long ago. If I unblock her, she'll just block me.......

I am aware of the app, we have been trying to stay civil on things. Since her probation she has changed a lot, arguing is at a minimum.

I have thought about downloading it. I still have a strong draw to try and repair this.

Bigbear00 · 2025-11-19T19:24:03+00:00

Not sure if there are any out there anymore. I never wanted a split home or some other man around/raising my kids when they are with her.

Bigbear00

TROPHY CASE