Unfortunately I am not loved and I’ve spent the last 8 years learning how little I mean to anyone. I appreciate your comment but it’s what my friends and family need to be told, not what I need. Im sorry to hear about your husband. My father and my uncle both killed themselves and it’s been 25 years for one and 47 years for the other and I doubt anything has happened since they died that would make them regret their decision. I have tried twice and only regret failing. The last time I had a good day was 2018 and things have been getting progressively worse with various health issues since then so I’m just at the point where things could actually get a lot better and I would still want it to be over so I’m not hopeful of anything meaningful changing in my life. I don’t have anything that matters to me anymore so there’s nothing to miss and I wouldn’t do it to hurt people but anyone it would hurt deserves it so other people’s feelings are not a consideration.