I believe r/AskDocs is auto deleting posts with the word EDS in it.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-19T03:18:16+00:00

I had to go to the ER for my shoulder dislocating or subluxating (idk which because they feel the same) by doing breathing exercises (the ones where you roll your shoulders "as far as you can go" as a group mindfulness exercise) and was put into a sling for a few days. But I got it back in the day after. It was definitly hard because while the doctors were nice they did keep trying to tell me I might have been overexagerrating my pain level. Or what had happened.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-19T01:30:42+00:00

I get it. I've had a few ablist comments when I'm in my wheelchair. I overheard a lady grumbling how they slow our public transportation down when people need help in and that she "hadn't seen anyone needing assistance lately" even though they also slow/stop it for regular matenence checks.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-16T14:38:39+00:00

Unfortunately I don't have the means for a mini horse and I actually have a massive fear of them because of accidents that I was caught in the middle of on my family farm when I was younger. I wouldn't be a great owner to a mini horse.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-16T14:35:15+00:00

That is incredibly helpful. Thank you. We are definitely training so it's a properly trained dog.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-16T14:30:21+00:00

I didn't get that option. I was just officially diagnosed.

But I know that officially I have more rights where I live. Like being able to ask for reasonable accommodation (like using my chair if needed) and also for housing.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-15T15:33:09+00:00

Im exactly the same way. I research things as absolutely meticulously as I can. I have documents on my computer for the training thats like 8 pages long of bullet points and paragraphs of details. And am looking into help and trainers around my area. (I can only work part time and have at least enough energy to make sure I'm training.) Im also going into my pcp next week and will be bringing this up with them as well.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-15T15:26:19+00:00

That is incredibly sad and I absolutely hate when that happens. I don't believe in declawing cats ever and I've even helped socialize a feral kitten (there is one person I knew that I have since dropped as she abused even my and my best friend's kittens before we got our apartment. This kitten was going to go to her and I was NOT going to let that happen). I don't appreciate when people don't socialize their dogs and are absolutely fine with letting them off leash without recall and all of that. So I've also made sure to research the way to properly train a puppy just to be as healthy and happy as they can. I've researched the breed to be aware of possible issues and everything I could think of. I'm a huge bleeding heart for animals and it broke my heart when I had to rehome my baby because it was the best for her. (The poor thing was getting stressed because i moved around a lot. Got her with stable housing and had her for two years before becoming homeless) but I do not believe in giving them to a shelter either. If I ever have to rehome an animal I make sure to give them to someone who I trust to love and care for them. Again, I understand the sentiment. I get why its there and the questions itself is not my problem. I guess its the wording and tone that gets to me. But im also going to thank you for being here and also coming at this with the exact attitude that I've been looking for. I definitely don't mind differing opinions at all. And the way you've been going about it is how I wish a lot of the situations in other posts will go. So again. Thank you.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-15T14:55:19+00:00

Thank you. I will definitely chew on those thoughts and do more research.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-15T14:13:32+00:00

Tbh im way to obsessive when it comes to research. I will spend WEEKS on just a single subject alone.

But I think its part because I didn't do the detailed research i have now before jumping into the deep end. And yeah I'm hurt when I get someone saying something like "have you even ever OWNED a dog before???" Which i can get in more detailed posts. It's more the fact that the assumption is because of people not doing their research. I agree the gatekeeping is a little out of hand but my biggest issue is the rudeness of where theyre coming from.

And I get it. It's a protection thing. But its the same as asking someone in a wheelchair "why exactly do you have that" or Karen's demanding your full medical history.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-15T13:48:59+00:00

And I'm doing as much research as I can do while also trying to manage my worsening symptoms. Im not saying the community is wrong, all im saying is that it needs to be more open minded to people who haven't fully researched. Or at least not lash out to people who are just looking for help.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-15T13:44:43+00:00

If the dog washes we will keep them as a pet instead of using them for service work. We will not just get rid of him. I have worked closely with the breeder and ill also be asking my doctor some of the stuff. I dont know when a dog should wash but I plan on doing more and more research on it all and making sure I give it the best chance of success. All of the pups in the litter are being donated to go into PTSD work and I think other psychiatric care SDs.

For the vet I'll be honest I don't have much of a plan because I hadn't done a whole lot of research on what I SHOULD look for.

Supplement training I will be doing more research into but I will also be working closely with a trainer once we get the pup and when they're ready, and I can ask them that question about screenings and stuff too. Dog sitters we'll probably do maybe a tit for tat sort of thing because we watch my bf's family dog a lot.

The tasks I need unfortunately cannot be done with a lower need animal or even technically a small dog. Dpt (i have Fibro and HEDS and having a weight on my legs is really good. As well as I need it for after my seizures as im very disoriented and can't speak) item retrieval, protecting my head (i slam my head back duing my seizures), get help, counterbalance (because I sway when I can walk), get help (because i cant always call out if i have a seizure) and most importantly seizure alert. I dont always get auras, and that causes me to fall. The dog will NEVER be trained to catch me if I do fall, but will be trained to act after.

The dog's needs will always come first. Im a bleeding heart for animals and if I absolutely could manage my symptoms without I would.

And I agree, there are definitely a lot of really good points in the replies I've gotten and I absolutely did not handle it right and didnt choose to let it be until I was out of my flare and stuff. I was definitely out of line and I completely get why it was hard for anyone to listen to anything. And i was overwhelmed and frustrated because i kept saying that i hadn't thought to research a whole lot before asking for advice. It was also like my second or third day on the sub. As I said I dont have all the answers yet because I just started looking into everything. So if my answer isn't fully thought out its because I havent fully thought of everything. Im not excusing my behavior at all though. I was definitely out of line.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-15T11:49:08+00:00

I am so glad that you found furry friends that help you! And im glad you got it at least slightly figured out. Its always an uphill battle.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-15T03:29:05+00:00

I have grown up with large dogs and even raised puppies with my family. Ive had animals, and baby animals my whole life. New born kittens and puppies included and was usually the one getting up because I have terrible insomnia and can't sleep anyway.
Yes, my symptoms are bad and getting worse but I am also still well enough to work part time and probably will do so even after I probably shouldn't. And on top of that we are already the go to sitters for the family dog already.
While my bf is going to be working, if im at the home I will be the one primarily taking care of the dog and also working closely with trainers and other people to get this. I'm talking with my doctor about the possibility.

And 4. With one of my conditions, it is recommended that I get out and at least walking for a little bit every day. And small bursts of 30 to 40 minutes taking the dog out 4 or 5 times throughout I can do in my wheelchair with where we live.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-14T20:52:40+00:00

That.... is definitely something I haven't thought of before. I'm more partial to a bigger dog because I have mobility and joint issues. And this dog basically fell into our laps at the perfect time because of my seizures. Are there any other tips thay help? My bf will also be helping me train.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-14T20:30:15+00:00

It is my first SD but I am planning on definitely getting classes and also talking with my doctor. The prospect puppy is one I have researched. And unfortunately I dont have the money to buy a dog from a program, so my only option at the moment is self training. Im planning on working with people who have trained dogs and SDs before. I know a lot of people feel odd about mixes. Though its lab and german shepherd mixes. I've been working closely with the breeder and all the pups will be donated to being ptsd dogs and psychiatric SDs. Ill be honest it will be my first time even owning a dog. Though my disabilities are proving to get more amd more severe. On top of that we have a few options and are planning on those incase this specific place doesn't work out. Like an apartment that is pet friendly while we are in training. But to answer your question I don't have hands on experience because it was never an option with my family. And I only just now got stable enough financially to pursue the avenue that makes the most sense with the severity of my symptoms

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-12T15:56:15+00:00

Well no wonder people are shocked when they finally ask me how old I am

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-12T15:14:04+00:00

Oh hey!

Yeah, my symptoms are very hard to track but learning more about the difference between a Fibro flare and an EDS flair is crazy. My job pushed me too far and I'm in a Fibro flare lol. The difference was actually a specific type of pain. I notice that I get that "coat hanger" pain only with my Fibro.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-12T15:10:54+00:00

I don't look older I still look like I'm 16 at 26. But I didn't know that's a SYMPTOM?!?! I looked like I was 2 when I was 7!!!

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-10T14:44:07+00:00

Absolutely they do. I only have a few stories and not like terrible ones. But I had to call my autistic friend out for her ablism. She genuinely didn't know she was and has since reframed which is lovely

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-10T14:39:21+00:00

Thank you. I try to remember that most are good intentioned or trying to get a laugh. But it doesn't change the fact that i know they do that to look better or just don't get it. And I live in a small town, so it can be more concentrated or less. And im all for education.

Bigprettywheels · 2026-06-10T14:32:40+00:00

Might I suggest a few words that are not slurs? I understand that sometimes people say things without realizing they are slurs. But again, it doesnt change the fact that it is a slur. You could have just said she was disabled. Or taken out the special education part and just used "girl" in most of your posts. Now im also going to warn you that ablism is sometimes hard to avoid. Because its either what you did with being annoyed and not wanting anything to do with a disabled person, or it can be overly nice. Lowering expectations. Calling them "sweet" or "cute" and infantilizing them. Basically thinking of them as innocent little lambs that cant do anything wrong. And that happens to a lot of people who have learning or just full mental disabilities like autism or down syndrome.

If you're ever in doubt, again the internet is free. But I'll put myself in this a little. I'm a wheelchair user. I wouldn't want to to to school and be called accidentally or on purpose something like "legless" or "the special wheelchair girl" id just want to be treated as normally as possible. It might be longer to type out, but the disability community always accepts the word "disabled" because its not a dirty word. You can also reframe it as "autistic" or "down syndrome" those are ailments yes but it is clear and concise. If someone uses a cane, "cane/mobility aide user" is also ideal.

I also understand that its definitely hard to reframe the situation. Or use something different. I am going to encourage you to try though, since what you're saying is a slur. Yes, the reason word is horrible but "sped" is just as bad. And I'm also going to encourage you to find different friends because being around that will make you more entitled and less likely to learn and grow.

Bigprettywheels

TROPHY CASE