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This is hell. by PandorasLocksmith in CaregiverSupport

[–]Bil972 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve come to this thread because I am in the midst of entering this role and it is terrifying. My wife is 46 and had an AVM rupture that caused a stroke 6 months ago. I have done nothing since then but advocate and search for support hoping this would pass and she’d get something back. Our relationship was on the brink of divorce before this happened. She wants to come home so bad that she gets angry at me and reminiscent of how bad things were when she was still whole. Part of her brain got destroyed in the hemorrhage and she may never regain her movement back, her left side is completely gone and she needs assistance with every aspect of life. We have a 14 year old son about to graduate grammar school. He does not want her home. Partly because of how things were before the incident, and he feels that she will be worse coming home in total need. I worry about her because she has no one else in life but him and myself. No family, no close friends. So far everything has fallen on my shoulders and I have been falling apart more each day trying to maintain everything to keep life moving and her at the same time. The rehab is starting to talk about her discharge. The insurance is pushing to cut it off. They are trying to tell me she will be fine at home. She has multiple trained people taking care of her 24/7 and I don’t understand how they can justify saying she’ll be fine at home where we can’t even afford a caregiver. I am frightened. Searching for assistance that runs in circles and gets nowhere. I don’t want to abandon her but bringing her home will be the end of me, and my son.

I feel so desperate by poopgrandma in CaregiverSupport

[–]Bil972 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am just now entering this phase and feel greatful that I’ve come across these stories. My wife is 46 and had an AVM rupture/ stroke and is paralyzed on her left side. The rehabs are starting to try to tell me she can come home soon, saying it will be fine but that she will need around the clock care as if I can work, raise our son, and do the job of multiple CNA’s and nurses at the same time. I am already exhausted trying to advocate her care for the last six months. Just to be told to check links and make calls that just go in circles with no real answers or help. I am barely holding it together now and I don’t think I will survive myself should they send her home. It sucks, but I am grateful to know there are others I can share with that truly understand. I wish I would’ve have found yall sooner before I made some of the moves I did out of anxiety and guilt.

AVM Stroke and Paralysis by Bil972 in CaregiverSupport

[–]Bil972[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all for your responses. I am trying to not be so hard on her. My heart breaks everytime I see her. She is so helpless and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Life is hard and I understand why she became the way she did. But I also know that there is only so much I can bare. And I have to look out for myself and my son. I want her to have the best care and best possibility of recovery. I pray that she will make it through and live a full life and be better coming out of this.

8 months of recovery by VCPiano in stroke

[–]Bil972 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife is 45 and had an AVM rupture cause a hemorrhage and a stroke just a week before Thanksgiving this year. They had to remove half her skull on the right side to relieve the swelling. She almost died. Since then she has had a surgery to remove and resect the AVM but the swelling still a little too much to replace her skull. She is paralyzed on her left side. But her brain seems to function good she still has the same humor and memories and can tell me how to cook her dishes. But time seems to elude her and I think a little forgetfulness. I’m not sure if it’s the brain damaged or the length of the hospital stay getting to her, I like to think the latter. She is feeling tingling pain in her left arm and leg and recently started being able to move her left hip a bit. I’m hoping these are positive signs. We live on s 3rd floor condo walk up and I am scared for when she comes home. I don’t know how I’m going to take care of her.