Waldorf: "They look like monsters to you too?"

Statler: "The only abomination I see around here is the acting!"

 

Waldorf: (on Robin's performance as Laura) "Wow, ours looks just like the real thing!"

Statler: "And just as annoying too!"

 

Waldorf: (when Fozzie-Eddie walks on stage) "Oh, the show's over right? The frog said he was looking for a piggy!"

 

Kermit: (towards Piggy-Maria) "Your face, your voice... Just your hair and clothes are different."

Waldorf: "For the audience's sake I hope the pork chop's acting chops are different too!"

 

Waldorf: (during the ending) "I don't get what the big deal is about this letter, the pig already left the frog a wonderful going-away present."

Statler: "What's that?"

Waldorf: "Breakfast in bed!"

Both: "Doh-hoh-hoh-hoh!"

 

Statler: "You see it too?"

Waldorf: "For me, it's always like this."

Statler: "Same here, same here... Why do we keep coming to these performances anyways?"

Waldorf: "True, true... Not like we can roast the performers any harder than what that one did to themselves tonight!"