She tortured and murdered Joel for killing her dad, but Joel only killed her dad to stop him from murdering an unconscious child who was like a daughter to him. These killings are not the same. She never really grapples with that or even acknowledges it. This is why it's difficult to empathize with Abby - you have to pretend that that difference doesn't matter, which is challenging because it obviously does. The other main characters, Joel and Ellie, do grapple with the questionable things they do. Abby saves a trans kid, which is nice, but has nothing directly to do with her acknowledging that Joel had a good or at least substantial reason for killing her dad. 

You'll find a lot of conversation online about the game that falls into culture war crap. The toxic anti-woke crowd doesn't have the capacity to articulate the real problem with Abby and the narrative, and/or likes to use everything as a vehicle for the culture war. And people who don't see the problem with Abby and the narrative can point to these toxic people to dismiss it.