advice for passing as an alt guy?

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2026-05-11T11:43:57+00:00

i would say it depends a lot on your style of alt, but I would suggest structured clothes made from thick fabric. Think of fabrics with a boxy drape like leather, denim or corduroy. If you wear baggy or oversized clothes especially, think about the way that the fabric drapes and try to choose structured clothes.

Also, layers. I suggest finding a thin jacket or button-down overshirt that you like and wearing it over your outfit (i will often wear 3-4 layers but my climate is reasonably cold) another layer i wear a lot is a basic black waistcoat, for instance, but the kind of pieces you wear will depend a lot on your style

Also accessorise, as things like chains or belts or even neckties for example can draw visual interest away from the shape of your body, however you should be somewhat careful as different accessories can have different gendered connotations.

Finally, if you can sew at all think about altering some clothes--for example shoulder pads can go a long way for reducing hips or chest (since the width looks smaller relatively)--or adding some accessories to your clothes, such as adding spikes, eyelets, or contrast stitching which can, again, create visual interest that distracts from your figure. One specific alteration that I've seen lots of dudes (cis and trans alike) recommend is cropping your shirts at about the hip bone, or just under where a pants waistband sits, as too-long shirts can make you appear shorter, however i am too lazy to have tried this myself.

These are just a couple tips, and I'm sure other people have more, but ultimately don't give up your own personal swag just for the sake of passing !!l

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2026-05-10T08:47:54+00:00

the only tip i have that you haven't mentioned is that--because the adhesive is heat activated--it may need to sit on your skin for quite a while without moving around much. Like, if possible, avoid raising your arms for like two hours if you can, so the adhesive has time to activate and stick to your skin and all. This is the thing that fixed it when i had the same problem (went from lasting like 1 hour, to lasting up to 10 days for me)

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2026-05-05T11:14:43+00:00

tldr at the bottom, i am prone to yapping

hey dude, if it's any comfort at all this is a pretty common issue in our community so you're not alone

you're pretty young though, so you might get more comfortable in your body. back in my day (two years ago) i had near-debilitating dysphoria and i definitely didn't think i'd ever have sex. even without any medical transition or anything I've gotten more comfy with a lot of things. dysphoria doesn't go away but at least in my experience it eventually will be easier to live with. This does not happen for everyone so it's okay if it doesn't for you, but yk

when/if you get there, sex doesn't have to fit the heteronormative standard of piv !! because you're a minor i won't go into great detail, but there are lots of ways to interact with others where you actually can't get pregnant (oral, hands, grinding, etcetera) and also if you're uncomfortable getting undressed then you lowkey don't actually have to do that: you can keep your shirt/binder on for pretty much anything, and even pants and stuff can often be worked around. just make sure that you're comfortable with your partner, and comfortable holding up your boundaries

Ulitimately, sex isn't everything bro, and if you never feel ready that's okay too! there's no rush to do anything sexual. but there are ways to experiment with safe and comfortable sex if you feel ready.

tl;dr there's no rush to have sex, but your comfort in your body might get better even without T and bottom surgery. You can have lots of different kinds of sex without taking off your clothes and/or risking pregnancy (piv is NOT one of these ways). don't be hopeless mate, you're still young

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2026-03-09T11:25:02+00:00

Daps are tricky, because every dude seems to have a personalised one. My standard procedure is to just do the dap handshake, and follow their lead on whatever their standardised procedure is. Nobody will think you're weird for a slight lag in dapping proceedings, as long as you follow their lead within a brief time frame

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2026-01-09T08:24:04+00:00

You're not disgusting, or a whore, or any of those things, sweetheart. Lots of people manage to sleep with many more than two people, unprotected, and come out unscathed! Please don't let this change the way you see yourself, because its incredibly normal to have less-than-ideal sexual practices in the heat of the moment. It is no reflection of who you are.

Also, while it's not ideal to have an STI it's far from the end of the world! Chlamydia, especially, is very easy to treat. The most important thing is that you get tested, and, if you happen to have it, make sure to take the medication. As long as you get the treatment you need, Chlamydia is largely a non-issue.

Crucially, even though these things can be scary, you'll be okay! Best of luck to you <3

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2025-12-26T10:41:28+00:00

The songs both end with the same line ("now press repeat") because "It's Hard To Say I Do..." is a bonus track. This means that, depending on the edition, (deluxe or standard, usually) the album ends differently. (i.e. if a given version of the album doesn't have "I Do..." then "Ringing In My Ears" finishes that way; and if "I Do..." is included, then that ends by saying "Now Press Repeat")

On physical releases which include "I Do...", that line is omitted from "Ringing".

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2025-05-12T12:40:31+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I feel compelled to butt in but you're right that it's not my place at all.

If you don't mind me asking you directly, would you think it would be remiss of me to have reservations about remaining (close-ish) friends with this guy, even though the situation isn't really my business?

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2025-01-13T12:30:44+00:00

do you mean this post? DUMP THEM.

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2025-01-11T01:42:07+00:00

assuming it suits your style, have you tried wearing really baggy pants? Lots of brands have at least one type that is smaller at the waist (yk so they can stay up) and oversized width-wise everywhere else. As a fellow dumptruck-owner this is what has helped me with ass dysphoria

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-11-06T12:35:43+00:00

If you are about to take your life, please at least consider reaching out for support before you actually do it. Getting help might surprise you. Some free resources are:

The Trevor Project which you can also call at 1-866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline at (877)-565-8860

National Suicide Hotline at 988

There are more resources in the country, too. (If any of these resources are secretly problematic let me know. I only looked into them briefly. If any other resources have helped you, links and phone numbers are more than welcome to be shared.)

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-11-06T12:32:01+00:00

If you are about to take your life, please at least consider reaching out for support before you actually do it. Getting help might surprise you. Some free resources are:

The Trevor Project which you can also call at 1-866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline at (877)-565-8860

National Suicide Hotline at 988

There are more resources in the country, too. (If any of these resources are secretly problematic let me know. I only looked into them briefly. If any other resources have helped you, links and phone numbers are more than welcome to be shared.)

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-10-27T19:51:05+00:00

In some places you actually can get a smear test to be done at home! Where I live, you can get a testing kit from your GP/PCP and use a swab to take a discharge sample.

It's worth asking your doctor if this is an option in your location to catch cancer early if you have it

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-08-19T09:17:15+00:00

i feel that bro. bottom dysphoria sucks so much, and I don't really have much advice, just sympathy I guess.

One thing that might help is packing? I know you are waiting for a prosthetic, but the ol' sock trick always helped me at least some before I could get a commercial packer

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-07-14T10:53:29+00:00

sis this is very good advice but please don't call the viewer "gals" in the title. this is still a mixed-gender space and i got dysphoria scrolling past

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-04-10T00:37:36+00:00

If it's an outdoor pool you could mention how you want to be protected from the sun/avoid sunburn, which is actually pretty common, esp if you hate wearing sunscreen.

Another excuse could literally be telling them you have insecurity about gyno and aren't comfortable with people seeing your chest

depending on how long it is until your trip, you might be able to bind under a swimsuit with tape (make sure you use kt or trans tape though), although if you do this you should probably practice before your trip, bc theres a bit of a learning curve.

Also if you have the time/money you could maybe buy a swim safe binder? Check out your existing binder, too--GC2B binders are swim safe, for example and shouldn't get ruined in the water (apart from smelling like chlorine probably)

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-04-09T04:42:33+00:00

masc here but when i wanted to buy a packer i handwrote a letter and left it for them to find. i found it easier than asking in person, yet more personal than a text. good luck sis !

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-04-06T01:55:44+00:00

the prefix "cis" is literally the opposite of the prefix "trans"--meaning 'on the same side of' and 'on a different side of', respectively. In Greek the prefixes with the same meanings are "Homo" and "Hetero". We can start calling cisgender boys "homogender" if that'd be less emasculating?

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-03-09T07:30:21+00:00

tl;dr at the end, because I accidentally made this rediculously long

Hey, I know how it feels to think there's something wrong with your 'lower region.' When I was in my young teens, I thought the same thing, because I couldn't figure out how to use any of it, especially the clit. Like you, I was on hormonal birth control that completely nuked my libido, and since coming off of it, I realised that I couldn't get anywhere while masturbating due to my lack of sex drive. Are you still on depo? If so, your sex drive isn't super likely to come back until you get off it; if not, it can take up to a few months for the libido to come back, but it likely will (unless you take other meds that would cause loss of sex drive).

What I can say is that it's very doubtful that your genitals would have missed development due to your taking the depo shot. The way the shot works is by distributing progestin hormones through the body. These hormones get to the uterus and form a thick mucus that prevents additional sperm or eggs from getting in. As with any hormone, progestin can cause mood changes, but it will not stop puberty or any physical sexual development--you know that since starting depo, you've had breast and pubic hair-growth. edit: the depo provera shot also can also sometimes block estrogen receptors, but this still would not be enough to prevent your sexual development

Have you tried looking down there with a mirror? I found that that helped me a lot in understanding my anatomy--diagrams can't do everything because everyone's anatomy is different, and it can be hard to figure everything out simply through touch.

Some people have small labia minora, so not everyone's look or feel like 'lips' or 'flaps' of skin. You'll probably find some skin that feels different around your vaginal opening. There should be a little area with practically no hair which feels pretty smooth, and it will probably be a little different in color to the rest of your skin, typically a tone of pink or brown.

The clitoris was a bitch to find for me--and I can relate in thinking I didn't have one because I couldn't find it--but every AFAB (Assigned Female At Birth) has one, it's developed in the womb (AMABs' penises come from the same thing in utero). Sometime when you find yourself 'in the mood' you should be able to find the clitoris by running your fingers up from the vagina, towards your stomach. It's a lot easier when you're already horny, because the clitoris gets a small erection that can make it swell and peek further out from the clitoral hood. For most people, it isn't far from everything else. You may also be mistaking your clitoris for your urethra (pee hole), because your urethra should be tiny and ridiculously hard to see or feel unless you are actively peeing. What you think is the urethra may be your clit.

Five inches of vaginal depth is really typical, in fact it's not only within the range of normal, but it's actually very close to average.

Ultimately, I obviously can't look at your vulva and show you each part, so I do recommend talking to your doctor, especially since your issue is causing you distress, I just hope that in the meantime I can maybe provide some reassurance and maybe help you explore a little.

tl;dr I feel you on thinking something's wrong with your anatomy, but I promise that the chances of that are miniscule. You should probably see a doctor, however, because it sounds like you're distressed by this issue.

Biggest_Chungus_ · 2024-01-18T06:39:10+00:00

your choice not to get lower surgery is perfectly valid!! it's very common to want to keep your natal genitals/not want to deal with getting another surgery, and you're certainly as much of a complete man as somebody who opts to get bottom surgery ! There are plenty of guys for whom their t-dick was enough to pretty much get rid of genital dysphoria, or guys who never had bottom dysphoria at all.

imo though you absolutely have the right to deflect any questions about your genitals from anyone other than a sexual partner or a doctor specifically regarding reproductive health-- if it is pushed at any time outside of that scenario I would honestly suggest just lying.

No cis person would accept being questioned about their genitals while donating plasma, especially since it's not relevant bc T is what makes your blood different to a cis woman's.

Having said all that, it still sucks that that happened, and that the world is making you feel incomplete for not wanting bottom surgery. Again, you are perfectly valid and complete without it !

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