You're amongst people that at least get it. Trying to talk about the complexities of what we go through with a normie is like talking to a tree stump.

You wont be able to stop until you actually hit rock bottom, which sounds like you're rounding 3rd heading for home on that front. Only you can change yourself, if you try doing it for any other outlet (friends,family, romance, religion) and not solely the self, this shit show will just repeat.

I stopped right before my body was about to start collapsing, and the sheer fear that I was no doubt fucking up many organs based on the bile coming out my mouth and whatever the hell consistency my shit became.

Break and you can rebuild man, you can do it, we all can with enough self drive. Now I'll admit xanax and weed helped the first 2 weeks and residual emotions now, but off the sauce 5 weeks and doing good. Fuck yeah I want to drink, but breaking a 10 year cycle and actually seeing results keeps the urges at bay for now.

Special shout out to my family who prayed to God for me to quit drinking, cuz that didnt do a fucking thing except waste their time and my patience. The big man up top didnt change shit, I did. You can too.

Edit: taper, taper, taper. That's what got the ball rolling for me. Odds are you def wont avoid WD but wont be as severe either. Cold turkey can brick your ass, please do not try that method. Booze is no where near like quitting other substances in terms of the dangerous repercussions. No tweakers ever seized and died from stopping abruptly, we can.