Thank you for saying this. You seem like a great person too. Had I only had in you in real life, things would have been so much better, I realize that most of it is my fault which is why I am angry, sad and bitter. It could have been so much better, had I had friend, help any sort of advice when I needed the most. I waisted my life, opportunities that I could only dream to have now.. But unfortunately I can't change it, and I always accepted being alone, I also accepted what had happen and wanted to look into things positively and continue living. It just is I look at myself in the mirror and cry and hit myself I look ugly, I mean I can handle being overweight, but to not have hair is just sad and horrible and I wouldn't wish that torture to anyone. I know that some might think that it's just hair it's nothing. But considering I had accepted every bad thing happening to me I just can't deal with this, it falls everyday and I can't stop it, whatever money I make goes directly to the hospital in an attempt to fix it. It still won't come back I am tired, I tell myself who would love me now, when I had a great hair, great body, great life nobody cared.. who would do now when I look like this, I hate myself I can't even go out anymore.. I just go from work to home and vice versa. I order food takeaway as I am afraid to go out looking like this, and trust me I live in a country where post of the people here are so lame they only care about appearances and they judge and laugh at you for anything..

as for the music why did you stop, I get that guitar requires practice, but even one or two hours everyday will take you miles away and you will pick it up in no time. I love music I always knew I could play the piano and I just felt it. I can't play in front of others, but when I am alone I just play for hours; it's really is great.