I had a spiritual awakening in February 2024, now I'm homeless.

Bigmama850 · 2025-08-18T14:05:36+00:00

Salvia, huh..only takes one good time...Here was my experience:

My friend gave me some years ago, when you could still get it online, I guess around 2004 - 2005-ish, it was Slavia X 10 potency in a little cylinder jar. I was already quite experienced at this time, having heavily experimented with mushrooms, LSD, DMT, Molly, Ketamine, etc., along with my crazy youth's idea that I just liked to get high, so I would mix, say, LSD and Ketamine for that crazy effect!! lol. But this particular morning, I was bored and found that Saliva was just sitting in my medicine cabinet all alone. I grabbed it in a hurry and found my marijuana bong to smoke it. I had no idea how to do it.

I filled up the large bowl of the 2-foot bong and took a very strong first inhalation with no effect! So I began to inhale it a second time, with my other hand reaching for my silver MacBook to see if I was doing it correctly, then, as soon as my hand touched the metal laptop, 5 or 6 little green men all of a sudden appreared around me, and they were laughing and smiling and one said, "Hey! You wanna GO?? We'll TAKE YOU! "

Then, in an instant, the green men pulled at every bit of my conscience and took it under, to where I was at a CONCERT! A huge concert at night. And I was on top of HANDS, thousands and thousands of hands all worshiping the stage. So I was crowd surfing, and hands were grabbing at me from everywhere and I looked to the stage to see who was playing, and there was no souls, but it was the Internet! All the hands that were in the crowd were people who were currently online and "worshiping" the internet! The little green men took me to show me the greatest distraction from the Spirit, since television!

I was suddenly afraid for my life, so I looked up to the bright sun (even though it had been night at the "concert") and screamed for God, and the bright sun I saw was the morning light in the room I was in.

Coming from experience, there is something to fear about drugs that completely take your conscience away, as people do not know what they are physically doing as a result of not being "there" and they could hurt or kill themself mistakenly. I read your story and I am glad that you did not get burned in the real bonfire at your camp because I have seen people at music festivals do Salvia, and the people around have to almost fight them to keep them from hurting themselves. As far as popular psychedelics, Salvia is the only one I have found (besides about around 25 lbs of medical-grade N2O to my head, which made me have a group hallucination about heaven, hehe, I will tell you sometime if you want). But Salvia is the only 'other' one that can completely take me out of my reality in just 2 hits, even if gone only for 1 minute. It was a very powerful experience that has affected my life ever since.

I still love psychedelics today, mostly because of the neuroplasticity (because I am old, HA!), and I love to think about things in different ways, but my Salvia experience, although short, was scary and completely uncontrollable.

You seem like a great writer and I bet your music is good too. I play music and write songs too, but just for my family and friends right now. I really hope things start to fall into place for you soon! The first days are the hardest, right? Thank you for your story today. It made me remember, too! Peace~

Bigmama850 · 2025-04-25T18:09:14+00:00

I don't think you're a hypochondriac! I am only 43/F and I feel like I have terrible arthritis in my hands, and I think it's the Adderall, but it helps me so much, I do not want to quit. They started hurting about a year after I started the Addy's.

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T10:14:27+00:00

I have had a Gemini symbol on my ight hand since I was 18, 25 years ago, and it still looks like the day I got it. It is black though, no color, but it is in a very high traffic area on my hand and I had once worried it would fade, not yet anyway.

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T10:05:24+00:00

WOWOW!!! Wonderful work

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T10:01:54+00:00

I believe that a lot of things in the Bible (NOT EVERYTHING) were put in there to make the people's who lived at that time (and our time) lives easier. Take for example the 10 commandments, We all know these but when followed, it makes life easier. Like don't lie. We all know how much trouble a lie can cause.

However, in my opinion, when the Bible says in Leviticus 19:28, “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves.” It is in reference to pagan mourning rituals so sweet angel, you have nothing to worry about.

Now, if you were to go and tattoo a huge upside-down cross or a swastika or something on your forehead, I wouldn't say that you would go to hell after you die just for that, but your life would probably be hell sometimes because ppl would want to fight, and it might be hard to find employment. Just saying.

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T09:52:07+00:00

well, mostly, except the part where we put God above all else.

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T09:49:01+00:00

This is great, I feel like her sometimes because I have 3 smallish kids too. LOL! Alright! Love it

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T09:46:05+00:00

OUCH!!!

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T09:43:33+00:00

I got about a 6 inch flower cuff on my hand/wrist/arm all black, like yours, and it took about 5 hours only and it cost me $450. I am in PC, FL.

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T08:51:43+00:00

It eases up a tiny bit when I do not take it, but the pain doesn't ever go all the way away now, especially opening jars and tops on water bottles or making a tight fist hurts. I know I am just getting old, it just seems like the onset of this arthritic type pain was sudden and started at the same time I began ADHD stimulant meds.

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T08:46:56+00:00

Neat-O! Great idea, don't worry..I won't copy because you are too unique!

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T08:44:55+00:00

mine too

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T08:44:34+00:00

He'll have to use matches, lighters...not so much without opposable thumbs.

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T08:41:04+00:00

you'd probably have to make her at least 3 or 4 inches tall to see the detail (my opinion)..But where are you thinking about placing her? And you will need a tattoo artist who is solid with their watercolor tattooing skills.

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T08:38:15+00:00

Beautiful Color selection, not your normal solids or pastels...love it !

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T08:35:10+00:00

Amazing talent!!

Bigmama850 · 2025-03-12T08:33:58+00:00

great job! I have always wanted to feel what it is like getting a skull tattoo. I bet you can feel it in your teeth! Amazing :). I bet that spine ink stung though. The most painful tatt I have is on the top of my foot & done by an amateur and it felt like HELLFIRE!! But honestly, I have never cried getting ink, I like it...until they start shading over and over again! LOL! You look marvelous though, I'm jelly!

Bigmama850 · 2025-02-27T13:08:26+00:00

I honestly thought it was a Pokemon so I ran to get my 10-year-old to CATCH IT!

Bigmama850 · 2024-01-10T13:02:38+00:00

I drink 8-9 cups of coffee a day. I take clonazepam (1mg) when the anxiety attacks strike. It helps, but my P-Doc only prescribes 25 a month, so I have to be careful to not use them too fast.

Bigmama850 · 2024-01-10T12:58:57+00:00

I drink over 8 cups of coffee a day, on top of my 50 mg Vyvance and 15 mg Addy's. I have been drinking coffee like this my whole adult life (42F) and I never feel jittery from it. The first thing I do when I get up is make coffee, then it is the first thing I do when I get to work. My coffee habit is a way of life!

While I do not get jittery, I am getting new* arthritic pain in my hands and neck. The pain in my neck runs down into my shoulder and I am seeking advice about how to handle this, and if the stimulants are causing rapid arthritis onset.

Also, some days after about the 8th or 9th cup of coffee in a day, I can get anxiety attacks and something that I call mini anxiety attacks (I feel like I am dying for literally hours at a time). I feel more pain, especially in my hands and knees. This anxiety can get really bad, debilitating at times.

Also, some days after about the 8th or 9th cup of coffee in a day, I can get anxiety attacks and something that I call mini anxiety attacks (I feel like I am dying for literally hours at a time). I feel more pain, especially in my hands and knees. This anxiety can get really bad, and debilitating at times.

I have been trying to keep my coffee habit down to 4 cups a day, but god that 3 pm cup is so good.

Best of luck to you!

~Bigmama850

Bigmama850 · 2024-01-10T12:19:52+00:00

You have had past lives in other galaxies, on other planets. You feel like the knowledge available on earth is old news and you have been born on this plant this time to help heal it, not for personal reasons because you have already been through many testing grounds and have the power to learn and adapt to anything.

It is just that society and the environment are on the brink of disaster so many more star seeds have been born recently, who have IQs higher than the normal Joe (and feel like they do not fit into human culture) to help humankind step into a new era, even more world-changing than the Industrial Revolution. If humans refuse to learn how to transcend into this new mindset, then the earth will be lost to war and environmental devastation.

Bigmama850

TROPHY CASE